Bridesmaids shoes, who pays?

Every wedding I've been in I was told what dress and what shoes to buy. I had never heard of the bride paying, so I'm always surprised to see that's the general answer. When I agree to be a bridesmaid, I think ok there goes shoes and a dress I'll never wear again. So I really don't understand it. That being said, all the weddings were family members and now they are my bridesmaids and will do the same for me.

I am always surprised with "the bride pays" mentality too -- I've been expected to buy dress and shoes for weddings I've been in and have always mentally been prepared for that expense. Would it be nice if the bride paid? OF COURSE. But in my experience that has never been a given.

If you're asking them to wear a specific shoe or are requesting an odd color (meaning any color outside of black, silver, nude), I would pay for their shoes. I told mine they can wear any style of shoe in silver or gray.

If you want to make that part of your gift to them for being a bridesmaid then you would pay. But otherwise, any wedding I have ever been in, I paid for my own dress and shoes. And besides, red shoes can definitely be worn again!

@cathy yes I understand I have 4 stars, but I haven't seen any threads on shoes. I just wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was considering they pay for their own dresses no matter what the bride chooses, as long as they're in the budget of the bridesmaids. I didn't know if the same etiquette could be applied to the shoes the bride chooses.

I like the idea that if you want to gift them that would be nice. The only wedding the bride requested matching shoes was 2006. I paid for them. I think people are

More accustomed to their bridesmaids being comfy in shoes they pick or already own.

Red shoes aren't unusual, so I don't necessarily think you need to pay. It would be different if you were asking them to purchase a specific, expensive pair of red shoes, but since you're just telling them the color, each girl can pick out something in her budget and spend as much or as little as she wants. I think you're fine not paying. (Plus I love red shoes, so I'd be happy to buy them!)

I think it would make a nice bridesmaid gift for them, but I'm in the camp that's never heard of a bride paying for the bridesmaid's dresses or shoes. I always assumed that since I agreed to be in their wedding I'll be paying for a dress and shoes to not wear again, lol.

Yea I disagree that the bride pays for it. Everytime I've been in a wedding party I would make sure I budget for the dress, shoes, hair, and makeup. I didn't even hear about 'brides paying' till this forum. The only items I will be paying for are the flowers and the gifts. I'm letting them decide if they want to do hair and makeup since I don't really care if they do it. All 5 of my bridesmaids have asked what shoes or hairstyles I would want them in. It's a pretty common assumption that they would be paying for those things so they were surprised I didn't care.

I know the generally accepted rule here on WW is that the bride pays if it's an odd color, but I always expect to buy a dress and shoes when I agree to be a BM.

I think bc you're letting them wear any black dress they want, it's not unreasonable to request a shoe color. (If you're asking for a specific red shoe, different story.)

You could talk your ladies and see how everyone feels about red shoes- if they object or seem to really have a problem with it, you could offer to buy them for everyone.

I've haven't been in a wedding as an adult, I was a flower girl a couple of times when I was younger. So I'm very new to the whole wedding planning and etiquette thing. I appreciate all your help!

I would buy the shoes honestly. If the bride requires a certain shoe or professional hair/makeup to fit a certain vision for the day, the cost shouldn't be incurred by the bridesmaids.

I love red shoes. I have two pairs.

I don't think it's bad to ask for red shoes - as long as it's not a specific one. Sure, you could buy it for them, but I don't think it's that big of a deal to ask them.

I paid for my girls' shoes because the color I wanted was a bit difficult to find, and I wasn't sure they'd wear the shoes again.

Traditionally, bridesmaids pay for the dress and accessories, including the shoes. But nowadays brides are picking up the cost of shoes and accessories if they require something specific. Personally, I think the bride should pay for the BP attire.

I think as long as you're letting them wear any red dress shoe they already own or want to buy, then it's okay to request red shoes. Red is actually a very easy shoe color to find and I own several pairs of red shoes. I actually get a ton of milage out of red heels, whereas the pair of silver shoes I had to buy for a friend's wedding haven't been touched since.

Yes you pay for them

I'm asking mine to wear cowboy boots. They knew that when I asked them to be in it, and none of them have said anything about it being a problem. I did give them a link to a cheap pair from Target, so they had a cheap option if they didn't want to invest a whole lot.

I'm sorry but they're adults they know what comes with being a bridesmaid. I've never been in a wedding where the bride bought my shoes. They can buy them.

You require a specific shoe, you pay.

Eta- saying please find any red shoe that makes you comfortable is ok. I asked my girls wear any nude or gold sandal or shoe.

We went shoe shopping today. I gave them free range of dresses but told them specific shoes. My bridesmaids didnt expect for me to pay for them.