Buyers Remorse? Wedding planning is making me sad.

It's your wedding, do whatever will make you and FH happy and what you can afford. I don't think you should have a big wedding because other people want you to especially if they aren't paying for it. It's definitely overwhelming, but try to take one thing at a time and enjoy it!

Have the wedding you can afford.

I've absolutely had the same thoughts and feelings. But over time, little by little with saving money over this past year we've been able to chip away at it with my parents help and I'm finally starting to get excited being 5 months out.

If it's stressing you out this much, it's not worth it. Cut back and have a small wedding. Smaller weddings are still just as beautiful, but more intimate. People should understand your choice.

Have the wedding you can afford, however don't self cater

Talk to your FH and see what he thinks and take it from there.

I had regret and still do about our wedding. I love that we were married, but if I could do it over again, our guest list would have been 20. We would have been married either at the court house (Chicago has a beautiful CH) or a park and we would have taken our guests out to a fantastic dinner.

Have the wedding you can afford and the wedding that you and your FH want.

Feeling the same way only because I am frugal! We are definitely having the wedding be financially within our means. We have both wanted the type of wedding we are having. I get you with the sticker shock! Our final payments are coming due and it makes everything so real!

I had sticker shock too. So did my FH, but we have been doing tons of researching before committing to buying first. So far we have most of what we want at really great deals, and we'll withing budget. I'm sure that there is a way to cut back on costs for you, either guest list, decor, invites etc.

Also. I just saw your date, keep in mind that what you want now may not be what you want later, and you do have more than a year to start saving..

Also, don't count on your parents' money. Anything could happen with them between now and your wedding.

1. Figure out how much you can save.

2. Figure out a guest list you can afford.

3. Find a venue that fits both. Until then, you don't really have a date.

Thanks everyone. The biggest thing is guest list for sure, we need to cut back there. I have every intention of properly hosting, food, alcohol, venue and accommodations, etc. I just think I am surprised with how stressed I am about it already.

We were originally planning a 150 person wedding. We did have sticker shock at first but we budgeted for it and had a good saving plan going but FH got laid off so we had to dip into our wedding savings, I picked up a second job and we were still in a good place financially. We then decided its too much and when we had our wedding shower we loved the intimate small feel so 3 months before we drastically cut our guest list and decided on a much smaller much more affordable wedding. There's nothing wrong with smaller weddings, have the one you can afford.

I'm on team small wedding.I always have been but over the past years, even more so. I go to these giant weddings and I see half the crowd on their phones two minutes into cocktail hour, no one really paying attention to the dances and toasts, having their own little parties. Because the last 100 people on any given list could be anywhere. Except you're paying for it. And when they get too big? You won't even be able to talk to everyone. It honestly makes me sad when people here talk about not wanting to "waste' time with table visits or writing personal thank you notes.

We all love to feel loved; I get that, but I also don't personally understand spending a vast amount of money on what is essentially a one day party, sometimes full of people you haven't spoken to in years and probably won't in the years to come.

Don't have the party other people want; have the party YOU want, especially if you're paying for all or part of it.

Some of my absolute favorite weddings have been smaller; I have one tomorrow and one on Thursday. Both are in fabulous restaurants, both have world class photographers, flowers and music, and I know both will be beautiful. One has 32 guests, one has 12.

There is still planning, and there's still money spent, but at the end of the night, those couples will have been able to have a lovely time and actually interact meaningfully with their immediate family and friends.

I did a big wedding for my first, and when I got married this time it was the small wedding I always envisioned. I'm solidly on #teamsmallwedding.

I got to spend a lot of time with each of our guests. I got to enjoy the whole day, eat the full dinner and was surrounded by so much love. Do what you want to do!

I agree with Celia. #teamsmallwedding over here too. My sister had a huge wedding and she says it was a big blur of blank faces. There were so many people she didn't even know who was there.

So elope. This should be a fun exciting time in your life. If something is ruining that, fix it.

It's sounds like you don't want all the hubbub and all the bills.

Neither did I, so I'm having a 12 guest wedding. That might be extreme but surely you can narrow it down to close family and friends..?

And don't accept money from your parents. that will immediately cut the guest list because you don't "have" to invite anyone on their list.

I feel you. I feel the same way, my parents were chipping in money but my dad was recently diagnosed with cancer but is refusing to take back that money, I wanted a small wedding, strictly family, but FH feels he needs to invite every person he knows. I've cried so many times and i have basically zero interest in planning. Have a wedding you can afford. Do what YOU want to do, don't let other people talk you into things.

We originally planned on having a large wedding. 250 people and that was cutting out alot of family. We didnt want to exclude anyone but then we started looking at venue and just too feed everyone with nice meal was about the amount i wanted to spend on the entire wedding. We decided to have a small (30 person) wedding and reception with just imediate family and out wedding party. I was one who wanted to elope TBH but FH wanted a little more tradiotional so that was our compromise. We are so excited and the planning has been way less stressful than if we would have opted for a larger wedding. Less than 5 months out and we couldnt be happier with our decision.