I am the bride's sister-in-law, and I am a bridesmaid. I offered to host the wedding shower. I am fully expecting to do 90% of the work and expenses, however in talking with several people they mentioned that the bridesmaids should pitch in as it is customary, and I should reach out. About a month ago, I did reach out to the bridesmaids (there are 8 including me) I let them know the date and time of the shower and the venue which I have paid for. I told them the theme of the shower and told them I would soon be planning decor, food, invitations, party favor, games, etc. I told them if anyone of them would be willing to help in any way that it would be greatly appreciated even it if was setting up before the shower. One responded that she would help in anyway. Another (her sister) responded that her and her mother (also the bride's mother) would help set up. The other bridesmaids did not respond including the maid of honor.
I let that sit for about a month. I've gotten advice that I need to be more specific and give the girls a specific task or thing to purchase or bring. I made an amazon list of things needed for the party. There were very inexpensive items (plastic forks, plastic punch cups, plastic table cloths, etc. ) I sent out another message to the bridesmaids letting them know that I had made an amazon list of things that needed to be purchased for the bridal shower. I asked them to look at the list and if they could choose one thing to purchase that would be so helpful. I asked them to let me know what they picked so I would not buy too (as I fully expected to buy most of the list). Not a single bridesmaid text back. Not a thumbs up, not anything. I even messaged the bride to make sure I had all the numbers correct and she said yes but I had left one out. I personally messaged the one that was not included in the group message and she did not respond.
My first reaction was a little angry./ hurt. These women are all willing to go to bachelorette parties at the beach but they can't pick up a pack of plastic forks for the bridal shower? I don't know if they think it was rude of me to reach out to them and so they are just all agreeing to not respond or what. Then I started thinking maybe I was in the wrong and I shouldn't have asked. What is your opinion?
**A little background. I did offer to throw the shower when the bride first got engaged. When first discussing venues, she mentioned the church would throw her one. (She was not a member, so I was confused and I let it be.) In the meantime she actually changed churches and started visiting her fiancé's childhood church. (She is still not a member) A family member had mentioned that she needed to have a co-ed wedding shower and the bride tapped me on the shoulder and said oh well talk to this person right here. I said oh I thought the church was going to throw you one and she said she didn't remember saying that. I told her no problem. I told her I would throw her one but was she interested in doing the co ed and she said yes. (That doubles the number of guest). So I have been a little taken back but still plan on throwing her a lovely shower. I just thought the bridesmaids could pitch in a little bit.
