Brother in law wont let my sister come to my wedding

You are bettering yourself and I think that is a justifiable reason for a divorce. You have your second chance and you should be happy! Just pray about it and then try talking to your sister one on one and see her thoughts on it. Surely she doesnt agree with what your BIL said... that’s a little crazy. To think he’d wait until now out of all times to speak up?! If she agrees with him let that toxic relationship out of your life. Cling to your husband and keep on doing what you’re doing because you’re not going to Hell for finding a better man.

Wow, I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. I don’t want to sound a way but letting your religion run your life like that is absolutely insane. Suggesting an abuse victim return to the abuser is unacceptable and wrong in so many ways.

I know so many Christians who get divorced and married again, and no abuse is involved. I’m not a Christian myself so I don’t have any insight on if that is right in God’s eyes, but I think that being happy and healthy is more important than staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy.

Can you talk to your sister privately? She’s an adult and I don’t agree with him making this decision for her. I hope they change their minds and come to your wedding. Best of luck. ❤️❤️❤️

Hey girl I read this and my heart aches for u! Some people are for you and your relationship and others aren't. Most the time it's not even really about you and your soon to be husband , it's really just about your brother in law. But this time in your life is all about you girl. You don't worry about these letters and you accept the love and support you receive ! No matter who that's from ! Please don't worry about these problems and issues. If they don't want to support you and be apart of something beautful then that's entirely on them !!!!!!! I have a similar issue with my FH grandparents but we both just let it be cuz we have so many other people who loves us and know our marriage will conquer all. You will be okay love! Hang in there 😘

I am so so sorry. I'm so proud of you for leaving what sounds like a terrible situation for you and your children. It takes a lot of courage to get out of a marriage like that. Congratulations on finding someone who treats you like the wonderful, worthy woman that you are. I don't have the proper advice to give on your sister and BIL, and I'm not even sure there truly is any. Some people are set in their beliefs, no matter how wrong they may be to the rest of us. It's really unfortunate that he brought your sister into it and that she isn't standing up for herself and for you. All you can do right now is tie up the last few loose ends in your wedding planning and prepare for your big day. Rejoice in knowing that someone so toxic and unsupportive won't be there to ruin it for you. I hope that your sister makes the right choice, but I also hope that your day is just as great even without her.

Oh wow I am so sorry you are dealing with this! The first thing I want to say is you did a good thing for yourself and your kids to leave your abusive ex. No one should be put through that, or be made to feel at fault for leaving. As for your sister not being able to go to the wedding, I'm hoping that she will end up showing up when the day comes. But I do wonder if the reason she isn't standing up for herself is because of her husband, he sounds pretty controlling. She may not have her own voice any more. That is how it is with my sister. She got married young, he is 4 years older. He has been so controlling that she developed a seizure disorder from the stress, with her first seizure happening when she was in her mid 20s. When I have spoken to my sister about things she doesn't give a direct answer until her husband has his input. Maybe your sister has a similar situation. I hope that what ever happens on your wedding day, that you, your husband and kids have a great day and have many happy years to come.

First, I would like to say am so sorry for what you and your children have been through with your ex. I was also in a abusive relationship with my ex and know the hell and trauma that it causes. Second, it down right terriblw that your BIL would think it would be better for you to go back to a man that beat and mistreat you, wasn't a spouse nor husband, and and made life miserable for you and your children. You stand your ground and proclaim your happiness for you and your children with your FH, and let NO ONE come inbetween the loving home you both have created. As for your sister i pray she learns how to take up for herself and let her own voice be heard. Also i hope he isn't putting these ridiculous thoughts in your sister's head as well. But besides that its 2 days before your weeding love, you can't let this overshadow your happiness. After all no man can break up what God has put together!!!

I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone in your hurt. I, too, got a letter today. It was from my Grandma, my only living Grandparent, and her RSVP to my same-sex wedding was a VERY decided no and she had no problem telling me exactly why. I am so sorry this is seperating you from your sister. It's not you. Go and be happy. Rejoice in the loving home you're creating with FH and your kids. I will try to do the same.

Talk with your sister.

Obviously your brother in law is completely wrong. But your sister can still choose to go to the weddin rven if your brother in law doesnt support your marriage

I was once in an abusive relationship just like you I had the strength to leave. Domestic Violence comes in many forms and your sister might be a victim and she doesn't even know it. Not the most religious person but I do believe everything happens accordingly. And your FH was placed in your life to help you heal and live a life full of happiness. I hope you sister can be a part of your special day .But if not don't let anyone still your joy you have went thur the storm now it time for you to enjoy sunshine. Sending you positive vibes for your wedding day.

I have talked with her and she is starting to believe as he does. I have asked her if she ever needed help or to leave him I will help her. She also has her own set of problems. It is just hurtful. I know I should let it go, it just couldn't come in a worse time for me. I wish if it was going to happen at all it would have been months ago.

My heart goes out to you, but again you deserve this happiness for yourself and fh and your children. My fh tells me all the time you can not change grown people you dont have controll over their thoughts or actions. You however do have control over your thoughts do not let bil or your sister be your focus going forward especially not for the next two days. Please!!!!! Enjoy your special day💖💖💖💖

Well he's wrong. God says it is okay to leave a marriage under those circumstances and you can remarry. It's in the Bible. Your BIL is a turd. I'm sorry about your sister and how you're feeling. I'm not sure what the best action to take is other than focus on enjoying y'alls day

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this right before your wedding. And congrats on getting out of your abusive relationship and moving on! I wonder if your sister is only agreeing with BIL because she has no choice. He sounds like the type that would give her no choice but to agree with him. I hope they end up having a change of heart, but if they don’t just try your hardest to enjoy your wedding!

Wow what a psycho. Im sorry this has happened. Whats even more sad is your sister is married to him

I'm sorry that you having to deal with this. It sounds like your sister may be a victim of domestic abuse. It may not be physically abusive but it definitely sounds like it is emotionally abusive.

To be a bit blunt and personal on my part your BIL sounds so much like my father. My father trys to keep my mom from doing things she wants to do by telling her God won't like it or by telling her family members are going to hell. I expect that around the time of my own wedding my father will come up with some story of how I'm going to hell for some reason as on occasions and holidays he's at his worse. My dad's been normal lately but that could change in an instant. One of my grandmother's was a victim of domestic abuse. She was beaten among other things by her husband. She divorced him and later remarried the wonderful man that became my grandfather. Everyone that has ever brought it up has said she did the right thing. It takes a sick person to tell a woman that it was wrong for her to get out of an abusive marriage and that they should go back to their abuser. It angers me that your BIL said that God will heal your ex and make him a good husband. No amount of healing or intervention from God can change the fact that your ex abused you. The memories of everything you went through with your ex remain and nothing will change that. Its insensitive and emotionally abusive for your BIL to say the things he has. In some ways I know how you feel given what I've shared above.

Please don't let your BIL or anyone ever make you feel bad about your divorce. Your divorce was justified and I believe God understands why you divorced. The Bible actually states that if a marriage is abusive to get out of it as that is acceptable in God's eyes so your BIL either doesn't know his scripture well or is being feed the wrong information either at his church or in another form or he's coming up with his own version. I know people whose relationships weren't abusive and they got divorced. These days I think most Christians accept divorce and I find it rather odd your BIL doesn't.

I just want to say this. I grew up in church but don't go anymore because I didn't agree with how the people treated others so I might not be the best person to give advice regarding this. However I still pray and practice my faith privately. It sounds like your BIL let's his faith dictate his life on a level that is unhealthy and extreme. I hope that he can get some help were he won't be the way he is. I also hope your sister will find peace either in her marriage or by getting out of it. I know it hurts that your sister most likely won't be there on your special day but try to stay strong and enjoy your day. It sounds like you have found a kind loving man to spend your life with and I believe that is a blessing. When things are difficult like they are now let your soon to be husband help you even if it's needing to have a good cry on his shoulder to let the hurt your feeling out. I wish you both the best and I will send up a prayer for you that your wedding day is joyful in spite of what your going through.

My heart is aching for you. What your brother in law is doing is unreasonable. You made the right decision in divorcing your ex and it sounds like your soon to be husband is great for you and the kids. Is there anything else that could have gone down that would have caused this behavior from him? Does bil act like this on other occassion, or are you 100% sure this is motivated by Faith?

This is disgusting and I am so sorry you’re going through this. Please tell me your FH is angry at him for this and didn’t consider for a second the garbage he wrote. There’s a fine line between having a religious belief and having a mental issue. This BIL has clear mental issues and should seriously seek help. Your sister not sticking up for herself is alarming. If she is unable or unwilling to do so it gives the impression that she is also in an abusive relationship, maybe he’s not physically abusive but he’s likely psychologically abusive if he goes to such an extent to hurt you before your wedding. He has no right to not allow you to come.

To be completely honest, it’s people like this who make me question faith. I was raised Roman Catholic and even though the priest from my church is marrying us, I refused to be married in the church and no longer attend. I got sick and tired of seeing people who thought they knew everything because they attend weekly mass. That holier than thou attitude will get him nowhere in life.

Right now, I wouldn’t waste your time stressing over this. You absolutely should right your sister a letter at some point to let her know how much this hurt you and how you are concerned for her because you never thought she wouldn’t be there for you.

Lots of spelling/grammar issues in my response! Sorry about that! I was writing really fast and didn’t read over before hitting the reply button! I wish we had an edit button. 🤦🏼‍♀️

The issue of her attendance at your wedding aside, you need to reach out to your sister and warn her that she needs to rethink her marriage to him and get out. A man who insists on you rekindling your relationship with someone who was THAT abusive under the guise of “faith” is someone who condones abuse, and chances are he will turn abusive in his own marriage if he has not already. This is the biggest, most glaring red flag you could possibly get. Your sister needs to run from this marriage fast and keep herself safe.

This is awful and I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I hate when people use religion like this - in a way that gives them the illusion of power so that they can hurt other people. Your BIL knows he's hurting you, but he doesn't care. I'm an atheist, but grew up in the church, so I understand how powerfully painful these types of things can be.

I won't tell you that you need to forget about it. If it were my sister refusing to come to my wedding because of her husband, I don't know how I'd handle it. Since you are religious, the only thing I can suggest is to pray that you can forgive your BIL for his toxic presence in your life, that your sister comes to her senses, and that you can find peace to move forward with a happy life. I hope your marriage is wonderful and you can enter into it knowing that you are absolutely doing nothing wrong.