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Dedicated June 2020

Brother as groomsman

Cait, on December 1, 2019 at 11:11 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 23

We have are wedding party. My brother will be one of the groomsmen. He wants to attend the wedding and be a part of or day. But he doesn't agree with getting wedding party photos, having his clothes chosen so all the guys match, and even being part of the table for at least the wedding toast....
We have are wedding party. My brother will be one of the groomsmen. He wants to attend the wedding and be a part of or day. But he doesn't agree with getting wedding party photos, having his clothes chosen so all the guys match, and even being part of the table for at least the wedding toast. Afterwords he can go sit and mingle with his best friend whom we are inviting for him. I dont know what to do. Hes my brother and hes good friends with my groom and want to share this day with him but it doesn't feel like he really wants to do the same. He almost broke into yelling tonight in a restuarant about the fact that we bought all the ties and socks for the groomsmen as their wedding party gifts.
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23 Comments

  • A
    Savvy August 2020
    Amanda ·
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    Yeah, he seems like he's being needlessly difficult for kicks at this point. For the sake of everyone, make him just a guest. He can still be friends even if he's not marching down the aisle. We have plenty of close friends that will be seated at the wedding, and it's totally fine.

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  • Isabel
    Beginner May 2021
    Isabel ·
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    I would say be straight up with him or see if your fiance could talk to him about how important it is for him to be there, etc. You could always make him an usher or he can walk your mom in so he doesn't necessarily have to match the groomsmen and can be "brother of the bride." In the end, it's you and your FH's day and your decision. If he refuses, he can be a guest.

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  • Samantha
    Savvy October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    How old is your brother? Most people know that when they agree to be in the wedding, they agree to things like being told what to wear and what they need to be part of. If you haven’t, you, your FH and your parents need to sit down with him and tell him what the expectations are.
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