Cake in the face voting

Anna, that's a really cool way to do a cake smash! And that's great that you all had so much fun with it. Cake smashes aren't really my thing, but that's just my personal opinion. If both people agree to it and think it's fun, what's the harm, you know? I don't think it's really disrespectful in a situation like Anna described...

Hm - I had reasonable expectations that people would be respectful and not judgmental about my post. Here's why:

Vows of Conduct:

Keep the forum positive.

Respect fellow community members.

Choose your words wisely.

If you don't like it, don't respond to it.

I'm sorry for assuming everyone would pay attention to the words on the sidebar. I guess basic respect *isn't* all that common, not even for the rules of a forum everyone is supposedly following along with.

And, since we are so free to respond to others with our opinions, I do think it's old fashioned. I don't always think it's bad to be old-fashioned. But when you let your opinion get such importance that you use it to judge others, you've moved past old-fashioned.

I don't understand why people find it so hard to follow the forum rules. I guess that old-fashioned is a pick and choose thing, since so many people decide to forget one of my favorites - if you don't have something nice to say, keep it to yourself.

If anyone is interested, here's pics:

Oh - and if the cake smashing sounds fun, but the dollar voting isn't going to work at your wedding (unlike mine since it was guest requested) you can do like I almost did: everyone gets a token (like the flat "fish tank" marbles we often use for floral decorations in your wedding colors). They then put their token in the vase as their vote. Then it would be the newlywed with the most tokens who would have the cake in the face.

I had already bought the marbles and ended up using them somewhere else. But it's an option for people who think that having money involved in any way is tacky.

Last pic. His face after, which he was able to wipe off with napkins. I, on the other hand, had to wash my hand in a sink.

@Anna W. I respect your opinion to find those of us who disagree with you, "old-fashioned". We may respectfully disagree with your opinion on that.

Anna, overall WW is quite respectful, especially compared to most forums. I don't think anyone meant to insult you with their comments. They just disagreed and might have felt like saying "DO IT!" in your post was starting a debate? I don't know. But I don't think anyone meant to offend you with their responses.

I think it is a clever idea. I have been to several weddings (and my first wedding) where cake smashing was done and it's enjoyed by the guests who get a laugh from it, the newlyweds have fun, it's all good. If your not into cake smashing, then don't do it. It's only disrespectful if one specifically asks not to get smashed with cake and the other does it anyway. As for the money games, they have been common at wedding for years. Not something you see at weddings of the wealthier, historically. I was born and raised in Appalachia, and it's not considered tacky where I come from. Personally, I'd be uncomfortable planning money games, but if guests take it upon themselves to do them, so be it. In families that were poor, the games would raise enough money for a couple to go on a honeymoon, for example, even if it was just a night in a nearby hotel. Picture this,,,poor struggling families that live in a large farmhouse full of younger siblings, grandparents, aunts and cont..

I think smashing cake in your future spouse's face is a total disrespect. I don't see anything cute about it and I sure don't see how asking guest to pay for it shows anymore respect. This was def something that we happily left out of our wedding reception.

I think it depends on the couple. I don't think it is fair to say it is disrespectful for all couples if it is just agreed and a little light cake smashing. Yeah, everyone is a bit judgy on this, I see. To each his own.

We threw cake in the BM/MOH's faces. like he fed me, I fed him, we looked like we were about to throw it in eachothers faces and went over our shoulders into their faces. The pictures were amazing! the BM's face was priceless!

Uncles etc..newlyweds who'll live with parents and work a farm, or live in a coal mine town and can't afford their own place or have to help the rest of the family afford to live have no privacy to go home to, so that 1 night in a hotel they otherwise could'nt have afforded would mean the world to them. Granted, most of us have come a long way from times of Little House on the Prairie or the stereotypical Hillbillies (except the Clampets who struck oil) but in some families, communities, regions, these are tradition. From $1 shot games, auctioning remaining bottles of liquor with only an ounce or two left in them, to any other number of money games, that has been going on for years and will likely continue for many more. Tacky vs tradition...Like Alan Jackson sings, "It's Where I Come From". Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. What's tradition to one may be tacky to another, to each his own, we can express opinions w/o disrespect.

Anna H: I totally feel ya about everything and your frustrations. Also, you were a stunning bride

You were way nicer than I was lol. We didn't set rules, and the people that got cake to the face didn't know it was coming! I can't find the picture of me hitting the BM, but here is my husband hitting the MOH and then a side view of after I started helping the BM clean up. I made sure I had the majority of the frosting on my piece, so my MOH wouldn't get too much frosting that would stain on her..

I totally agree with you Terri

I think people need to loosen up. Also, what works for you, may not work for others. It is not disrespectful just because you feel it is. It is the couple's special day and people forget you can be playful and just have a good time.

I too have a TON OF RESPECT FOR MYSELF...WOW. I don't respect for myself because I am going to be playful with some cake. Lets stop acting like stuck up celebrities. We are normal people.

Every wedding i went to had dollar dances and smashed cake in each others face. personally we decided not to do either (it's just not something we want to do) but i totally think it was a cute idea and probably went over really well at your wedding and you probably had a lot of fun with it!

What is right for one couple may not be right for another. To sit there and say don't post on my thread, you don't own ww or the entire internet. Did anyone straight up call YOU tacky and disrespectful? No. We simple gave our opinions to the tradition itself.

If you had fun with it, great! That's all that should matter at the end of the day. You had the wedding you wanted.

Actually, someone did. I reported the posts, and now they're gone. The people disagreeing now are at least doing it in a way that isn't hurtful.

We don't all have to agree, and this post now has lots of comments showing that. Now that it's all just comments that are just opinionated or politely disagreeing I have no problems.

I hope some other future brides who'd like to do something like this find the idea useful. And to the people who've mentioned that culture and background make the difference on what's tacky or not, thank you. It felt good to see other people understand. I think where we come from makes a big difference in the decisions we make.

Lastly- I'm replying on my phone so I can't see who said it, but thanks for the compliment!