Cancelled Wedding - Do i Pay Bridesmaids back for dresses?

There should be no risk involved in participating in your friend’s wedding. You should refund their money.

See if they can get money back first if not must refund yes

I'm telling my bridesmaids that if we have to go to Plan C (which is immediate family only), that I will cover the cost of their dresses.

I think if they can’t refund their money from the vendor then I would try to refund them myself.

Honestly if it was me. The one who cancelled should not expect you to pay them back, but the one who was still planning on going either refund them for the dress or let her still come. What’s one more extra person.

This is something that I was thinking about as well. If we move to Plan C, we’ll be eloping with potentially only our parents in attendance. That means my girls will have no need for their dresses. I’ll be repaying them for what they spent on the dresses as I don’t think it’s fair for them to have spent money on something for my wedding for it only to not happen the way it was planned.

I don't know what is considered customary, but I agree with your mom; I would absolutely try to pay them back for as much of their expenses as you can possibly afford. They wouldn't have spent that money at all if you hadn't asked them to spend it. Now, they may decline your offer out of politeness and it's fine to take them at their word.

The reasons you cancelled the wedding are irrelevant to whether or not you should try to reimburse them.

I think you should pay them back. Including the one that cancelled, if it was related to COVID concerns. That bridesmaids would have been in a difficult situation with balancing her duty as a friend with her own health and safety...she shouldn't be punished for prioritizing her own life/health. You could have postponed the wedding (so the dresses would still be used) but are instead cancelling, so IMO the right thing to do is refund.

If at all possible, I think this would be the right and a gracious thing to do. Daughter was a BM in a wedding that got called off < 6 weeks before because the bride finally woke up and realized it was a huge mistake. Understandably, the bride was a mess and embarrassed, but she never offered reimbursement for anything including an ugly dress and gold stripper-type stilettos that daughter would NEVER wear.... Daughter was bummed. She was a young college student at the time and the money was a pretty big sacrifice for her. She eventually donated everything to Goodwill because she had no use for it. I'm sure you're having a tough time with all the things that aren't going as you planned, but if you can help out with the dresses I imagine your BMs would really appreciate it.

After reading all the replies and talking with my fiance we decided refunding them the money for the dresses to the two bridesmaids was best.

My cousin who had cancelled was because she couldn't get the day off work and nothing to do with covid concerns. However as mentioned in a comment, I would never punish someone for prioritizing their health or life over my wedding. This was not the situation though. Regardless, I will be refunding both bridesmaids. My question was out of what is customary to make sure I was doing the right thing.

Thank you all!

I would at least offer to reimburse as much as possible. If it’s an issue of finances, let them know your plan on when you can pay them back.

I don't know I have never heard of people paying their wedding party back for the money they spent on a canceled wedding. I feel like if you are in a wedding and it gets canceled it's kind of the risk you take being in someone's wedding. People cancel weddings all the time at all stages of the wedding. I mean it would be a nice thing of you to pay them back for the money spent on a canceled wedding, but I think I'd see if they all could return it first for a full refund before you eat the cost.

View Quoted Comment That's a thoughtful choice, at least to offer. One brides maid had to bow out (she's international and was afraid she may not be able to return from US) and I offered as well - she rejected! Lol
Good luck with the new plans, I hope it reduces your stress.

My first thought is no i wouldn't offer to pay them back. i was a BM is a wedding and we did all the stuff leading up to the big day. vegas bachelorette etc. and the couple ended up cancelling, then getting married in a private ceremony just her and her fiancé (a few close friends, my self included we're invited but couldn't make it on such short notice) and then ended up still having the bigger wedding 3 months after the original date. i never once expected to be reimbursed for funds i'd spent as a part of her bridal party. she did give up the freedom to chose our own dresses with in a certain color palette and so i chose a dress i loved and knew i would wear again. not sure if that makes a difference.

View Quoted Comment Exactly I was a bm in a wedding that got canceled to. The couple ended up breaking up a week before the wedding and none of us in the wedding party expected to be reimbursed for the money we spent on a wedding that got canceled. Like I said it's kind of the chance you take when you agree to be in someone's wedding. Weddings get canceled all the time for various reasons and at different points of the wedding planning process. Sometimes you get lucky and it gets canceled before you spend any money and sometimes it gets canceled a week before the wedding after you already paid for everything. It sucks but it is what it is.

Maybe you could buy the dresses off of them (if they're unaltered) and resell them on poshmark or ebay?

View Quoted Comment That's exactly what I would do, so that way I'm not losing all my money on all those dresses. Some brides have like 10 bridesmaids and reimbursing them for the dresses could be very expensive.

I'm curious was this because of covid? I am currently experiencing something. Our wedding is not until June 19, 2021, but I am trying to just plan for the worst now versus later. I have five bridesmaids and three hostesses. What should I do?

My current thought is to reduce the guestlist and still leave everyone in their current roles. I checked with the bridal shop and they are saying no refund.