Bridesmaids proposals kind of

I would maybe just have a nice dinner with them or go on the bachelorette trip with them! Asking them to wear a specific color might just end up stressing them out haha. I'd try to get at least one picture with them as well on the wedding day.

Inviting them to dinner to celebrate your friendship is a lovely idea. But since you aren't actually asking them to be bridesmaids I wouldn't ask them to wear a specific color. That will just be confusing and inconvenient for them. It's completely fine not to have a bridal party but just stick to that decision instead of trying to do some halfway thing. They will be happy to come as guests with no obligations.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree with this!

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Just celebrate your friendship without making it about “this could have been”. Don’t ask them to wear specific colors unless you plan to pay for them. Being a guest is a huge honor that gets forgotten more often than not.

So the problem with having a dinner is we are all spread out and don’t get all together often. I am curious though why asking them to wear a specific color would be stressful though.

View Quoted Comment It’s not about “what could have been” and more I want them to be recognized as women that I find important in my life and that have helped me through this process. Also I want to recognize them as being not just an average guest. I want them to be a Bridesmaid without standing next to me on the day if that makes sense.

View Quoted Comment Send a card stating those sentiments. If you want them to stand apart from the other guests, why do you not want bridesmaids? That would be easiest and you don’t need to create custom spotlight roles for them in that case.

View Quoted Comment We aren’t having a bridal party for multiple reasons. One of which is we would like to focus on our family becoming “one” and my fiancé can’t think of anyone he would want to stand with him. I know that would be the easiest thing to do honestly lol I would like to do more than send a card lol I plan on having them get ready with me. I figured a color would be the next easiest way to identify the “bridal party”.

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While I get where you're coming from, why not just actually consider them bridesmaids but don't have them stand up with you? Everything you're saying you want them to take part in is what a bridesmaid would do, you're just not giving them an official "title".

View Quoted Comment Because I’m dumb and definitely thought bridesmaids meant they had to stand up with us lmao 🤣

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Lol we all definitely over think stuff when it comes to planning! There are people who have full bridal parties that don't stand up with them. I think with what you're wanting them to do with you having them be labeled as bridesmaids but not having them stand with you guys or walk down the aisle might be perfect! They kind of have the best of both worlds that way, honestly. They get to spend time with you and help you get ready on your big day, but they also get to watch your ceremony and relax like the other guests.

View Quoted Comment Yes! This is perfect lmao thanks! Bridesmaids they are! Lol 😂


I like can’t even tell you how many things I’ve over thought and had my fiancé or matron of honor be like “there is a waaaayyyy easier way to do this” lmao 🤣 thank you

Also sides don’t have to be even

Sides don’t have to be even. I would just reserve a front row spot for your guests of honour. Maybe give them a corsage for fun?

Aww this sounds super sweet maybe instead of having them wear a specific color (that seems stressful to me I know I d find a dress I liked in every color but the one I needed ha!) get them a flower or something symbolic to wear on the wedding day. I d also write them each a little note to them know how much their friendship means to you. Happy planning!

Omg honestly I’ve been going through the same thought process as you. I need to put my overthinking to rest with this and move on! Ugh. I’m going to officially let my girls know that they’re bridesmaids and have them pick from a color scheme (still gotta work through that).
Thanks for sharing your situation because it’s helped me work through mine!