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Super October 2020

Bridesmaid still hasn’t gotten her dress

Michelle, on July 25, 2020 at 11:58 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15

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My future sister in law is one of my bridesmaids. For some reason, having her get her dress has been a problem. All my bridesmaids have their dresses except her and we are less than 3 months out. All I ask is any Azazie cabernet dress as long as it’s floor length and chiffon.

She goes on Amazon and buys some Cabernet dress from China and it ends up being way too small. She packed on a ton of weight and is now super self conscious but she’s still thin, I think she’s just not used to weighing that much but she’s been super self conscious now and can’t make up her mind on a dress. Two weeks ago she sends me dresses and none of them are in chiffon (one is satin) which looks way different than the chiffon. So I reiterated what my requests were. She said she’ll look again but I haven’t heard back.
At this point, do I keep bugging her about if she’s found a dress yet? I have so much other stress going on with covid and creating rules and guidelines that I am in the mindset, “whatever, screw it. If you don’t have your dress ready, I don’t care anymore.”

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Latest activity by Michelle, on July 30, 2020 at 10:19 AM

Master September 2020
Jessica · on July 25, 2020 at 12:31 PM
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We are just under 50 days out and as far as I know neither of my MOHs have ordered a dress. At this point I’ve said screw it. They know what I want them to get, they’ll either do it or they won’t. I totally get the stress, she’s an adult she can figure it out. If she doesn’t have the dress, she doesn’t participate as a bridesmaid, just as a guest- maybe that’s harsh but come on people!
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VIP February 2020
Julie · on July 25, 2020 at 12:40 PM
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"She packed on a ton of weight?" Wow yeah, no wonder she's self-conscious. I'd be gutted if my "Friend" went on public forums and said that about me. Her feelings should be more important than a dress she's going to wear once. If she doesn't have it by wedding day, she doesn't walk. Leave her alone until then. She's an adult.
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Super October 2020
Michelle · on July 25, 2020 at 12:44 PM
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This is coming from her own words NOT mine. I told her she still looks good which she does!! She keeps complaining about how much weight since quarantine.
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Super November 2019
Mrs. S · on July 25, 2020 at 12:53 PM
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There’s still plenty of time for azazie.
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Devoted August 2022
Sinaya · on July 25, 2020 at 1:07 PM
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Maybe ask her if she wants help selecting a dress that's flattering to her figure. Sometimes when we're not happy with our body shopping is hard. Maybe she just needs a little extra support.
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Super September 2020
Leanne · on July 25, 2020 at 1:15 PM
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This is a wedding forum so your questions about her dress are valid. Don’t listen to rude replies. I think she has plenty of time still. Maybe circle back in a month and give her a date to have it by.
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Super October 2020
Michelle · on July 25, 2020 at 1:20 PM
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Ok thank you!
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Super October 2020
Michelle · on July 25, 2020 at 1:21 PM
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Maybe I will send her some dresses for options...
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 25, 2020 at 1:31 PM
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The weird thing is you asked for specific details like azazie and the specific color but yet she’s looking at other brands when you specifically asked azazie. I mean I wouldn’t care if she’s looking for a used AzAzie dress in the same color but the fact you asked her to get an azazie dress and she’s not is kind of like uh did she think that was just a recommendation? Or maybe she thinks she could find the exact same color elsewhere? But I like pp suggestion of maybe asking her what she’s looking for in terms of style and you can find similar ones off azazie and send to her.

Anyway, I wouldn’t sweat about when she gets it as long as she gets it on time. Take it from me - my bridesmaid got hers THREE days before my wedding and it needed alterations aha. So I learned as much as we wanna remind them, they’ll get it when they get it.
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Rockstar July 2022
Lisa · on July 25, 2020 at 1:34 PM
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I would stick with your requirements. Maybe send her links to specific Azazie dresses you think she'd like and get her opinion? Or ask her what her concerns with the dresses are, and try to address those? You could setup a day where you and her look at dresses online and pick out some for her to try on, that might help her feel more comfortable.
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on July 25, 2020 at 1:36 PM
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I feel you, although it sounds to me like she is super stressed finding and buying dresses that don’t work or don’t fit.
I would just be very clear and direct and give her a deadline, tell her she must get a dress from Azazie in this color and fabric, etc. If she doesn’t comply then she doesn’t get to be a BM unfortunately.
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Super October 2020
Michelle · on July 25, 2020 at 1:39 PM
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Yeah I think I’ll have to. If she still doesn’t want to pick then oh well...she’s not in the group lol
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Super October 2020
Trisha · on July 27, 2020 at 10:43 AM
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Im Having The Same Problem. I Asked My BM's To Get A Long Burgundy Dress From Azazie And Only One Hasnt Yet. She Keeps Looking At Other Websites, Etc. Im Done Telling Her What To Do. She Either Does It Or She Dont. Her Choice But I Will Remove Her From The Bridal Party If I Have To
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Super April 2021
Tiger Bride · on July 27, 2020 at 2:51 PM
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I just took a look at Azazie Cabernet dresses on Poshmark and there are a ton of them in all different sizes - the smallest I saw was a 2 and the largest was a 20. At least with that you'll know that even if she does leave it until 2 weeks before the wedding, there are options (everything I've gotten from Posh has come within a week). You probably do have time to get one from Azazie - two of my girls had their dresses come in a couple weeks - but too much longer and I wouldn't push it.
It definitely sounds like the issue is her body image + recent weight gain. Perhaps she's thinking she can lose weight by the fall...unfortunately she needs to suck it up and buy the dress at this point. I would give it a couple weeks and then reach out to her and say "Hey, I need you to have your dress ordered by September 1st (or whatever). It's too late to order from Azazie but there are lots of options on Poshmark; let me know if you need help navigating the website. If cost is a concern I can help out with that. I know whatever you pick you'll look great in!!" If she hasn't ordered by September 1st, tell her she can't be in the wedding. Not trying to be harsh but at that point you've given her lots of options.
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Super October 2020
Michelle · on July 30, 2020 at 10:19 AM
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Hey all, she showed me a dress she wanted so I think we are good. She didn’t want to buy from Poshmark for whatever reason (all my other girls did). I really hope she gets a size that fits. She bought two dresses that don’t fit her and this is the third one. I told her to make sure to measure her body and look at the size charts because the dresses tend to run small but she kept saying she didn’t have any measuring tape.....lol it costs like $1 at the store. At this point, if she gets it and it fits, great. If not, then I think she doesn’t care much to be in the party. I’m not going to stress so much over it. It’s up to her.
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Bridesmaid still hasn’t gotten her dress

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