Can You Be Independent In a Marriage?

View Quoted Comment Well like I said you should be able to, not being able to is a red flag.
Ultimately independent is defined by not needing someone for sustiaince or livelihood, and free from control. Which loops into my first comment, can you both function without one another? If you can I'd say yes you are independent, weather or not you ever need to do it is solely situational.

View Quoted Comment

If you don't plan to rely on your future husband for your livelihood then what is the point of getting married?

(you mean whether by the way)

View Quoted Comment I currently support us both just fine? I'm not sure why I'd give up my higher earning job? The point of marriage is team work, how each couple defines that is different.
For myself and my fiance I earn the money and he intends to be a stay at home parent when the time comes.
However if something were to change we could each function on our own to support our family and selves, and to me that is the definition of independent within a marriage.
But for each person it is different. This is simply our model.

I guess a more efficient way to put this would beIf your partner died, was otherwise incapacitated, or you had a divorce, would your life be in ruins and would be unable to live or function?If yes, then you are independent.
If no outside reasonable mourning/grief/ect then you are independent and hopefully just won't need to do it.
Some people literally cannot function without their spouse and some people can. That's the difference in my sole opinion

View Quoted Comment I didn't say you should give up your job. What I said is you rely on one another for survival, that's what marriage is. Yes there are aspects of you where you have your independence such as having your own hobbies and friends but when you are married your lives are interconnected.

View Quoted Comment Of course you could function alone, you were born alone and will die alone but while your here with your spouse the idea is to cleave to them and share in the partnership. There is a dependence there. You would be a fool to not know how to do anything on your own especially considering you had your own life before they came along. People in relationships are a lot more dependent on one another than individuals who are single, but that's okay because that's what a partnership is. There is a balance to your dependence and independence when your in a relationship. That's why my question was "if married couples are to function as a team then can you be independent in a marriage? If so, to what degree?"

There are levels or degrees to it.

We always say that we make a great team because we each bring something different to the table. We are the typical "opposites attract" kind of couple so when I don't know something or I'm genuinely not good at it, he usually is. Being such different people but both being able to bring something beneficial to both ourselves and each other is what makes us a good team; but the strengths we each have individually are what make us capable, independent individuals.

View Quoted Comment This is an interesting perspective, thank you for sharing.