Can i uninvite a child from my wedding?

View Quoted Comment She wants you to pay for a babysitter??? Woooow.

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I want to say thank you to everyone who replied to this thread, with a special shout out to Melody.

This whole situation made me feel insane. I cried over it, I lost a night of sleep over it. Now that the emotions have calmed down, I can see clearly that what I was being asked to do was unfair and unreasonable.

I really appreciate that I had the affirmation of so many people on this site to convince me I wasn't crazy. I was called a Bridezilla for the first time and it hurt. But having everyone here helped me to stand my ground.

FINAL RESOLUTION: I said a firm and hard no. No more explanation or justification, I just said "that plan doesn't work for me" and gave the option for my cousin's kid to come with his grandmother. I also followed Melody's advice and said that if the cousin sends her son on the weekend, I will be directing him to the grandparents' care, not mine. If my aunt wants to stick up for my cousin, this can be her problem.

I'm definitely a people-pleaser and very sensitive so it was hard to say no to this and upset people. I felt sick over it. But I felt more sick thinking about all the things that could go wrong if I'm babysitting on my wedding weekend. It literally kept me up at night thinking of what in the world we would do if he got sick or hurt or homesick or lost the night before or of my wedding.

I also am kind of relieved that someone finally set a boundary with my cousin even though I wish I didn't have to be the one to do it. She has had a lot of mental health issues and some substance abuse issues and it's made my whole family walk on eggshells around her. I think that ended up biting us all in the butt. She knows exactly the words to say to make us do whatever she wants. She isn't talking to me now and honestly I'm a-okay with that at the moment.

I still don't know how to handle my sister. What she did was just so over the line...I think her heart may have been in the right place? But it just caused so much pain. Not ready to deal with that yet. Also some people suggested I ask my sister to care for the boy since this was her idea and *shocker* she wasn't interested. She brought up paying for a babysitter again.

So again thank you thank you THANK YOU! to everyone on this thread. Without all of you I'm not sure if I would have had the confidence to stand my ground.

P.S. I still don't know if my cousin actually has a work thing or if she wanted a weekend off or whatever. If I ever find out maybe I'll post another update.

"FINAL RESOLUTION: I said a firm and hard no. No more explanation or justification, I just said "that plan doesn't work for me" and gave the option for my cousin's kid to come with his grandmother. I also followed Melody's advice and said that if the cousin sends her son on the weekend, I will be directing him to the grandparents' care, not mine. If my aunt wants to stick up for my cousin, this can be her problem."

This is a fantastic update and I am so proud of how you handled this! Sticking up for yourself and setting boundaries are valuable life skills. Difficult, but worth it. The good news is that is gets easier with practice.

Omg no you are are not being a bridezilla or unreasonable. I would definitely let her know if she can’t attend he unfortunately cannot come. Remind her that this is your wedding day/wedding night and newlywed time that she is asking you to sacrifice to care for her child. Perhaps offer a virtual component and send a nice little wedding treat for her and her son to soften the blow. But honestly what she is expecting of you is a bit much. And to let him fly alone! And in covid-nation 😳

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You are so very welcome, beautiful! I'm glad you had the courage to stick up to her and that you're actively fighting for healthier relationships (even when that means saying "no"). I am beyond proud of you and wish you absolutely nothing but the best.

What planet does cuz come from, where this could possibly be considered reasonable?

You are not bridezilla at all!! That is quite bizarre that this woman would send her child somewhere alone, especially with COVID and the crazy people these days. Honestly, you could go the "safe" route on explaining to the woman. It is completely unsafe to send an 8 year old in an airport, so you are "worried" about him. You could also maybe get him like a ticket to a movie theatre or local like zoo/something fun to do that happens to be planned for the day of your wedding so that he would not be "let down" as she says. Honestly, if I was an 8 year old boy, I would not be dreaming of going to a wedding. I would NOT go along with it to appease her feelings. This is YOUR wedding and YOUR valuable time. You do not want or need anything more to worry or think about other than enjoying this time in your life and all of the things that wedding planning entails!

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Oh FFS. These people are all out of their minds. Just say no and refuse to discuss it further (easier said than done, I realize).

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Good for you! I'm sorry your family put you in this position, but you did a fantastic job of dealing with it. I hope you have a wonderful and stress-free wedding!