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Bridesmaid won't come to bachelorette w/out her guy

Alicia, on February 23, 2015 at 3:45 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 33

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I'm really bummed and upset. I live in MD, my BFF is in New Orleans. She wouldn't be able to come to MD for both occasions, so I thought it be great to have the party in NOLA, esp since my other bridesmaid is moving to Georgia and would meet us there. I email BFF to share the happy news and she says "So what will this party consist of? You know I don’t really go out without my man…… " I tell her "Bourbon, fun" and ask her not even for my bachelorette party? and she says "Nah…I don’t want him going out without me." and she adds that she's funny about the subject since her and her ex split up. She cheated on him! I'm so upset that she feels she can't keep herself together for one night to come out and celebrate with me. Then she mentions how they are going to Vegas for his birthday a couple months before the wedding. Sorry, but I don't want him at my bachelorette party.

Am I right to be upset about this? Or am I missing something and should be understanding?

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33 Comments

Latest activity by Marina, on February 23, 2015 at 7:00 PM

Rachel DellaPorte · on February 23, 2015 at 3:49 PM
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Honestly, it would hurt my feelings.
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Master October 2015
Mrs. Hunnibear · on February 23, 2015 at 3:51 PM
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I wouldn't be understanding. She's a grown ass woman and this isn't high school. SMH I would be hurt too if she couldn't take one night for me.
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VIP July 2015
Alyssa · on February 23, 2015 at 3:51 PM
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She needs to get over this and leave the man at home.
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Devoted August 2015
Laker0107 · on February 23, 2015 at 3:53 PM
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Heck no, I would NOT allow her to bring him. If she can't come without him then you can have a good time without her. I would be so upset too!
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Master October 2015
Angel_D · on February 23, 2015 at 3:53 PM
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Yes you're right to be upset, sorry but she sounds like she has issues. smh
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Master October 2016
Ally · on February 23, 2015 at 3:54 PM
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What?? I've been to club/bars with girlfriends without my SO. it's really not that hard.
No, I would not allow him to come. I'd be hurt too, definitely.. :/ That's ridiculous.
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Super July 2015
Mrs. · on February 23, 2015 at 3:56 PM
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Whoa. I'd be super upset! What a stupid reason.
She can't trust herself to go out and have a fun time without possibly cheating? I give that relationship a few more months tops.
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Master October 2015
Pancakes · on February 23, 2015 at 3:56 PM
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That sucks you changed your party to accommodate HER and she is ditching because she can't manage to spend a couple hours without her boyfriend. That's scary. And changing the state for you was a HUGE deal! I think you are right. Sorry she is being like this :/ Guess she won't be coming.
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Master June 2015
AthenaKay · on February 23, 2015 at 3:57 PM
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She obviously has trust issues with herself and with her man. She needs to grow up.
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Master July 2016
Chantel · on February 23, 2015 at 3:58 PM
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That's ridiculous. Just because you're with someone it doesn't mean you go everywhere with them. Where's the trust? I'd be annoyed.
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Celia Milton · on February 23, 2015 at 3:59 PM
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Then she doesn't come. Problem solved.
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Master June 2015
Lori · on February 23, 2015 at 3:59 PM
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Wow that's bad. To NEVER go out without your SO? Ugh. I know people who prefer not to go out without their partner, but that doesn't mean they NEVER do it, especially for something like a bachelorette party.

I'm sorry.
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Master May 2016
Jessica · on February 23, 2015 at 3:59 PM
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Wow I would definintely be upset. it's impossible to be with her man 24/7.
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Master June 2015
Sara · on February 23, 2015 at 4:00 PM
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You're not wrong to not want her man tagging along for your night out. Definitely make it clear that he is not invited. But I kinda get what she's saying. If she doesn't trust herself to behave during a girl's night out, then she's right to stay away and protect her relationship. But that sucks that in punishing herself, she's punishing you too. I would be hurt too, but I would try to just let it go and not guilt her about it. Maybe you can do lunch or a manicure with her the next day.
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Master July 2015
Nikki · on February 23, 2015 at 4:00 PM
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Ugh I can't deal with girls like that. I would be upset too and tell her hell no he can't come sorry you will be missing out on wedding festivities but my bachlorette party is just for the girls. I have never understood girls that act like they can't breath without their man.
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Super April 2015
SpringBride15 · on February 23, 2015 at 4:03 PM
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That poor man will be miserable.
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Master October 2015
Angel_D · on February 23, 2015 at 4:03 PM
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Let her know OBVIOUSLY its a girls-only party, would her boyfriend like to be drinking out of penis-shaped straws ??haha
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Master September 2015
MrsPope · on February 23, 2015 at 4:04 PM
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That is nuts!! I would be hurt also. She needs to grow up and learn he can't go everywhere with her!
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Master October 2015
Monica SC · on February 23, 2015 at 4:06 PM
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I would reiterate that it's girls only and if she cant come out then that's it. That really does suck though.
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Master September 2017
mrsg · on February 23, 2015 at 4:07 PM
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I would be upset. I'm upset for your just reading this, and frankly weirded out by her relationship.
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Bridesmaid won't come to bachelorette w/out her guy

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