Bridesmaids

If they are being rude and not responding at all, I would make a phone call to each one individually. That leaves very little wiggle room for them to be evasive. If they dont answer then they will be responsible for their own hair. You shouldn't have to chase grown women down to accomplish what they're all supposed to want for you. A happy, carefree day.

I can see your stress with this, because it's coming up and you just want to know. I would also do as pp said and give them a call.

View Quoted Comment I agree call them. If they won’t give u a straight answer then let them know the hairstylist won’t be reserved for them. I can’t believe how inconsiderate some people can be.

I would be super annoyed as a BM. Just tell me where I need to be and when. I am capable of getting my dress altered if needed and you don't need to be involved in that. Regardless of who's paying, you don't need to know what they're asking the stylist to do with their hair. They are also not required to attend pre-wedding parties - nice if they can, but not worth getting worked up about if they cant. Just give them the time and place and try to calm down.

Keep in mind 3 showers is a lot. They normally only go to 1, and it's not technically required. And is it their choice to get their hair done? If it's yours then you are responsible for the full cost, not half. If it's their idea, then they are being very rude by ignoring you. We brides tend to forget that it's not like the movies, they don't have to be available all the time and answer us right away. They are only required to show up at the wedding with their dress on, that's it. You said you think you are annoying them, it's possible it's true. I noticed I was doing the same thing to my ladies, so I backed way off. Alterations add a lot of money on to the dress cost for them. They aren't really required to pay for alterations to their dress if it fits well enough. Are you sure they aren't strained financially and trying to avoid saying that out of embarrassment?

I'm definitely not trying to judge you, because I struggled at the beginning until I realized what I had always envisioned for my bridal party and wedding wasn't actually normal. I was never rude to them, I wasn't overly demanding, but I internally expected more than I got. I always pictured a girl's trip to Vegas for my Bachelorette party, but it looks like I'm not having a Bach party at all. They are all financially strained, so even buying their attire is a lot. I'll be paying for those, also. I guess I didn't realize how much I was writing them, and bouncing ideas off them, etc. They never complained but reality just smacked me in the face one day and I realized my mistake. I know your wedding is coming up soon, so you are worried about the day of events, makes sense. Maybe call them all individually and apologize for being overly involved and explain that you are just trying to ensure that everyone is good to go for the day of timeline.

View Quoted Comment I think it is just annoying because a family member of mine offered to do their alterations for a very low price ($20). I never required them or asked them to go to any of the showers, I told them it’d Be nice if they could make it to just one of them.

It might be difficult to do, but I would adjust your expectations of your bridal party. They sound financially strapped and/or there may be other things going on in their life. If they haven't been in a wedding before they may not have realized some of the expenses of getting dresses and alterations. Even if that isn't true, nobody is going to care about your wedding as much as you do. They need to show up to the ceremony in the dresses agreed upon - all the extra parties and "tasks" that people think bridesmaids do are simply optional. I would try your best to take a deep breath and let go of what you cannot control... they are adults and if they can't get it together to come to the wedding in the appropriate attire, they can be seated with the guests.

One thing I've learned from here is nobody will be as excited for you wedding as you are. Micromanaging adults is going to cause both you and your BMs to be annoyed with and possibly resent one another. With the wedding so close, I'd just let them be. They'll show up on the day-of in their BM dress, but if they don't they'll have to attend as guests instead

I personally think you should call them and just check in and make sure everyone is on the same page. i don’t think it’s fair to say that if they don’t show up correctly then that’s when you decide that they’re just a guest, those are extra bouquets you possibly paid for and extra stuff for them to just not be a part of the wedding? no that’s not cool on their part. i don’t think it’s too much to ask for them to respond saying “got it” or “sounds good”
takes two seconds. i’d be an upset bride too
especially with so little time until the wedding.

I am so sorry you're going through that with your bridesmaids. That's really awful of them to be ignoring your texts, I would definitely call them and keep calling them until they answer. At this point you'll need to pester them until they answer you, it's too close to your wedding for them to ignore you.