Can I invite some kids, and not others?

Short answer: you CAN, but be prepared for pissed off parents!

It's not abnormal to limit children to family only, but you can't invite kids in the family and select other children and exclude others.

And may I be so blunt as to ask why his dad's friend is even invited? He isn't close to the couple- and that's what this day is about. Limit the guest list to people who know you two, not friend's of the parents, etc...

But yeah- if you invite children who aren't related, it's all or nothing.

Honestly, I think it is rude--it's not just an issue of being close with the kids, but of basically defining different classes of guests: people who have to find childcare and people who don't. The only time I think it's acceptable to invite some kids but not all is if the children who are invited are in the wedding.

Ehhh...I totally understand where you're coming from, but unless the kids who are invited are actually in the wedding, I think you're going to have a lot of ruffled feathers.

The rule of them is to make one rule and apply it across the board; however, there are always exceptions. If you have a few close family friends who's children are special to you, then you should invite them. These children have a special meaning to you. I had six kids at my wedding - three flower girls and three kids of a close family friend of ours - because we wanted them there. Meanwhile, my (now) husband's best friend didn't even invite his best man's two kids. We had a special exception for our flower girls (obvious reason being they're in the wedding) and the other three kids. It didn't seem to matter with the other guests and no one asked if they could bring their kids.

And you have to figure...parents with six kids probably welcome the idea of having a night out for themselves!

Correction - I meant my husband didn't even his his best man's kids (not his best friend's best man's kids!)

Ugh.. That's what I was afraid of.

Oh and Meghan- Its his Dad's college roommate that was pretty much an "uncle" to FS and his brother.. They were really close. Now he's married and has lots of kids.. But FS has never really met them. He's just one of those people who he said he couldn't see NOT being at his wedding.

Aww an lolcat!! lol.

Do you have the opportunity to meet any of the kids before the wedding?

We are inviting FH's cousins' children b/c they have to come from out of state and children in the wedding party, other than that we set an age limit of 18.

The only kids that will be in attendance at my wedding and reception are my two nieces and four nephews. No other kids are allowed!

All or none ma'am. Sorry! There is an exception for BP members and your own children and nieces and nephews. But if you go the route of some not all, expect the upset guests and some bringing them anyway.

This is a really hard one. We included kids, but are lucky that a lot aren't going to travel across the country with them. It was hard for us b/c just with immediate family we have about 18 kids…then add all the rest and we are in the 40-50 range. But we didn't have a choice for our siblings, then after that we thought everyone would be offended. For us it was a matter of who we wanted there.

Our other friends said no kids, even having to call people who kept adding in their toddlers on the rsvp card, to say they weren't having kids (even their own 2 month old was in a room with a sitter at the venue). It caused a lot of hurt feelings and in the end only half of the couple showed up and some not at all.

My sister didn't go to our cousin's wedding b/c she was told "through the grapevine of parents/aunts and uncles" that they didn't want kids there. So, to my sis she felt like her family wasn't important, so why would she take the time away from them to travel alone for it?

I'm with Cabell on this. You need to pick no kids or kids.

It's your wedding, do what YOU want!!!

I agree with Suzy

Personally ( I know it's not what "etiquitte sp? says) I am inviting the kids that I know and only inviting the adults if I don't know their kids. It happened then that my cousin (I did invite her kids) decided to leave them at home with a sitter bc she wanted a nice night out with her Husb.

One of my Sister's kids aren't coming bc it's too expensive for her whole fam to fly.

On my co-workers, I know they have kids but I just invited the adults. I think in that situation, they will understand that you want people there that you know and that know you. I don't think some of my co-workers would bring their kids anyway bc the children have no idea who I am.... Just my 2 cents. Do what makes you comfortable, OR that you will have the least regrets about. (pick your battles and all that.....)

I would love to say do what you want, it is your day.

However, it truly is all or none, except for the bridal party. Let's face it, some people want to take their kids everywhere, and others can't wait to get a night out alone.

At my first wedding, many moons ago, I made it very clear to those who did not understand the ettiquette of invitations, that children were not invited, except those in the bridal party. A guest actually ignored me, and brought her daughter along....RUDE! It caused problems in the family.

Good luck, the kid issue is one that is very sensitive!

U can do exactly what u want. People may be upset about this; however u cannot please everyone...only urself

I am getting married the day before you, and I have the same problem. I am realizing that bottom line, it is Our day. What we plan on doing with the few kids we are inviting, (Nieces&Nephews) is giving each one a small role, like handing out programs, bubbles, ect. If you don't know the kids, and the kids don't know you, the parents should understand. A wedding is a big expense, and with this economy you just can't invite everyone!! I would think the parents would like a few hours out without their kids. We are wording our invites Adult Reception!! If people have a problem with it ,so be it! It is your day!