Hi all,
First time poster. I tried scouring the internet for advice on a situation similar to mine, but I came up short. Posting because I am getting cold feet from a bridesmaid.
I asked my friend to be a bridesmaid in the beginning of the year for our December wedding. Shortly after, she revealed she was pregnant and would be due in the summer so she wouldn't be able to make the bachelorette. No problem - I completely understood. Between having a new baby, potential post partum, and breastfeeding, I had no issue at all with this and completely understood where she was coming from.
Then, as the summer rolled along, she began dropping hints that she wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. The first was through a thank you note for her baby shower with "I hope we will be able to make your wedding!". The latter was through a reply when I sent her the hotel block to which she said "it looks like they have a good cancellation policy." At first, I felt very in my head, thinking that I was being too cynical in assuming she was dropping a hint. Then, when I directly asked her if this what was going on, she stated "We aren't sure yet." My frustration was in that she wouldn't tell me this directly. I understand if travelling was too much 6 months after having her baby and have no qualms with it, but I would have preferred her to have this conversation with me directly instead of subtly dropping hints. This has become increasingly frustrating as I have already spent nearly hundreds of dollars on her and her husband between various things associated with the weddings/bridesmaids that isn't refundable.
To add salt to the wound, she recently messaged me asking how wedding planning was going and asked me if she was a bridesmaid.
I just want clarity with my friend. At the end of the day, if she can't make it, I completely understand, especially with everything on her plate, but I feel like I am being toyed with. So, wedding wire, am I the asshole?
