Can I invite some kids, and not others?

So, I've been totally stressed about this as well. We originally said no kids, but my whole family is traveling to where I live (out of state) to attend the wedding. My fiance and I both have huge Catholic families. His family is such that his second cousins are our age and really close. However, there is some extended family that is "close" but extended enough that we're both in agreement that the buck stops here. So, I felt guilty making it really difficult for some of my cousins and very close friends who have kids to not have the option to bring them, especially when all of our families will be there. I figured it would all be great because I knew that the only kids that would come would be fine. However, my cousin decided to bring their three kids. I'm ok with that, but now I'm super worried that two of my fiance's extended relatives will be offended. It's not my intention, but we're going to have 250 people at our wedding and where does it end? I'm excited to have it be so large - we are grateful to have people who want to celebrate us. However, I hear everyday to "do what you want" but then people judge and are offended.

So, I'm not sure what to do. If my cousins weren't bringing their kids, I'd be very firm in our decision. But now, I don't know if I should call the two that would be offended and let them know that if they'd like to bring them, they can.

As far as the difference class of guests, I think it has more to do with out of town travel, hardship and overnight stays moreso than categorizing your guests of importance.

I'm in the same situation. My FH has two first cousins under 18 meanwhile I grew up with most of my second cousins. We originally were going no kids unless in the wedding (so it would have been my 2 under 18 nephews and his 1 nephew) and now I'm feeling pressure to invite these two cousins. He did live with them at different points in his life and my sister (also my MOH) is saying we absolutely can't exclude them. Now my mom wants to invite all of my kid second cousins and third cousins who are all 14 and under. And it will add quite a few to our guest list and were already almost maxed out on capacity. She's saying it will hurt her family's feelings. My sister says I don't owe anyone an explanation. I feel pulled in multiple directions and I don't know what to do because I feel like no matter what I do it's wrong and someone is going to be angry and upset.

View Quoted Comment This is the only kids invited to my wedding to. how did u include this on invites

I have a quick question not sure how I feel about this my sister son is getting married and he’s invited my granddaughter that will be six and not my grandson who will be 2 1/2 she says you’re not inviting toddlers to the wedding. But friends of ours are bringing their four-year-old, should this be bothering me or not.

View Quoted Comment 😂😄 I like this! Short and sweet - and kind of the answer I was looking for!

View Quoted Comment How is this working for you? We are in a similar situation. 6 kiddos coming from California/ Nevada to Michigan, all the other kids are local and old enough to stay home alone but I don't want to offend anyone. Initially, all were invited but since COVID we had to reduce our guest count and my family is much larger than my fiance's so we tried to keep things even as well.

If you have to ask "will someone be offended?" then the plan is rude.

While some may disagree, kids are an all or nothing thing. Adults (parents and non-parents) always get upset when they are told to leave kids at home and then someone else's kids make the guestlist, be it the flowerchildren or the bride and groom's kids. Have the rules consistent for everyone to avoid angering anyone..and they will never tell you they are upset as that is rude too, but you may not get invited to their future events as a result.

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Love this! there are only a few kids i could feel comfortable with at our wedding. there are so many kids ive never even met and I think its rude to expect a couple to pay for your kids that will scream the whole time during your big day. Anyone getting pissed off can also decline an rsvp in my opinion (: