Brother in law planning his wedding right before ours

I’m sorry this happened to you but I would just continue with your plans. It doesn’t sound like they are going to ch age anything and you can’t make them so just focus on your day. I’m sure it will be beautiful and special.

There’s really nothing you can do to make them change their plans or colors. You have a right to feel upset, but the only thing you can do is either accept it and move on or change your colors and/or date.

There's really not much you can do. It's okay to be upset, but then you just have to move on and decide whether or not you want to change your colors. For what it's worth, you can make your wedding way different than theirs even if you both have the same colors.

Agreeing with the previous posters that while there's not a lot you can do, I will say comparison is the thief of joy. Weddings, marriage, love, family, celebration; these are all supposed to be happy things.


I know it's a frustrating point for you to be planning along and then this comes. Be encouraged that you can totally have a different style, theme even with the same colors and dates close together. I think about it like this: how many Christmas parties have red, green, gold, white, etc.? But each decorative style is usually different and unique to the host or party designer. Your wedding vision will also be even more special and unique as you and your FH build on the friendship and love you have to share with those you love the most. Be encouraged my dear. Don't let anyone (even passively) steal your joy. 🌻

I'm sorry they did that to you. Unless you WANT to change your date / colors then do it. Otherwise, I'd just keep things the way you want. If you want to get a head start on them, then I'd send the STDs sooner rather than later (that's being a little vengeful, which sometimes I like to do). At the end of the day, just continue what you're doing and enjoy the process. Your day will be much more beautiful because of the thought and planning put into it.

View Quoted Comment This is such a thoughtful answer. More people need to hear this!

I was in this situation but I was your brother, so maybe I can bring his perspective to it. Every one has a different schedule and timeline, and it's hard to find a wedding date that works for the couple and the VIPs and the church and the venue. I chose a date a month before my cousin because it was the best available date at my church that fit in the window between FHs professional testing and his move for work (I won't be able to move with him until we are married because of our faith). The date also held a special meaning to us.


Now that planning is in full swing, guests haven't said they will have to choose between one wedding or the other. Guests haven't seemed to be unable to celebrate us both or pump us both up for our big day. However, my cousins tantrum about the situation has ostracized so many people that they have stopped speaking to her and one girl even dropped out of her bridal party over it (after she kicked my sisters and me out)
I do get it. It's not what you planned. You want your own time. But guests seriously only care about the wedding when they are there--nobody, even your closest friends and family, care about your wedding as much as you do. So this situation is only a big deal if you make it one. If you accept that everyone gets one day, you'll be happier and maybe even get you plan with FSIL.
Also the colors--nobody will remember or notice but you. I don't remember the colors of a single wedding I went to

That’s kind of annoying but like pp said not much you can do either :/
The bright side is even with the same colors it won’t be or look like the same wedding

I completely understand why this would be upsetting; I'd be upset, too! Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about it. If they aren't willing to change anything, then just go on planning your day. They won't ruin your day unless you let them. It's going to be difficult, especially on the day of their wedding, but different timelines work for everyone and you can't change it.

I think you do what YOU dreamt of. Who cares what they do? Is it at the same venue?? It’ll be different. Don’t worry too much

Continue with your plans. Don't share any of your ideas with them. Your guests might notice a similarity in colors for a minute and not be bothered after that. Don't overthink it.

View Quoted Comment This 🙌🏼🙌🏼 I say carry on.. in the end, the date and the colors really won’t matter. What will matter though, is that you’re finally married!

View Quoted Comment Aww thanks, just want all of you lovelies to stay encouraged! It's challenging but I'm rooting for y'all!

View Quoted Comment Yes ma'am!