Bummed about not having a Bachelorette Party

View Quoted Comment To clarify, not all of my bridesmaids are involved in a surprise party/get together, only two stepped in to plan something for me. Second, majority of my bridesmaids out of 6 weren’t aware of how I felt truly about not being able to celebrate my bachelorette party the way I envisioned and the way we all originally discussed. So of course I’m disappointed because I also don’t want to hurt their feelings by disclosing that my feelings got hurt. I’m not trying to be entitled at all or start drama with the group, especially when everyone was thrilled to celebrate my last chance as a single gal.

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What would you like us to tell you to do for the 4 that didn't plan anything? What, literally do you think they need to do? They don't owe you anything.

No-one is going to cough up money so you feel like you got what apparently you're owed. Just because you're feeling a type of way doesn't mean they have to fix it. At all.

View Quoted Comment So…even if I did a make up trip, they still won’t go for it in the future? And they won’t even show empathy at all for not joining me the first time around (except for the two who were willing to do something which was better than nothing)? Either way, to me it won’t feel like the same experience that we all originally planned. There’s nothing wrong with me having expectations and feeling bummed when they were not met, because within my group I was under the impression that they were all in, because that’s how they reacted when I first brought it up to them. So that’s what got me upset, even if I tried to make the trip work out for everyone. And if they truly knew just how much it hurt me that I won’t be getting my dream bachelorette party that I dreamed for years about, they would feel pretty bad. I can’t control what their finances and schedules and everyday lives are like. So because most of them aren’t aware of how when they said they had other things getting in the way of doing something for the Bach weekend, and therefore me unable to have what was planned, made me upset, I don’t know how to communicate my feelings to the bridal party because I don’t want to cause drama.

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You say, I'm disappointed Las Vegas Memorial Day bachelorette didn't work out. I was looking forward to it. Not vocalizing your feelings is making everything fester.

Why is this the "last fling"? Can't you go on girls' trips after marriage? Go on another weekend with interested friends. Or hire a local stripper, have a cards game, and wear sequins for a Vegas-esque night dancing. I use to work bottle service in LV. No one gets "The Hangover" weekend for under $1k each and def not on Mem Day weekend.

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They have nothing to make up to you. Cost of everyday things like groceries, gas, rent, utilities etc. have gone through the roof. These are important and necessary. Something that might have been affordable before is not any longer. I loved my night out with dinner and the company of my favorite girls and was grateful they took the time out of their busy lives to spend it with me.

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They have nothing to make up to you. Cost of everyday things like groceries, gas, rent, utilities etc. have gone through the roof. These are important and necessary. Something that might have been affordable before is not any longer. I loved my night out with dinner and the company of my favorite girls and was grateful they took the time out of their busy lives to spend it with me.

View Quoted Comment The way I interpret “the last fling” means the last time I get to do something as an unmarried woman before getting hitched. It would be same situation if my fiancé had his bachelor party. I believe there’s nothing wrong with me wanting that experience. I could do a make up trip after I’m married, but for me personally, the feeling of being married while going on a trip where I was supposed to celebrate being the bride-to-be, the experience will be a whole lot different. I don’t get what’s the big confusion with that. I understand that the holiday weekends can get either expensive or busy for some, but I have a few connections in Vegas that gives me a lot of good perks. With that said, I could have done Vegas on a budget. Also, I was supposed to go with my fiancé for the joint Bach party weekend. I don’t want to wait too long to tell everyone how not having a bachelorette party (something I’ve always wanted) makes me sad, but I understand that I don’t want to cause drama before the wedding to make things awkward for everyone. But I don’t think I will easily let it go. I don’t think I should be at fault for that either.

View Quoted Comment I’m grateful that they agreed to being in my wedding, but if they knew what also comes with that responsibility besides buying their own dress or standing up with me on the big day, one of the events I wanted to see happen was the bachelorette party. They knew a year in advance what I wanted and they all seemed thrilled to attend that as well. And just because some brides-to-be want to celebrate in a low-key way doesn’t mean every bride-to-be feels like that. I’ve waited over a year and a half to be privileged to have a Bach party, and I just wanted to have an event that would make me happy and spend it with those who I wanted to share the experience with.

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Take yourself to Vegas. You can do it.

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You asked for opinions. Many people gave them. Not one person agreed with you. Maybe you need to rethink your expectations and stop trying to justify it over and over again.

View Quoted Comment Well, then you it didn’t get my point on the issue I was having. Sorry, that I couldn’t be more clear, but the fact of matter was that what I wanted to experience more than anything in the world, should not have been de-valued just because other previous replies from people stated that they had a low-key event and not something so elaborate and specific like I wanted (which shouldn’t make it wrong in the slightest). My expectations should also not be so abruptly criticized just because you personally wouldn’t do the things or say the things I wanted to do. I am not trying to be mean-spirited towards the bridesmaids that want to do something low-key (but still a nice and thoughtful gesture) and I’m certainly not ungrateful, but in the end, it wasn’t what I originally planned. Hopefully I’ll still have a good time with whatever it is they want to do with me in the interim. But if there was a chance that we could all get together for a make up Bach trip, I’m sure if I asked, they would consider doing it. Timing just wasn’t on my side before the wedding, that’s all.

I feel as if you want to go to Vegas, come here!!! Even if it’s with one of your girls! Let everyone else do something for you when you get back! I know it’s not the same with your squad, but be happy and come!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for being understanding (you’re about the only one who is). I hope to go back one day because I know it can be fun and you can go there on a budget if it’s planned out properly.

I couldn’t go to my sisters bachelorette party … She went to Nashville. We both live in Maryland. I have 3 kids 6,3 and 1 and I’m also planning my own wedding so finances are really tight .. In my opinion bachelorette parties are stupid 🤷🏻‍♀️ If I have one it will be something small and in the state I live in. It’s understandable to be upset but plans change sometimes.

Girl you’re asking way too much and your entitlement is a huge yikes. If I was your friend with the way your being I wouldn’t go and I certainly wouldn’t try to make it up to you. Getting married doesn’t mean your friends and family owe you anything. You’re choosing to ignore what everyone here is trying to tell you and if you rub all of your friends the wrong way that’s on you

View Quoted Comment So, I guess according to you and everyone else, I shouldn’t bother having the dream bachelorette party because no one could do it on the time frame originally planned? And if I made it up somehow in the future, maybe they’d still want to go? I can’t force anyone to do anything. They don’t know how I truly felt when they all conveniently had other things in life get in the way of those plans. I wish everyone here could perhaps empathize with my situation, but I can see we’re not going to get on the same page. And no, I’m not being entitled if I want to fulfill a dream during the wedding planning process. Are you having a bachelorette party? If so, good for you. I liked having the idea of having one. And I can’t exactly rub my friends the wrong way when they haven’t exactly been told of what I’ve been feeling/going through because of their choice to not go. And their decision really hurt me, so I’m not going to let that go so easily, and I shouldn’t be faulted for that. How would you truly feel if you were in my position? If the answer is bachelorette parties mean nothing, then don’t have one. Huge yikes!

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If reading all of your comments doesn’t make you realize how entitled this sounds it is sad.

“thought my bridal party understood what was expected of them, but I guess having something going on regardless is better than nothing, right?”Expected of them?
“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a little bit disappointed, I’m hugely disappointed”
“a couple of them wanted to make it up to me because they felt bad for what happened, to me it just won’t feel the same as far as experiences go.”They have nothing to make up for.
“Maybe I could try and have all of them make it up to me in the future.”?
“but if they knew what also comes with that responsibility besides buying their own dress or standing up with me on the big day, one of the events I wanted to see happen was the bachelorette party.No such responsibility
“Hopefully I’ll still have a good time with whatever it is they want to do with me in the interim.”If people put work and effort into planning something I hope you have a good time too. And their decision really hurt me, so I’m not going to let that go so easily
“The only thing that would seem envious at this point is seeing anyone of my friends on social media have or go to a bachelorette party and it looks like a lot of fun that I could have easily had.”Flights, hotels and activities are not planned that easily.
“I’m not trying to be entitled at all or start drama with the group, especially when everyone was thrilled to celebrate my last chance as a single gal.”“

And they won’t even show empathy at all for not joining me the first time around”

You seem really stuck on the idea of "last fling". What did you plan on doing on this Vegas trip that you can't do as a married woman? You're already in a committed relationship so what would change? Also, people's lives can change. No one owes you their circumstances remaining the same just because you're getting married. A bachelorette party was important to me so I made sure we chose something local that all my friends could afford. Would I love to go on a getaway with some friends? Absolutely, but i knew some of my friends weren't in a financial position to do so.


They don't need to make anything up to you and you really should consider your reasons for wanting to hold this against them.

View Quoted Comment How about you only respond to comments that are directed towards YOU and no one else. Okay? And don’t try to use my words against me just because you don’t agree with them and accusing me of being entitled. Also, planning things takes time, so when they knew long in advance what the plan was, perhaps they shouldn’t have waited until the last minute to tell me that the plan changed without a proper backup for everyone to be included. Maybe I’ll like the low-key event that only me and two out of 6 bridesmaids will experience, so thank you for wishing me to have a “good time”. But my issue is that half of my bridesmaids are from out of state, so the only time I’ll get to see ALL of us together is on the wedding day. Maybe I didn’t like that scenario which made me sad, and I shouldn’t be criticized for feeling like they needed to show up to more than one pre-wedding day event, got it? And you have NO idea how much money I’ve spent on ALL of them, so don’t lecture me about THEIR financial burdens. And if they have a specific role in the bridal party, they need to adhere to certain expectations (not just showing up on the day-of with the dress they bought) https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/bridesmaid-duties-checklist

View Quoted Comment Well, for starters, I don’t get to see these girls on a regular basis because they a) live far away or b) lead busy lives. Don’t all brides get to decide where they want to go spend their last few days as a single woman? Why should my dream trip turn into a nightmare because a few people couldn’t afford it? Btw, I talked to my fiancé about all these “fabulous” comments, and he thinks everyone is misunderstanding what the term “fling before the ring” means, especially when it involves a trip to Vegas. It’s a fun place where you can enjoy yourself, and I’ve been there multiple times with my fiancé, so I know what to expect. And I was never unsympathetic to the fact that these girls clearly couldn’t make the trip possible at this. Which is why I was recommended to having a make-up trip after a year or so of being married. And some of the previous commentators believe I don’t deserve that either. So if I were to compare that to a year later celebration after eloping (which I know someone else did), how is what I want any different? And in hindsight, I felt like they should owe “something” because I was in a state of feeling sad (and as a bride-to-be under enough stress and pressure as it is, it wasn’t a good feeling). You (not you personally) think those reply comments to me were helping, except to get under my skin? And I was going to hold it against them in probably the most “bridezilla” way (and I’ve never in my life reacted or felt people needed to be treated like that). I wasn’t going to pay for their hair and makeup services which turned out to be very expensive, but my supportive fiancé said that I deserve the best on the wedding day despite all this drama. So, they and I are going to look picture-perfect and that should make me happy.