Calling it off.

Yikes Laura, I hate this for you.

Wedding planning is simply not always as glamorous as it seems before you are planning one yourself. And adding postponing and changes like lots of brides are having to do doesn't make it any easier! I'm sorry you're feeling defeated and less than magical during this season.

I think rather than calling off the wedding, maybe you should sit down with your FH and talk about it with him. It sounds like you have a lot bottled up and should be leaning on your fiancé through it. I would try explaining your thoughts and frustrations with him and see if you can work through it together.

I've said this a zillion times on WW (sorry if it's cheesy and annoying LOL), but I am so guilty of letting wedding planning get to my head to the point of starting fights or just being down thinking I'm not doing something "right". My FH has a saying that's literally changed my entire perspective of this season we're in -- "I'm looking forward to the day after our wedding". It's so signifiant because that's the real day, the first day as husband and wife. Try to keep your eyes on THAT day!

Good luck, love!

Laura, I am so sorry for what you're going through! I wish I could give you all the answers and advice, but I honestly don't have them to give. What I can do is offer my love and support and encouragement that you're absolutely not alone in getting so frustrated with everything. I wish you all the best and sincerely hope this works out for your best. I do have a couple suggestions, though. 1 - take some time off from planning. When it gets super stressful, it's often best to take a step back to get some clarity and calm going. Take a day to treat yourself and relax. 2 - Definitely sit down and have a heart to heart with your fiance. It's possible that he just doesn't really understand all that goes into planning and everything you're feeling right now.

I will be honest with you I was one of those people who was naive and always rolled my eyes at a bride who was complaining about planning her wedding I was thinking this is a day about you and your groom why are you stressing just pick a shade of blue. However, I learned quickly from planning my own that is simply not true. do you know how many shades of purple there are, and planning with constant drama with mother etc so I hear you I would write down what you don't like about the wedding and change it

Laura,
I'm so sorry you're going through this! What type of surgery does your puppy need? I hope it isn't something too serious. That way you don't have to pay too much towards it if it is not really necessary. As for your wedding, have you already put a deposit on the venue? What type of wedding do you want vs. what your FH wants? Maybe the two of you really need to sit down and talk this through. Have a list and put down your expenses of what you guys are willing to spend for the wedding. Also put on the table on how you feel. And just like what the other girls said that while this is an important day, it is just for ONE day. What truly matters is what happens after the wedding as you will live as husband and wife Good luck hun!!

Sounds to me like you need to just scrap it and elope.

I'm only semi-joking.

First thing is first: step back and take a break. If the date on your profile is accurate, you have four months until the wedding? Breathe. Take a full week of absolutely no planning or talking about the wedding.

Then, ask yourself what you want out of your wedding. You said the venue is one you hate - is there a reason you're stuck with this venue? What about your wedding do you hate, and what can you do about it? Is it too big? Have a clear idea of what you are wanting, or what will make you happy. Also have an idea on what you will be willing to compromise on that you will still be happy.

Then, sit with FH and have an open discussion. Explain that the wedding is stressing you out and making you unhappy. Now is the time to have a reevaluation - clearly he has an idea of what you guys can reasonably expect money-wise, but he shouldn't just outright be like "no way" and offer no solutions. Let him know that you respect that he has your budget in mind and that he's crunching the numbers, but that he has to also help plan around those numbers - he can't just tell you the number and then dump the figuring out part on you. Talk about what you're both want and what compromises can be made.

If that conversation doesn't go well (either you don't resolve anything or you get mad at each other, etc), then it's time to take a real break, consider major postponement (like next year), and go to counseling. Don't call the whole thing off until you've given yourselves a fair chance. The language in your post suggests that this is just the stress of this event, not that you don't actually love or want to be with FH. That's completely okay, and exactly why you should consider counseling first before calling it off.

Sorry you are going through this. It should be a happy time for you, not stressful and upsetting. Best of luck.