Brother didn't ask my husband to be in Wedding party but asked his fiance's brother (future Bil)

It was a nice gesture for your husband to include your brother as a groomsman. That can be a wise decision to help promote the family peace. But it is not required that your brother do the same in return especially since he has been distant recently. Your brother's choice of his wedding party should not determine the future of the relationship since the decision is personal and depends on many factors. Weddings can make some family dynamics worse and some better but can be just a passing event. So it is better not to make the wedding a game changer. If your husband is okay at trying to be a peacemaker, keep doing that or, at least, not be dismayed if peace does not happen at this event.

I think there’s a difference between inviting your fianceé’s brother and inviting a different brother-in-law. It’s a way to connect and involve someone who you are in the process of becoming family with, sort of acknowledging that it’s not just your fiancee but her whole that you’re joining. So just because your husband asked your brother and your brother asked his fiancée’s brother doesn’t at all translate that he’s snubbing your husband now.


I’m also not a fan of insisting that someone MUST include relatives in the wedding party generally. It’s supposed to be about surrounding yourself with the people you’re closest to on your wedding day to support you. It definitely doesn’t sound like your husband and brother are close, so why should he exclude a close friend from his wedding support system just to include an obligatory relative? That’s not likely to improve the relationship.
You and your hubby need to stop making your brother’s wedding about you and just go be supportive.

I agree with Andrea. Having the bride's brother in the wedding is a lot different than having your sister's husband in my opinion. Unfortunately it's often impossible to include everyone you d like to in a wedding party without it being huge. It also important to remember just because you invited someone to do/be something does not obligate them to do the same. Try not to let it bother you and have fun at the wedding!

I agree with the others, the bride's brother is a lot more of a significant ask than the groom's sister's husband. No-one is obligated to ask someone into the wedding party anyway.

Brother is in no way obligated to have your husband as a groomsman. You are absolutely valid in feeling hurt, but it's ultimately up to your brother and no one else.