Bridesmaids meeting

If my bridesmaids needed to know something, I sent a group email or text. When I got the chance to hang out with my bridesmaids, we did fun things, because I enjoy them and their company and I never wanted my wedding to feel like work for them.

Rene, cut yourself a break. And them too. Don't overwhelm them with details. If you've picked one style or one color, let them know. I rarely see matching shoes, and if your'e going to require a hair style (which is honestly, a bad idea; do you want to be told how to wear your hair?) you pay for it.

You can't really require them to have assignments. It's great when they want to help, but you haven't hired them.....

Lizzy S thank you so much for your response, everybody else is going inn on me. This is my first time getting married, thank you for your advise I will do just that.

Definitely no meeting here. We attended a bridal expo and everybody met. We made a day of it and discussed random topics. No binders either. I have pintrest boards that they can post to and we have a private facebook group to bounce around ideas.

Lovie L thank you for your response, I will do just that as well.

Also please don't pick their hairstyle. They are adults and should get to choose on their own.

@Lovee - what could their assignments possibly be? Are they your servants?

Don't give them assignments. That's obnoxious. And we're not "going in on you", we're trying to help. This is the first marriage for plenty of brides here.

You are not the leader of a girl glitter army here. Do you make binders for any other group function? No. Stop.

ETA: to say this nicer, think of this as a time to bond with your girls and create positive love memories to cherish. You all get to be young and beautiful together all on the same day. How cool is that?! Please don't make it to a chore.

I think the binder and meeting is a little much but I'm not sure why everyone is hating on choosing a hairstyle. I'm going to but I am paying for it

Spare yourself some friendship drama and keep your bridesmaid expectations minimal. Too much stuff in the media makes it look like weddings need to be big productions for all involved, which is just not the case.

By all means, go to a special lunch or dinner, but don't try to get them to act as pseudo-planners or assistants.

This also all depends on how much you're paying your bridesmaids and if they are also eligible for health care and retirement benefits.

No one does this, and if they do, it usually won't end well. Try a group text or a fb chat to keep your bridesmaids in the loop, but please don't have high expectations or bombard them.

This is my first time getting married too and I would never have bridesmaids meetings or feel the need to give them binder with information. Have a get together. No meetings, no binders, no assignments. They're your friends not your employees.

I think nowadays being that we can communicate so easily, you don't need a binder to accumulate your ideas and present them to your bridesmaids. Honestly, it sounds like it would be more of a waste of time than necessary. I purchased a wedding planning binder, I barely use that thing. Like other people mentioned, consider a private Facebook group, a shared pinterest board, GroupMe Chat, or some variation of that in order to share ideas. I understand wanting to be organized and all that stuff but try to make it fun experience too for your friends.

You're welcome Rene, and try not to take the other comments personally no one is trying to be mean, we just want you to have a great wedding and all your friends by your side at the end. Being around the boards for a while we see stories of "meetings" or girls pissed their BM's aren't living up to their "duties" and people losing friends. Your wedding is one day, friendships hopefully are lifelong. Glad you are listening to some of the advice!

I only gave my maid of honor a mini binder for notes and mini journals for my bridesmaids for notes as well

I've been a BM 4 times and we organized a get together amongst ourselves (left the bride out of it) to discuss shower and bachelorette. The brides themselves either texted/emailed details or invited us to lunch or drinks. For my BMs I plan on giving them a color and style I'm going for but ultimately their hair, makeup, shoes will all be their decision. The dress itself I'll make the final decision but it will be a majority vote. I want them to be comfortable and also stay within a small budget for their spending. I can't see having a list of "must do" for the girls I chose. I'd probably have run the other way if any of them handed me a binder.

In the words of Ron Burgundy...

They first (and only time so far) that my bridesmaids all got together was over brunch. It was just a chance for them to get to know one another. We barely talked wedding that day...we were too busy getting brunch drunk off of mimosas lol.

They next time they'll all be together is next weekend when we go try on dresses.

I sent a couple emails just because I wanted everyone (lol, all 2 of them) to be on the same page and have all the same basic info (and group texts are evil esp when no responses are really needed). So I just sent emails with things like "Dresses must be ordered by X date to be in on time." I sent info like the name of the color and style for the dress, etc. Then I sent an email right before the day with things like the time of the rehearsal, etc. I wouldn't have even needed the emails if it had just been my MOH but my SIL was a BM and she kept flaking on me (I literally only wanted her to order her dress, but it took months to get measurements out of her). I think I sent a total of 3 emails that were about 2 paragraphs each. Only needed that much because my SIL is OOT and we did not talk outside of the emails. So I had to keep her informed somehow and thought it made sense to send MOH the same info while I was at it just so it didn't single SIL out and so I knew they both had everything. Easy, simple, no pressure.