Bridesmaids

Not over the line, but if you are requiring hair and makeup and nails, you should cover any costs for them to have it done. If someone really doesn't want it done, I wouldn't force them.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. As long as you're paying for the extra stuff then it is acceptable.

I don’t think it’s over the top to ask them to have their hair and make up done, as long as you are covering the costs of those services. As far as the routine goes, it’s hard to really say without any details. What exactly does this “cute, funny routine” consist of?

I agree with PP's about hair, make-up and nails, but with entrance routines, you need to make sure the bridal party is comfortable doing it. I wouldn't want to ruin friendships over making them feel so uncomfortable they would back out. Some may feel silly, others may feel great.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this

If you are requiring all your bridesmaids to have hair, makeup and nails done then you have to cover the costs of it for all the girls. I required my girls to have hair and makeup done, in which I have covered the cost for them.
In regards to doing any type of routine, all party members involved need to feel comfortable with doing so.

Hair/makeup, etc. is not out of line, but if you are requiring it, then you must pay for it. A routine should be volunteer based - no one should be forced.

Today agree with everyone- if you’re requiring the hair, makeup & nails then you cover the cost for it all. What exactly is your vision for the “cute, funny routine”? I’d tell them what exactly this routine is & ask (not force) if they’re comfortable with doing it. If they’re not, don’t force that issue.

If a professional service is required, you should cover the cost. But the hair and makeup you describe doesn't sound complicated, so you could all just get ready together in the morning to save $$.

As others have said, a performance should be optional. It will go a long way for your friendship if you don't pressure anyone into it.

I’d say it’s all of the specifics that you requested that cause these services to be something you pay for. Otherwise, i’m sure they would automatically have their hair done nicely and put on makeup simply because they’re a bridesmaid. It all honesty, a lot of emphasis gets put on these areas for bridesmaids yet it’s hardly noticeable enough to matter.

If you are requiring they get their hair and make up done then you are required to pay for it.

View Quoted Comment

Agreed with this.

Yeah, I'd say it's all too much. The specifics for hair, make up, and nails would be too much for me or my friends. I'm also assuming you're going to require a specific dress. I know you want your day to be a certain way but bridesmaids aren't puppets or barbie dolls. You selected these people because they mean alot to you the way they are. Let them keep a little bit of control for themselves. Having different nail polish or hairstyles is not going to ruin the pictures.


As for the dance routine, you would probably have more participation if you let them help you plan it but then there are some girls who just aren't comfortable. I mean, a video of that will live forever lol. It also takes time and effort into learning it. I'd say be flexible. You want this to be a fun time between y'all. You want your friendships to be intact when the wedding is over.

The issue isn't that you would like their hair and makeup done - it's that you want messy updos, which most people can't do on their own, and you want "natural daytime" makeup, which most women don't really know what that means, and you want their nails to match, which means they all have to use the same polish - and the chances they all have the same polish is basically zero.

So, you're not saying "I'd like you all to look nice," you're saying "I want you all to have professional services done."

In that case, pay for them. If you aren't willing to pay for those services, then yes, you are out of line.

As for the choreographed entrance, if one of your girls has said you are asking too much, what they probably mean is "I'm not comfortable doing that." Those things should only happen if all of your girls are 100% on board, and it definitely sounds like they aren't.

I think having specific hairstyles and makeup looks is too much. Requiring it is one thing, and you should cover costs if requiring, but to specify that each person has to have a specific hairstyle or makeup look is too much. Not everyone looks the same or feels comfortable with the exact same look. Let them pick their own style for both hair and makeup so that they're comfortable and feel like their best selves on your day.

My friend had us wear whatever jewelry we wanted but nothing too much just a simple necklace. She also requested us to have natural colored nails and nude shoes! I don’t think it’s too much to request certain looks like that but you can’t require people to pay to have their hair and makeup professionally done. I’m going to let my girls know what the cost is and see who wants to do it. Likely everyone will because who doesn’t want to look their best, but sometimes people can’t afford it so if you’re going to require it, then you should pay for it.

Nothing wrong with wanting a specific look, but you can't make them get it professionally done. Some might not want to or can't afford it.

Yep, what everyone else said. If someone is already pointing out it's too much, then it's too much.

It definitely matters more what your nearest and dearest think than what we think. So if they are telling you your requests are too much, I would listen to them.

But also, I agree with everyone that requiring professional services without paying for them and requiring participation in a "cute funny routine" are too much.

Are you paying for it? Then no it's not out of line. If you're asking them to cover the cost, then yes.