Can Married People Be Friends With The Opposite Sex?

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We wonder about the circumstances surrounding this "friendship" like where did you meet and what is the intention behind the friendship? It's definitely okay to meet friends at work but if you're at the mall or bar would you exchange numbers with someone of the opposite sex and start a friendship with them? It just seems kind of weird and one of the slippery slope things. Most of our friends are from childhood, work, school, or by means of other friends. I hope that clarifies.

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Exactly right?! It's just one of those grey areas I don't want to be in.

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I think if anyone is worried about their spouse's potential for infidelity to the point of dictating who they can and cannot be friends with, that is a huge red flag.

Boundaries with specific people are one thing (exes and such). Dictating you can't be friends with an entire gender due to the possibility for infidelity is a much bigger issue that needs to be explored.

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Very well put, I agree with you.

No, I can't deal with that

Absolutely married people can be friends with the opposite sex. Trust is the biggest part of any kind of relationship, especially a marriage. In my case, FH and I come from the same group of friends, most of which are guys. They are all like brothers to me and I'm extremely close with them and FH knows that their friendship is a big part of my life. He also trusts me not to do anything. It's never about not trusting the other person, it's always about the trust you have in your partner, and if you cant trust your partner, then you shouldn't be marrying them.

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Hmmm. Please tell me more.

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Have you ever heard a man say "it's not that I don't trust you [the woman], I just don't trust him [the male friend]"?

Of course it's okay to be friends with the opposite gender as long as there is a line drawn. If you are both good friends with this person, it's fine to hang out with them. However if it's someone your SO doesn't really know and they are uncomfortable with you being alone around them, I don't think it's okay to go out with them. I had a really close guy friend for 5 years that I would go eat with and my FH was totally fine with it. Then one day he tells me FH is all wrong for me and that he is actually the right guy for me and that I should break up with FH. So it's kind of hit or miss. It's definitely a conversation you need to have with your SO before you do anything that gets you into hot water.

View Quoted Comment I have. My ex used to say it to me all the time. In my opinion it means he has trust issues that he needs to work on internally. It should never be about trusting the friend or the other person. When you are in a relationship, or married, you should be able to trust the person you're with. Meaning, if your partner is hanging with a friend of the opposite sex and the other person makes a move on your partner, you should have enough faith in your partner to A)Stop the situation or B) remove themself from the situation by any means necessary. If you cant trust your partner that means one of two things; the first being that you have trust issues and the second one being that your partner has been unfaithful before (in which case it is valid to not trust them). However in a relationship of any kind, there should be no trust or blame placed on the third party. If your partner cheats, then it's on your partner,they knew that had a significant other and still chose to cheat regardless.

View Quoted Comment Definitely! If the spouse gets a new friend of the opposite sex after we’re together, hackles will go up. I’m not as comfortable with that situation at all. But friends from before/long term friends of the opposite sex are completely possible

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I agree that opposite-sex friendships are okay if the line is drawn.

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I agree that if your partner cheats then they have no one else to blame, it was a personal decision.

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Great minds think alike.

Unfortunately many women do not agree with guys being friends with girls so I've lost most of my guy friends throughout the years when they started more serious relationships. But my husband and I kind of merged friends years ago and now we have a group of guys and girls that we primarily hang out with.

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Does your husband agree with you having male friends from your childhood?

View Quoted Comment I agree with this!!!!

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Yeah! We went to the same high school actually so one of my guy friends was friends with both of my husband and I before we knew each other and my other good guy friend is now super close with my husband and has become like part of our family. So my male friends are both of our friends! Which, after being together for 9 years it isn't surprising that we've merged friends.

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Oh, I see, that makes sense.

This has never been a discussion for us. When my FH and I started talking of course I had ton of guy friends- A lot of them wanted to be more so in this situation I only found it respectful to cut ties because I didn't want to disrespect my FH in any way. He never asked me to do this. It was my choice.

The same went for him he had a ton of girl friends all in which wanted more from him and he cut them off when we became an item.

Not because I asked him to, but out of respect for me.

He has a ton of guy friends I have a ton of girl friends but in reality we really don't hang out with anyone. We focus on our little family. I guess it's just something that slowly faded the opposite sex friendships. Why do I need to be texting or calling another man when I have one forever? That's the way I see it. Now I am friends with his guy friends and he is friends with my girl friends.

Most of our friends are married couples and we all hang when we do hang (not very often) it's what works for us.

We don't forbid opposite sex friendships we just focus on each other. We honestly don't have time to entertain any kinda friends right now lol.