BYOB and Potluck - Count me ...

Potluck is not hosting a wedding. If you only have $1000, invite a very small number of people to the ceremony and out for a nice dinner. I second what Jessie said, I host grown-up parties at my house with more than enough alcohol and tons of food where I don't ask anyone to bring anything!

Potluck is only acceptable in a couple of small religious communities where I understand that it is the done thing (I believe this is how Quaker weddings are done) but in those cases, most of the guests are also going to be Quaker.

What gets me is they're only having 28-30 people. You could easily provide catered food & drink for 28-30 people for $500-600 from a local BBQ place. Totally ridiculous.

The mess in the pictures :/

Ok, I found the words..... hideous

I think the part that killed me the most (aside from potluck/byob) was that she intends to box dye her hair the week before the wedding. She didn't mention if she consistently dyes her hair or not, but I still think <7 days is not a good Idea...

I have some cousins that live in a really rural area and don't have much money and all of their weddings have been in a similar style. i still go, give a gift and don't judge. it's a totally different lifestyle where they are from.

@Macy - My entire family is from a really rural area (the nearest city is an hour and half away), and I've NEVER been to a potluck or BYOB wedding. I've been to plenty of weddings in fields and backyards. I've been to weddings at campgrounds. I've been cake and punch weddings. I've never been to a potluck or BYOB wedding. All the weddings I've ever been to have been fully hosted with food and alcohol.

I could be wrong but that Community Cupboard kinda sounds like it's a 'for people in need' type resource. And she's going in a taking stuff for free for her wedding????

Wow

That Community Closet does sound like something we have on our military base for people who are in need of necessities. You're only allowed to take a certain number of items each time which is probably the reason she made multiple trips. That's absolutely horrendous.

Post like these is why I left the weddingbee site. I found it before I found WW, and I read so many post like these about potlucks, BYOB, honeyfunds and majority of the comments are all sugar coated comments. The honest comments on etiquette get over shadowed by the "its your day" comments. Everything about this "wedding" sounds like a disaster, even if her crowd is ok with potluck and byob she's doing way too much and not thinking about all the other details.

@Mlucheck: No. Just no. If you're going to have a wedding and HOST even PNE person, then you be a HOST and follow fucking ETIQUETTE like a decent human being. You don't shit all over your supposed "nearest and dearest" by passing the buck to them, when they're already spending as much to ATTEND this shitshow as the bride is spending on the ENTIRE WEDDING. Do you get that? Her GUESTS are spending MORE just to attend her wedding and paying to host FOR her, than she's spending. Let me break this down for you, since obviously you don't get it:

New clothes for female guest: $200

New shoes: $50

Hair updo: $50-$75

Men's shirt: $50

New suit if needed: $150-$200

Shower gift: $150

Wedding gift: $250

Transportation to/from wedding: $50

Hotel: $150

Uber to hotel: $50

We're already at $1200 guest expense IF THEY'RE LOCAL!! Now add food:

Potluck dish to feed 30, plus large enough pan for dish: $70

BYOB (most aren't so selfish as to only bring for themselves): $150

She is literally having her guests finance her wedding, in addition to bringing a present. It's incredibly gross, childish, entitled behavior, and anyone who finds it appropriate to expect that of your guests is just as bad.

You could also always do a nice, professionally catered and non mealtime, cake and punch reception for that much.

Yikes the word mis-matched does not belong in a wedding theme or any type of theme. I was done once I hit BYOB/potluck

If I was invited to this wedding. I'm wearing something I already own, not getting dressed up to eat burgers and hot dogs. I'd dress as if I'm going to a regular ass bqq. As for the dish I'm bringing a fruit plate from a local market, I'd probably bring a case of beer. As for a gift ha! Here is your case beer in lieu of gifts as you requested.

I hope she's upfront with all her guest.

The dress looks like old time underwear. But at least she was happy with it. I plan on having a red wedding dress or lack and white one and lots of people are going to dislike that. So to each their own I guess. I am glad I'm not the only one who thought that she was stealing from the needy.

Is it mean to call that dress hideous

I freaking lost it at hot dogs

I just checked how the original thread was going, and after 2 pages, there's only one poster who thinks it has to be a joke. Of course, someone ended up slamming that poster for criticizing another bride's choices.

I just can't ....

That was me haha i couldn't imagine she was serious dear god i cant with that fourm i tried to be nice as possible and not bring up the catastrophe she called a dress