Bridesmaids meeting

Thank you becoming MRS. I'm doing the same thing for as hairstyles. When all your bridesmaids have the same hairstyle it look nice. Would you want, one of your bridesmaids come with a crazy hairstyle, red hair on the day of your wedding. They have people that will do that just because. I'm just saying

What if your bridesmaids have different length or type of hair and don't all look good with the same hairstyle? I let everyone do what they felt comfortable in. I'm also really not sure what would be the issue with someone have red hair on the day of your wedding.

No one cares what the BM's hair looks like. I'm just saying. Plus you should love for friends for their own unique personalities. If you do require a specific hair do you should pay for it.

I have a locked Pinterest board that they were invited to to see/post ideas. I have texted them websites to check out dresses. When I see them we catch up on what I have completed. They (only two of them) have been told a color and length for a dress and to "go for it". They don't even have to wear the same dress. Wear whatever shoes they want, wear their hair however they want. I'm going to pay for hair and makeup because I can get a group deal, but their style is their choice.

Don't create a lot of extra work for yourself (making binders). I don't even use the one I bought for myself. Everything is word/excel documents on a flash drive.

ETA: and we are all nurses and rarely get to pamper ourselves, so the hair and makeup is just a pampering , let's have fun with this thing. Yes, I want things to go the way I plan. But will the world fall apart if they don't? Nope, not in the least. As long as the officiant shows up and we get married, I'm good.

I don't know how many weddings you've been to, Rene, but of all the weddings I've attended, i have *never* seen any of the bridesmaids style their hair in a crazy fashion or dye it an unsightly color simply because they can. The bridesmaids know they're going to be in the professional pictures too - they want to look their best, just like the bride. Granted, they certainly aren't the focus of attention in said pictures, but they still would like the ones shared to their social media pages to be as attractive as possible. At least that seems to be true for most people, and I'm sure you'd agree. If you're worried about your friends dying their hair an unsightly color to ruin your wedding day, you have bigger problems than meetings and binders.

Look at my hair. Ya think I'd want an updo to be in your wedding?

No.

Your friends are not props, they are presumably standing with you because they are there to support you.

They are not your employees. You do not need a meeting. I would LAUGH if my friend gave me a binder! I could see a lunch or something, so they could get to know each other. I also made a private fb group for my BM so I could share things with them and they could communicate. About 3 weeks before the wedding, I sent a long email detailing the day's timeline and when they needed to be there, and what nail polish (natural colors) and jewelry I wanted them to wear (silver or pearls, no statement pieces). That's normal. But remember, these are your FRIENDS.

HI Rene, I think you should do what you feel is comfortable for you. If you're an organized kind of person, then make a binder. The girls you've asked to be your bridesmaids, all know you and will understand. I think having a binder with the ideas you've chosen for your girls is a good idea. However, I personally am not that organized. Good luck!

Katy, way to jump on the "you do you" wagon. You are in it with very few others. Lurk more, read more comments. Then you'll realize why what you just told OP to do is a very bad idea.

As someone who dyes my hair frequently and usually pretty "different" colors. If someone told me I HAD to have my hair a certain way I would be pretty offended. I know it's your day but I feel super uncomfortable with updo's so if that was your style I would be super salty. I want to be sure that my bridesmaids feel beautiful as well, they're my best friends and they deserve to feel their best. Your bridesmaids are adults and if you ask them not to do something it should only be asking. I would never want to be in someones wedding who tells me exactly what to do, how to do it, when to do it, but that's just me.

But, this is your wedding and you know your friends. If they're okay with being told each of those things then more power to you.

Well binders, meetings and same hair dos is not a wedding I've ever been a part of. Seems way too formal and business like, instead of a fun time with your girl friends to help you plan your wedding day.

Another thought occurred to me. If any of your bridesmaids are known to dye their hair an untraditional color and you definitely don't want that for your wedding, then why would you ask them to be in it in the first place. You are asking (demanding?) they change the essence of their uniqueness to suit you and your "vision". If it were me, I'd have to decline.

Matching hair styles make them look like Stepford bridesmaids. In all honesty when I see all the maids coming down the aisle with the same hairstyle my first thought is someone was a bridezilla.

Rene, it totally depends on your friends and you how you want to handle this. My BMs have 1 email chain with me (for wedding details), and 1 without me (shower and bachelorette ideas). The girls I chose for my BMs are my sister and 3 girls I have known since 9th grade. My girls all have different body shapes, different hair types, different skin tones... I am just asking them all to wear a color that will look great on all of them. If one of them shows up with red hair or having just shaved her head (both have happened), I'll tell her it looks awesome. I picked my girls because we've been friends for 15 years... I don't care what they look like in photos. Their place next to me is a reflection of 15 years of friendship, the joys and losses we've all been through together, the role they have played in my life. They aren't there so I can have pictures that look a certain way. I know my wedding won't be featured on some wedding blog, but I don't really care.

If binders and meetings and coordinating hair styles is representative of you and your girls and your relationships with them, great! Don't let anyone here tell you not to do this! You do you!

The information I shared with my girls was: date, venue, ideas for outfits (dress, shoes, etc), lodging information, timeline for planning. They got the story of how FH proposed and the epic tale of why I don't have my original ring.

All I asked them to do was: give me feedback on clothing options, get psyched, and be sure to book hotels early.

I feel that everyone's wedding day is their own special day. And the friends that are asked to be a part of it will feel honored to be a part of it. I for for one want everything to be easy and as inexpensive as possible for my girls. After all I'm the one getting married and don't agree with the brides that make it difficult for their bridesmaids. But I hold no judgment towards the brides that want specific things for their wedding. And I don't think it's fair to jump all over someone else's ideas. We all want the same thing here... a perfect wedding day. In conclusion, I just meant that she should do what she feels is comfortable for her.

I don't care about having a perfect wedding today because I recognize there's no such thing as perfect. All that I really care about is being able to sign the marriage license with my husband. And bridesmaids' hairstyles do not factor into that.

No one is jumping all over her ideas. It is simply giving advice from experience and letting someone know how others may feel when on the receiving end of a bad idea. But hey, do you girl.

I know that I'm late to this thread, but you guys are taking her question way out of proportion. Instead of answering her question or just moving on, y'all are bickering over a binder and a meeting. Have you guys even considered that out of everyone in this thread, Rene knows her bridesmaids the best, and vice versa? What if the bridesmaids and Rene like binders because it makes them feel organized? What if they want a binder to consolidate their ideas outside of Facebook or GroupMe so that they can look back on their clipped pictures and scribbles like it's a special type of scrapebook? What she's doing is not a big deal or offensive. Chill.

Hello I am with you with the meeting thing I want my wedding to be so beautiful and nice. With that being said I was going to have a meeting with them “FACE TO FACE” and tell them what’s they have to pay for, deadline for them to have there dresses, dates for fitting etc ... the small things matter and the binder I wasn’t gonna do but I was going to give them a paper with everything we talked about and dates and times on there.

The comments on this are disgusting. Lift each other up! Don't knock each other down! I know, old thread but reading it is making me sick! If you have nothing nice or helpful to add, simply keep it to yourself.