Bridesmaids - asking them to do their hair and makeup exactly the same

While I understand liking things to look uniform, I wouldn't make them do their hair and makeup the exact same. Everyone has different comfort levels and may prefer to have their hair and makeup look a certain way. For example, my sister-in-law hardly wears any makeup so for our wedding I believe she wore foundation and a very light eyeshadow and that's it whereas one of my friends went all out with bright red lips and fake eyelashes. I think this is a battle you need to let go.

That is very controlling, yes. They are individual people who should be treated with respect, not Stepford clones.

You better be paying the bill if you are doing this. The better thing to do is skip the uniform look and let them be individuals.

View Quoted Comment Yeah but I don’t like that I’ve been to plenty of weddings where one bridesmaid looked like a hot mess because she tried to out do the others I won’t have that at my wedding especially if I’m going to be paying for a photographer and videographer and I have to look at pictures and videos of a hot mess express

View Quoted Comment And I very much am paying the bill

View Quoted Comment I very much am paying the bill as well as have let them pick their own dress I am asking for a bit of uniformity as to link them to each other and not just look like regular attendees

View Quoted Comment Your attitude is coming off very controlling and I wouldn't be surprised if your girls started backing out as a result.

View Quoted Comment I only have that issue with two of them the other three are just okay with the request I’ve made. So if they drop out that’s fine by me. It’s my wedding my special day and I’m paying for their dress, hair and makeup why shouldn’t I have any say on how I would like them to look?

View Quoted Comment Sounds like you care more about their appearance than you do about them as individuals. While I would do as the bride asked that doesn't mean I would like it or even be comfortable. But if you are okay with possibly losing friendships over this demand that's your choice.

View Quoted Comment Never said I care more about their appearance then the individual but it is my day and these are my sisters they should be more than okay with what I’m asking them for because I’ve done the same for them at their wedding.

View Quoted Comment Your comments indicate that you care more about their appearance than anything else. While they are your sisters and this is your wedding, you should want them to still be comfortable. But it seems like you've made up your mind so not sure why you even asked anyone's opinion.

View Quoted Comment So you are saying I should just let them wear whatever they want do their hair however they want and makeup how ever they want even though they have the tendency to want to outdo even the bride? Interesting

I asked for an opinion to see how other brides have felt about this in their day. I have gotten about a fifty fifty response. All of my female coworkers think I’m actually in the right so it’s very surprising to me to see these types of comments. But on that note I actually have asked them before if theyd be okay with everything I asked from them before asking them to be my bridesmaid as well as telling them before hand that I want them to look exactly the same. I’m three months into planning and now they want to change their minds and put input into their attire when they agreed to this before agreeing?

Thank you guys for your help! I have my heart set on this for my special day and they have agreed to it before agreeing to be my bridesmaid. If they want out there welcome to attend the wedding as just a guest.

View Quoted Comment From my experience, I think it is better to make suggestions rather than insist on the exact same look. For example, I asked my girls not to do their makeup or nails incredibly dark and all of them were fine with this. I also picked the same dress for all the girls and that was a nightmare. My sister decided a week before the wedding that she had to have a different dress because she wasn't comfortable in the one I selected even though she said she was. She was MOH so I was fine with her wearing a slightly different dress as long as it was the same color and length as the other girls. If I could do it again I would have just had them pick their own style in the same color and length. My advice would be rather than making them have the exact same hair or makeup maybe say I'd like updos and let them decide the style of their updo. This gives you some control while still allowing them to have some control as well. As for makeup maybe look at ideas together. I know for our wedding my makeup artist was able to give suggestions as to what would look good on each girl and with the dress color that was selected. If you are really worried about their makeup talk to the makeup artist about your concerns. I can't imagine that a makeup artist would allow a bridesmaid to outshine the bride.

Ooof. I'm getting the distinct impression you are wanting people to tell you they agree with you, so I am not sure what you're looking for with this post.

Quite frankly, I find your responses and attitude controlling. Yes it's your day, and yes your girls should loom cohesive if you want them to, but this whole thing is over the top in my opinion (as a bride).

View Quoted Comment That’s what I have done I gave them five different options of both hair and makeup and told them as long as it looks something like this idc just send me what you want to do so I can have it in my notes for the hair and makeup artist and they changed their minds. I asked for updos and light makeup and my two sisters who are my MOH want to do hair down dark makeup red lips. I don’t want that at all

I’m paying for mine & 2 out of 3 bridesmaids to have their hair & makeup done. However, just because I’m paying for it doesn’t mean I’m going to tell them how I want it to look. I want them to feel & look their absolute best. For me, it’s just what they’re most comfortable in not what I think they should be in or how I think they should wear their hair & makeup.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for your opinion but I’ve asked them to look the same until my videographer and photographer leave and then they can do as they please it’ll just be a couple hours and then they can do as they please

View Quoted Comment I can understand not wanting red lips as that is rather bright, but not sure what's wrong with them wearing their hair down. I know I prefer my hair down in photos.

View Quoted Comment I want my hair down and just asked that they do it up so that way it might not look the same as mine. Maybe I am being to controlling. Maybe you guys can help me out some more than. I apologize that I am coming off controlling but I just want it to be perfect and I’m scared I’m gonna look back and it won’t be.