My brothers wedding is adult only. It’s a back yard tent wedding in a different state, plane ride away and he wants my daughter to be there but not at the wedding my child is 3. He tried to arrange childcare but I declined because after contentious discussion it was clear that if it didn’t work out or my child or myself or my husband was not comfortable with it he would be upset if she joined any part the event. He offered that “we could visit her if we wanted to.” It is a back yard tent wedding on a farm. I asked why he was so hard on this since it was so casual and he said it doesn’t matter that it wasn’t the point.
So the plan now is to be at the Ceremony (not in it just there) which I find odd because that seems the only time in a wedding that could potentially be disruptive but we must remove her after and she is not allowed to attend cocktail hour.
He has called me selfish, disrespectful, rude and ungrateful for his generosity to provide childcare. I have been completely gaslighted by him and my mother has asked me to be the one to apologize because she says a text I sent explaining that we would love to go to the event but a sitter was not necessary and we would make sure to take any worry away from them as rude and cold. My brother said I was bullying them into something they didn’t want for their day.
I’m at a loss. I don’t want to feel forced to leave my child with a stranger or feel shamed if we have to make our own arrangements (like one parent staying home) that aren’t ideal for them or extended family. I also don’t want to bring someone with us for 3 days just to have that 4-10 window for childcare.
I’m exhausted. I’ve been up for two nights with a poor sick kid vomiting for two days, dr appointments, x-rays etc. and dealing with this. I guess I’m just being selfish. 🤦♀️
Post content has been hidden
To unblock this content, please click here