Can Married People Be Friends With The Opposite Sex?

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By sexually fluid I mean having intercourse with both sexes. For example, men that have sex with both men and women. Some might call it bi-sexual.

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OMG your one of the few men to every comment on my discussion post. Welcome! I hope you add your take to some of my other discussions.

You bring up a great point. I think that as long as attraction to someone doesn't become an issue then you can be friends without any concerns of it leading to infidelity.

View Quoted Comment I couldn't have said it any better and agree 100% with all of this! If you need to specifically set boundaries then there is an issue and it's not a platonic friendship. As long as you can recognize when someone is trying to be more than friendly, I don't think there is any problem having friends of the opposite sex. I have many and honestly get along better with them than my female friends! Lol

View Quoted Comment My fiance and I are not straight, most of our friends are not either. I assure you we do not need specail boundries with our friends. Again, a cheater is a cheater no matter what sexuality or situation, and if you have a relationship built on trust there's nothing to worry about.
Being worried someone who is bisexual, or otherwise identified, will need certain boundries is actually rather homophobic. I'd suggest more introspection for someone who was worried about such a thing. Oftentimes people worry about these situations because they are insecure and need their partner to communicate better.
Communication is very important.

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I apologize if my comment offended you. That was not the intention. I was trying to say that while my post is about opposite-sex friendships, sometimes it's not always the opposite sex that can interfere with the relationship.

I agree that a lack of clear communication in a relationship is what can lead to infidelity, not necessary who the partner is friends with.

I'm an engineer, and also work in an industry that's even more male-dominated than the average (only 14% of engineers in the US are women, and in my industry, it's even lower at 10-11%), so I work mostly with men and also have several good guy friends from college. If I was with someone who didn't trust me around the opposite gender, that would be a major issue! I did have a crush on one of my college friends during college, but FH knows about it and it's not an issue. Nothing ever happened beyond flirting (we were both single at the time), and we've been out of school awhile (6 years). He got married a couple years ago and I was so happy to attend his wedding (his wife is great!), and I'm excited for him and his wife to attend our wedding this year. I think it's really important to be able to trust each other and be honest about the past. I know about FH's past high school / college crushes and relationships, and he knows about mine.

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I love to hear about women working in STEM field! Kudos to you! It's awesome that you and your husband have an open and trusting relationship.

View Quoted Comment Ah! Well like we said before a cheater going do it if they want. 🤷 Takes two to tango and you gotta trust your spouse not to tango!

Of course! Valuing friendships of both sexes or genders is important to self-development. I will say, though, that the marriage should always be number one - that includes same sex or different sex relationships. And also, while a each person in the couple can (and should) have their own friends and shared friends, it would be weird to have a friendship super exclusive, where there is no type of relationship whatsoever with the other party. Like my guy friends who are more my friends also would consider my FH their friend as well. We go by the idea that "if it feels wrong, if you feel the need to hide it or lie about it, you shouldn't be doing it".

I'm perfectly fine with him having female friends, and this is coming from someone who (in another relationship) has experienced not just physical cheating, but also emotional infidelity with someone who was supposed to be "just a friend". Always trust your gut - if a specific friendship feels wrong (and you have been honest with yourself about whether you're a jealous person), then something is probably wrong.

View Quoted Comment Same! I spend most of my waking hours with men. Engineering is no joke!
My fiance and I just laugh about the passed stuff.
Thankfully many of my coworkers are married as well so it's not really a big deal for us all to be friendly.

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Definitely! I'm more against my husband being friends with exes than just other women. I don't want my husband to be friends with anyone he has had sexual relations with, not that I don't trust him, it just makes me uncomfortable.

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I love the quote "if you feel the need to hide it or lie about it, you shouldn't be doing it". That is my feeling exactly.

Two of my best friends from college are guys. They are standing up with my on our wedding day. Two of my FH best friends are women, they are also standing up with him. These people are like family to us. Your friends are your friends regardless of gender.

View Quoted Comment I think that is very logical.

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I am perfectly okay with my husband keeping close female friends that he had before we got together but him making new close female friends after we started dating is different. My husband feels the same way where my male friends are concerned.

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But still, I think it's possible to be friends with an ex if the proper boundaries are set.

I guess my question would be, why not?

Is it because you might be attracted to them? I make the choice to be with my FH every day and he does the same. Our relationship is built on trust and open communication.

If this were true due to the possibility of attraction, would that mean folx who are bi or pan aren't allowed to have friends when they are in a relationship because they are attracted to all genders?

I guess I am having trouble wrapping my head around why this is a question.

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Why would new friends be any different? I don't get it....

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Different people might have their own reasoning for not wanting their partner to be friends with the opposite-sex. I posted this question because I've had this discussion with friends and everyone had vastly different opinions so I thought it might be an interesting topic to explore. My husband and I don't have issues with friends of the opposite sex, but then again we define friends very strictly. We have many associates of the opposite sex, most of which are co-workers, but none of which we hang out with outside of work. In one of my comments, I also noted that it's not only members of the opposite sex that you can cheat with. However, in most heterosexual relationships that it the case.

View Quoted Comment A great topic to bring up! I’m fine with opposite sex friendships but I will openly admit if my FH is friends with someone he has had intercourse with then that would make me nervous. That’s more to do with past relationships though. I’m fortunate not to be put into this situation with my FH.