Brother not talking to my father

I think you’re stepping in the middle of something you don’t belong in the middle of. Do you want a relationship with your brother? If the answer is yes, invite him. If the answer is no, don’t. It’s really that simple. Your brother doesn’t have to have a relationship with either of your parents in order for you to have a relationship with him. Not inviting him to your wedding because he doesn’t speak to your father would likely sever any chance for a continued relationship between the two of you and any possible reconciliation between your brother and your father.

Your brother is allowed to decide who he wants and doesn't want in his life. Clearly he doesn't feel that he benefits from continuing a relationship with your father, and as sad as that is, it's his decision to make. I have no idea why you would uninvite him from your wedding for that, but this is definitely a relationship ending move. If anything, this is only going to cause more "brokenness."

View Quoted Comment I agree. Your brother should decide who he wants a relationship with. You should invite him, if he doesn't come that's his choice. You should focus on your wedding.

I agree with the PP posters. This is hard. Wedding tend to bring up family issues. Do not let their relationship affect your relationship with either of them. My parents were not divorced and we still have these same problems in my family. Our relationships with our parents are not the same as our siblings. Their experiences and perceptions are not the same. Maybe they will mend their relationship, but maybe not. All families have a level of dysfunction. Unless you think that either of them are going to make a scene or that things will escalate to point that is out of control do not retract the invite. Let your brother decide if he wants to interact with your father or not. If you un-invite him you will be cutting him off and he will be isolated further from the family. If you do not have an issue with your brother I would still invite him. They should be able to put their differences a side for you for a day.

I'm sorry this is happening. However, I wouldn't get in the middle of this. I would continue with having your brother in the wedding as you obviously must be close with him if you wanted him in the wedding to begin with. His relationship with your parents shouldn't determine your relationship with him. If he doesn't want to have a relationship with your parents then you should respect that. If you were to kick in out of your bridal party and uninvite him that is only going to cause more danger and will likely completely end any type of relationship that you have with your brother. I would also think your brother is smart enough to know your dad and his side of the family is going to be there so if he had such an issue with it that he would have brought up a concern about it already. They can all act like adults for one day and if they can't then you have them escorted out of the wedding. I will say I have some personal experience with this. I didn't invite my grandfather to my wedding because he decided he didn't to have a relationship with my mom shortly after I got engaged. Because he didn't want a relationship with her, he also didn't want to have one with me or the rest of our family. They tried working things out. About a week before my wedding, he expressed a desire to attend so I tried calling him to invite him and he didn't answer his phone or any text messages. He told my mom after the fact that he isn't required to answer his phone if he doesn't want to and that he has no desire to work on his relationship with anyone in our family. I will also add that my father-in-law is estranged from two of his four children - his daughter and oldest son. His daughter was one of my bridesmaids and his oldest son's four children were the ring bearer, usher, and flower girls in our wedding. My father-in-law attended the wedding. His two children ignored him for most of the wedding, but my brother-in-law did make small talk with him even though my brother-in-law utterly hates my father-in-law. I would recommend sitting them away from each other. My husband's sister sat with the bridal party and their significant others. My brother-in-law, his wife, their four children and their babysit sat at one table. My mother-in-law sat with her sisters since my father-in-law and mother-in-law are separated. My father-in-law sat at a completely different table with his fiancee, sister, and nephew.

I wouldn’t want someone telling me I have to have a relationship with my father in order to attend their wedding. My father is toxic, and while you may have mended you’re relationship with him, your brother clearly has not. That’s very much his choice, and he’s right to do whatever he feels the need to do. You have no quarrel with your brother, and I would suggest keeping it that way if you want to. Invite them both, and if they can’t behave like adults, that says more about them than it ever will if you. But like PPs said, it’s not your place to get involved.

I think it is up to your brother of who he is able to forgive, have a relationship etc.. I know sometimes we may not understand this looking in but its okay. I think if you want your brother and dad there, invite both of them... let them decide to come or not and sit them separately to keep peace all around