Bridesmaids

This bridesmaid in particular has had an issue with the dress the hair and makeup. Said she'd help with the bridal shower n didn't. Didn't show up to the Bachelorette. Hasn't been helpful at all, just causing more stress. She is supposed to be my close friend but isn't acting like it! I thought I was supposed to be the bridezilla not the other way around.

Did you ask her opinion on her dress or makeup? I went with my girls shopping for their dresses and made sure to pick something they were comfortable in. For makeup I told them I was hiring someone to do makeup, gave the cost for hair and makeup then let them decide if they wanted either service. If you didn't give her any say I can see why she might be upset.


Also when did she agree to help with the shower? The pandemic effected a lot of people so if it was prior to the pandemic I can completely understand why she might have agreed to help, but then couldn't.
Had she said she was going to attend the bachelorette party then was a no-show? It isn't clear in your explanation. Two of my bridesmaids didn't attend mine and that didn't make me angry at them as they both had legitimate reasons for being unable to attend.
Lastly, bridesmaids aren't really required to help. It's up to the bride and groom unless someone specially offers to assist so being upset with her for not helping really isn't fair if she didn't volunteer.

View Quoted Comment I gave them options of dress and hair. The majority of the bridesmaids ( I have 6) picked one hair style and she was not happy with it. She did say she was going to the Bachelorette and backed out last minute. I don't have an issue with people not being able to show up to every event. I just don't like when people cancel last minute. Said bridesmaid offered to help with bridal shower but never showed up to help other bridesmaids.

View Quoted Comment Bridesmaids don't need to have the same hair style so I would let wear her hair how she wants. I wouldn't be thrilled with someone telling me specifically how to wear my hair and honestly if you are insisting she has a specific style then you should cover the cost.


As for the bachelorette party, why did she back out last minute? While I agree it isn't very considerate, if she had a valid reason for backing out then I wouldn't hold it against her.
If she said she was going to help decorate she should have. I agree with being upset with her for not helping with the shower especially if she said she would.

View Quoted Comment They decided on having the same style, so to be helpful sent I them some ideas of what they could do. The majority of the girls picked one particular look and she was the only one that had an issue with it. But I decided on letting everyone do their own style, so there are no issues.

Are they paying for their hair and makeup? Perhaps it's too much for her financially.

I think to be honest that with a big group of women, wearing similar dresses/hair/makeup, there is always going to be one person who isn't a fan, and who creates a fuss. Sometimes it doesn't matter how consultative you are, whether you've paid for everything or tried to make accommodations for people - you simply can't please all of the people all of the time. I've seen it happen as a bridesmaid before, and now as a bride.

Could you have one of the other bridesmaids speak to her and ask her what's going on and that it's been obvious that she's not happy and ask her to perhaps put her feelings aside?

Or if not, could you pull her aside or take her out for a coffee and ask her about if there's anything going on in her life which is making things difficult for her - ie, finances, covid, etc, because you've noticed she doesn't seem happy. You could say you know it might not be the dress of her dreams or the hairstyle or whatever she's always wanted, but that it's hard to find something absolutely everyone likes, and that you don't want anyone to not feel good about themselves and that you're doing your best to accommodate what everyone wants, so if she could put it aside for just one day for the sake of your friendship, you'd really appreciate it.