Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids don't help with planning the wedding. I see many posts like yours and I'm not sure where the idea that bridesmaids text the bride asking what they can help with or bridesmaids coming over to do crafts comes from but it's not what bridesmaids normally do. So it is normal that they are just helping with the shower, and maybe a bachelorette party too. I'm sure they'll be really supportive the day of and you'll be glad to have them by your side.

There’s probably 1000+ posts about this subject here on WW so you’re not alone. I think this stems from having your expectations set too high. Your bridesmaids aren’t responsible for planning your wedding or checking in on your progress. Planning is up to you and your FS.

I have 9 bridesmaids (including my MOH). 6 out of the 9 attending my bachelorette, my MOH did most the planning. 3/9 attended my shower, my mom did 100% of the planning for that. Other than that, they bought their dresses & arranged to get to the wedding. That's it. That's all I've done when I've been a bridesmaid.

The only thing they're required to do is buy the correct dress and show up on your big day, so don't feel too discouraged

Not all bridesmaids want to be super involved or have the time. But I understanding wanting to share in this exciting journey with your girls! If there are projects you'd love help with or something you'd like their input in, reach out and see how it goes. They may not even know you want them more involved! If they just don't bite onto your invites, try not to let it get you down, you still chose them because of your great friendships and this shouldn't change that. Enjoy your planning!

My bridesmaids are very hands off which is fine by me. I didn't ask them so that they'd help, I've been telling the that the most important thing to me is that they find a dress they feel pretty in and that they're at the wedding.

My bridesmaids helped my mom plan the shower, and planned my bachelorette party completely. I didn't have to do anything for either of those and it allowed me more time to focus on everything else for the wedding.

There wasn't much that they could help me with because I didn't do a lot of DIY projects that required multiple people.

With that being said, I'd say my MOH/Sister and best friend were my main go-to with everything in regards to opinions, going with me to my trial, and going to try on dresses. Honestly having them made the process great and I consider myself extremely spoiled.

Try not to get too discouraged. Try reaching out to them because it's possible that they may not know what to say or help with!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I think I just see what they did for others and I feel I deserve it too. My fiancé and I are long distance so I think that’s why I overthink it!

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In my opinion, you do! I also had what people say are "high expectations" because I am very involved in the 2 weddings that I'm standing up in next year myself, so I wanted that support too. I would just let them know that you would like some help and put some feelers out there Happy planning!

View Quoted Comment I really involve myself as well and I’ve done research about it thinking maybe I “overdid” it myself but I did everything I was supposed to do. So when I read that I have high expectations or that they aren’t supposed to help or check in on me, it’s so weird. Bridesmaids are chosen for a reason. If they weren’t supposed to do anything more then they’d just be a guest because that’s the same amount of support lol

View Quoted Comment I feel the EXACT same way as you! I hope it gets better! If you need a virtual bridesmaid, I can do that for you 😂

View Quoted Comment LOL thanks girl 🙏🏼 I’m just glad it’s not only me that feels this way. It makes me feel better