Brother and sil expecting.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I’ve planned several friends’ baby showers and none of them have ever taken more than a few hours to plan. Some have been at a place that serves food, some have been homemade food made by friends/family. Really it’s just finding a location, food options, and then ordering any decorations/dinnerware if needed.

If you don’t want to do it then that’s fine but it’s not really a time consuming thing.

View Quoted Comment I work in the medical field so a lot of my time is either at work at the hospital working long hours and catching up on much needed sleep. I’m also having a large wedding of 300 people so I’m not planning a small wedding. My question wasn’t to ask whether anyone thought I could take on more planning but whether I should let them down lightly, avoid, or wait for someone else to throw them a shower.

What about your sister in law's parents? Can they help your parents ? Does she have siblings or family members willing to help?

Talk to your parents about it and help where you can. You have your own issues to focus on.

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I agree. SIL's family might have financial issues and can't contribute much, if any, money but they certainly ought to be able to contribute to the brainstorming, arranging, and set up. It's not just your brother's baby, after all.

View Quoted Comment Yeah it’s kind of hard cause her parents are very old school and don’t see the value in throwing parties etc. They thought my brother and SILs wedding was over the top even though there were only 100 people there. They said they could have done a courthouse wedding. The bridal shower was hosted by a few bridesmaids and my parents hosted the rehearsal dinner. They don’t throw parties or get togethers at their house and if they do it’s usually FSIL who plans it and buys the food etc.

View Quoted Comment Yeah it’s kind of hard cause her parents are very old school and don’t see the value in throwing parties etc. They thought my brother and SILs wedding was over the top even though there were only 100 people there. They said they could have done a courthouse wedding. The bridal shower was hosted by a few bridesmaids and my parents hosted the rehearsal dinner. They don’t throw parties or get togethers at their house and if they do it’s usually FSIL who plans it and buys the food etc.

No siblings. Very small extended family that lives out of state.

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Hmm now that's kind of tough. I only asked because I know from previous parties like the girls parents would have the baby shower. Just tough that its on you to host it. It would be nice if they could help with the brainstorming part instead of on you. I know you said they don't host anything. That would be my only solution is for them to help with the planning aspect.

Honestly, I would just keep my mouth shut and next time they hint it at you be honest and say " Wow, I wish I could but with all of my wedding planning I just can't" You need to let them or her know that you're not taking on that and cut her expectation for you and her baby shower. Either that or (a) find someone else to plan it with your parents (hard, you need to find someone, more work for you) or (b) plan it yourself or have your sister help your parents (unless your sister refuses by her own choice, if SHE chooses to help you and her brother then thats on her). Since you just don't want to get it involved with it then plain and simple don't; don't offer ideas, suggestions or anything because you'll automatically be pulled in. Best of Luck!

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for this advice!!! Super helpful!! ☺️☺️

View Quoted Comment Yeah I think because I have pretty good taste in things (at least what my SIL and brother said to me) and I’m a pretty good planner. I’m doubtful they would even want to plan it but I think I’ll reach out to one of her best friends or previous bridesmaids to see if they’d be willing to do it! Thank you!!

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Is your sister able to help plan it?