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Savvy December 2021

Bridesmaids Meet-and-greet Today!

Carla, on February 27, 2021 at 11:20 AM Posted in Parties and Events 0 35

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Today is my 1st meeting with my bridesmaids. I am taking them out to a nice deli my treat #HealthieEating, and I have reserved one side just for us. #SocialDistancing. I have little pamplets put together with detailed expectations on a bridesmaids duties that I printed offline. We will exchange contact info amongst everyone and deligate assignments for each of the ladies to help with certain areas of the wedding. I will provide them with my schedule for the month of march, so lets say they are helping with cake ideas they submit ideas and once I o.k. the design they will locate several bakers that can make it and schedule my cake tasting. I will create an online calendar that I can add all booking too so that they can keep up with all appointments and availability. My question to everyone is, What else Am I fogetting? What else would you suggest I need in my 1st meeting. I have 4 hours to figure it out.

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Latest activity by Sara, on February 27, 2021 at 6:45 PM

VIP June 2019
Hanna · on February 27, 2021 at 11:38 AM
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Wow that sounds super intense! I only assigned duties, tasks, and assignments to my hired vendors, not to my bridesmaids. I personally don't think it's appropriate to be assigning the types of tasks that you're suggesting to bridesmaids (i.e. submitting cake ideas, scheduling tastings, etc). Those are tasks that you pay a wedding planner or coordinator to do, not tasks that you dump on your friends. Good luck!
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Super October 2023
Alyssa · on February 27, 2021 at 11:39 AM
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Wow that's a lot of responsibility for them. I thought the only thing bridesmaids did was give you support, wear the dress, and show up. 🤦
4 hours sounds plenty to have them meet eachother
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Expert November 2021
Sara · on February 27, 2021 at 11:48 AM
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IMO sounds like you need to hire a wedding planner. Those are NOT duties that you should be asking your bridesmaids to do. Then again, it's probably a good thing you're having this initial meeting because it will give your bridesmaids a chance to back out once they hear your (unrealistic) expectations. If I were a bridesmaid and the the bride expected me to schedule appointments for her and basically do the job of a vendor, I know I would back out for sure
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Expert November 2021
Sara · on February 27, 2021 at 11:50 AM
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You are absolutely correct. The 'job' of a bridesmaid is to provide support to the bride the day of the wedding, wear the attire that the bride requests, and show up on time. Everything beyond that (like throwing a bridal shower) is optional.
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Expert July 2021
Lauren · on February 27, 2021 at 11:55 AM
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Although it sounds very organized I think it’s important to remember, it’s your wedding not theirs. These honestly sound like jobs for you and your fiancé. If it’s too much for you, you can find a lot of planner recommendations on the app. It’s great if you have supportive friends that are willing to help, but this sounds like an orientation for a first job rather than a fun meet and greet.
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on February 27, 2021 at 11:55 AM
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My MoH checked in with me on plans and always asked if there was something she could help with, but that was her volunteering because she loved wedding planning. I certainly didn't force it on her.
Can I ask what the duties are in the pamphlets you made? If your friends/family stick by you and do their "duties", I hope you give them outrageously generous gifts.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on February 27, 2021 at 12:20 PM
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Totally agree with everyone- I think you’re going overboard on this. All these things aren’t for your bridesmaids to do & you’re taking the fun out of being your bridesmaid. It’s not up to them to give you ideas on your cake or contact the baker for you. All these things you’re “requiring “ of them is way too much.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on February 27, 2021 at 12:21 PM
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It sounds like you are trying to use your friends as free wedding planners rather than hiring a wedding planner. It isn't up to your bridesmaids to plan your wedding. It is you and your fiance's responsibility, but if you need additional help you should hire a planner.
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Expert October 2016
MaryEllen · on February 27, 2021 at 12:24 PM
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I would be so happy to receive this pamphlet so I could decline the “honor” of being your wedding slave.
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on February 27, 2021 at 12:27 PM
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I was thinking the same thing! Woah.
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Savvy December 2021
Carla · on February 27, 2021 at 12:31 PM
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Well if you come up with something please let me know.
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Savvy December 2021
Carla · on February 27, 2021 at 12:44 PM
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Your are quite right, and we will be making the final decisions. He wants me to plan it the way that I want it and I have a wedding coordinator and thought about a planner to assist. However it is my bridesmaids idea because everyone wants to help with something. Plus its our way of being able to have more bonding time together picking out things ourselfs. Planning has never been a problem for me because I pretty much know what I want already. There opinion is important to me and I dont need that taken away by some wedding planner. I value the opinion of my friends over and above a stranger. Plus weddings are about bonding and coming together. Sorry if you took more from my post then what I posted.
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Expert October 2016
MaryEllen · on February 27, 2021 at 12:45 PM
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Bridesmaid responsibilities are to wear the designated outfit and show up on time. Anything else is a bonus. I would never expect my bridesmaids to act as wedding planners- it is not their wedding. And my wedding was a blast! We had a great time.
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VIP October 2022
Samantha · on February 27, 2021 at 1:00 PM
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Are you a project manager by any chance? This sounds like the way my project manager friends handle any event. It’s great in many ways, everyone knows their roles!
You’ll get a feel at the first meet and greet for your party and if this will mesh with everyone’s style.
For example: I like to feel useful but don’t want too much pressure so if you say “Samantha, can you pick three from this list to take care of” that is exactly what I need. My daughter is a big picture person so I put her in charge of getting a few color palettes together for wedding colors - that is perfect for her. My other daughter - she does not like being told what to do, so I asked her what things she would like to do and she had some good ideas, and because they were hers, she had total buy in and will follow through.
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Savvy December 2021
Carla · on February 27, 2021 at 1:03 PM
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I am glade that you asked without assuming like the others that no absolutely nothing. The duties include, being able to shop (and pay) for bridesmaid Attire, help with bouquets (they want to throw a bouquet party) and helping plan for brides cake (mainly for them because I don't eat cake, Help plan bridal shower, Attend other pre-wedding events. Attend rehearsal dinner, Help with emotional support, Get ready with bride, Be the bride tribe, participate in ceremony, maintain a stress-free send off. That's pretty much it.
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Savvy December 2021
Carla · on February 27, 2021 at 1:05 PM
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The duties include, being able to shop (and pay) for bridesmaid Attire, help with bouquets (they want to throw a bouquet party) and helping plan for brides cake (mainly for them because I don't eat cake, Help plan bridal shower, Attend other pre-wedding events. Attend rehearsal dinner, Help with emotional support, Get ready with bride, Be the bride tribe, participate in ceremony, maintain a stress-free send off. That's pretty much it. It's nothing like an interview thats just your assumption.
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Savvy December 2021
Carla · on February 27, 2021 at 1:08 PM
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I agree! Plus its nothing in there that hasn't already been discussed amongst individuals but not all together.
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Savvy December 2021
Carla · on February 27, 2021 at 1:13 PM
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You dont even read. I stated that I meet with them in 4 hours. Who has a meet and greet for 4 hours. 2 hours max, long enough for them to order, and for those that don't already know each other exchange contact information. Then go over everyones thoughts and suggestions but yes everyone has a job to do.
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Dedicated May 2021
Lindsey · on February 27, 2021 at 1:14 PM
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I think people are off-put by this post because the wording makes things seem like a business meeting with a boss and employees rather than what should be a fun day with the girls to chat about wedding stuff. It’s great to communicate your hopes for your bridal party, but hopefully your wording is just a little off and it’s not as formal and duty like as it sounds, because that definitely doesn’t sound fun for the bridal party.
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VIP January 2020
Vicky · on February 27, 2021 at 1:20 PM
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Yikes. I think you should trash the pamphlets and majorly overhaul your expectations. Also, calling people idiots on here is against the TOS.
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Bridesmaids Meet-and-greet Today!

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