Bridesmaids Fighting

Ok so you did the right thing as far as the dress, but the shoes not so much. If you want them in specific shoes with a special order color, you should be paying for them. As for the fighting, tell them to grow up, sort it out amongst themselves and leave you out of it

I disagree with those saying that her requesting a specific shoe color is ridiculous - it's not. As someone who asked my bridesmaids to wear a very specific, sunflower yellow shoe that "makes" the outfit, I understand OP probably has a vision she wants executed.

That being said, OP, you typically pay for anything you "require" your bridesmaids to wear other than their dress. I paid for the shoes, necklaces, sash belts, etc. It may save you some hassle and bickering if you went and paid for the remaining shoes needing to be bought.

Would love to see the outfit you have in mind with the orange shoes, I bet it's super pretty

Everyone in the bridal party agreed last year that the dyeable shoes were fine. I have offered to cover any request to redye them to black after the wedding. It's not an unreasonable request to wear a certain color when they were consulted and all agreed beforehand.

Also, they were advised to have the shoes shipped undyed so they could check size and comfort before dying made them unreturnable, because I know 'feet are weird', and I'm covering the return shipping to have them dyed.

It is rude to require a very specific shoe (especially orange) and not pay for it. I side-eyed the bride of a wedding I was in because she required us to wear authentic cowboy boots ($$&dollar. They are now gathering dust in my closet.

Just want to say @Kelsey, that is SO cute!!

I can't tell you what theirs look like, but here are my shoes.

Yes, the orange is a pop of color, the dresses are steel grey.

No, the dresses aren't short, they are long. As the girls walk the orange would be a flash of color but standing still the shoes will most likely be hidden. The photos I want taken are like the groomsmen pulling up their pant legs to flash bright socks; we'll all pull up our dress hems to flash our bright shoes. You can't see the groomsmens' socks until they walk, sit, or show them on purpose.

None of the bridesmaids know each other which is part of the problem; one is a friend of his, one is a friend of mine, one is his sister and one is my sister. It's his friend and my friend that are fighting, the oldest and youngest. My friend, and MOH, is trying to plan something low-key and mellow that I'll enjoy and his friend is wanting to plan a once-in-a-lifetime experience that I haven't done before, if I understand the dispute well enough.

There's also resentment because my MOH suffers from MS and has had to back out of the few gatherings we have had because of it and her father passed away earlier this year and she's been gone across the country for a few months taking care of her mom. I don't begrudge her this at all and have tried to be nothing but supportive but the other girls feel like she's just coming on "as the fun starts". I've attempted to explain but I don't think it has helped.

I have to say that a post, with a topic about procrastinating and arguing bridesmaids, being turned into a rant about shoes is not helpful to anyone else experiencing a similar bridesmaid concern that could have shared their situation. You would have thought I asked the girls to dye their hair for all the fuss being made about it.

To clarify I haven't forced or demanded anything whatsoever. The dress and shoes were discussed with each girl prior to the decision being made. The girls might actually WANT me to demand something because to date I haven't required anything of them except that they purchase the dress and shoes. I especially didn't ask for anything I wasn't willing to pitch in financially for in one form or another and each girl as specifically refused. (The option to dye the shoes to black after the wedding hasn't been brought up yet but it won't be an issue if it does either.)

Everyone is getting all up in arms about an insignificant part of the actual problem, which was their procrastination in getting it done when they've had over a year. And yes, both I and my mother have been touching base with them frequently about both their dresses and shoes, so they've had gentle (read gentle) reminders.

And with that I guess you'll just have to wait for the pro pics in my BAM to understand my vision.

OP - sorry you're dealing with this. It's annoying when adults can't work this stuff out for themselves. It sounds like you took everything into consideration before you set your colors and if the girls agreed, then they should go ahead as planned.

PS. Like your colors.

Before assuming OP was being unreasonable did anyone ask if she discussed the dress and shoes ahead of time? Maybe she did and it was agreed upon and NOW they are not following thru. I wouldn't be thrilled with the idea of orange shoes but if that's what the bride wants that is what I would get. Esp if I agreed to stand beside her on the biggest day of her life.

ETA: OP I see you did discuss, which was my assumption, and I'm so sorry they are not completing their "tasks". I'm 29 days out and I reminded my girls to steam their dresses and you would think I asked them to cut their arms off. I'm over it!

OP I totally get the vision. I had a friend do a similar color scheme years ago and it was beautiful.

In regards to the dresses, two of my maids swore they paid the rush fee for Azazie and their dresses still wouldn't come on time. Since they're adults, I didn't bother to check behind them to see if they were telling the truth. I offered up another website (jjshouse) for them to purchase and they did so right away. Their dresses will arrive in time and they can go get alterations made if necessary. So that may be another option. JJsHouse had my color, so it worked out well.

In regards to the shoes, you may have to foot the bill upfront for the procrastinators and have them pay you back later- if they must. Only because this was discussed before making final decisions. If you really want them, you'll have to consider this route. You may or MAY NOT get your money back, but you'll have your orange shoes!

OP, did you hide and then re-do this thread? I swear I answered this before. Either that or WW is glitchy today. If you're requiring specific shoes, you'll need to cover them.

Wait. Your MOH has MS? How is her health? Is she OK?

I haven't read most of this BUT we are doing navy and orange. We have navy dresses and i wanted orange shoes SO bad but can't find them anywhere! So we settled for nude

MOH is okay but has flair ups that are unexpected and then she gets infusions to get them under control. She had a flair up the morning we went dress shopping and I had to tell her to stay home because she was gonna drag herself to the shop anyway. I made sure to take loads of pictures and brought them over to her house with bagels and cream cheese. ??

My bridesmaid and maid of honor only work threw me not with each other. As far as they need to know is that their both standing next to me on the big day. If they become friends then that is better then enemies. But as of right now they don't have communication with each other. The both agreed on dresses threw me and sent ideas to me and I passed them along. I ended up picking a dress and they both loved it. So that's the one were going with. All online shopping. I kept my prices very low because I'm a person who dosent expect my bridesmaids to spend $200 on a dress they will only wear once. This one is one they can wear again like I wanted. P.s. I ended up ordering my girls dresses for them because they were $25 each.

I picked my girls shoes out myself and color. But my girls shoes were silver and I also picked a shoe that was on sale so it was inexpensive and they could possibly reuse them in the future.

Orange shoes?? Jesus. That's just mean!

This is why bridal parties are not worth the drama

Everyone was bridesmaid fighting...

Those shoes were fug and frightening...

So you do sound relatively reasonable in what you've asked and how you're treating your friends. I'm sorry they are arguing. I can't relate, as mine didn't much talk to each other.

Back to the shoes for a sec... You realize that dyed shoes often bleed? If the grass is wet or it rains, you'll have orange dye every where. Feet sweat? Orange dye everywhere. Once they're black? Holy crap, black dye everywhere! Please keep that in mind. Especially as the shoes aren't being seen, and they're really just a prop for pictures, your request is a bit ridiculous.

You should pay for all props for photos.