Cannot win - anyone else feel this way?

Sorry you guys are having such a hard time. Hang in there!


What exactly is your family opposing? This should be about you guys but I under that you’d want your family there so you’re looking to compromise

What’s causing you to consider an elopement?


If it’s because of family getting involved then don’t involve them. I planned everything on my own involving FH In decisions he wanted to be involved in and I had a pretty good experience because of this.
Maybe take a step back and start over with just you too. It will save you a lot of headache.

Oh I hear ya. I've posted about how we were supposed to get married in his parents backyard and his parents pulled the plug 2 months before our wedding because of my mom accidentally making my bridal shower for a day his mom has a wedding to go to.


We decided to elope then my parents became upset because they would miss their only daughter getting married. So we decided to to try and get a new venue. Now that we might have found one his parents want to try and invite more people. If we hadn't spent so much time and money on this wedding and we weren't 2 months away I'd say f all them let's elope.
It seems for a lot of people that the families of the 2 people getting married tend to forget what the day is about. They always try to turn your wedding into a reunion party.

View Quoted Comment This. All of this. Thank you, Katie.


Talking to all of the other brides I know I’m just hearing bliss and easy planning and thinking just why is this so difficult.
Thank you so much for sharing and the advice ☺️. Sounds like you were in quite a back and forth loop yourself!

View Quoted Comment One side is opposing elopement (want a big wedding but will settle for at least the parents at a ceremony with having a 100+ reception in the next year). The other side is opposed to spending more than $5k on the wedding and want their wants/needs to trumpet any planning. Doesn’t help that my fiancé’s side would be 95% of the people so my parents are seeing anything more than a city hall ceremony as waste of money for a family reunion for their side.


My fiancé is a student and we are still financing 50-75% the costs at least ourselves so we thought this would be easier. But all those family expectations are drowning us a bit.

View Quoted Comment Ya, it’s a lot of family opinions (especially from my side) and also my fiancé turning out to be more traditional in his wedding wants than expected (should have probably foreseen that one though when his parents talked about their 500+ polish wedding). Basically, stuck between doing a big party we don’t think is financially as worth it with all of our savings to satisfy fiancé and his family or doing an elopement so that we don’t have to invite his entire huge family (think each family unit has like 4-7kids and if one cousin gets invited they all have to be for the reunion scenario). While my family is now treating our elopement idea as an inconvenience but a vacation and want either something in the USA to be cheap or to just say peace out once they are in Europe and only see the other family/us for the wedding.

Both of us have fairly large families but only those who we really want are invited.


Maybe going away for a destination wedding might not be so bad & you could cut down your guest list. Just don’t let anyone tell you guys you should spend all your savings on a wedding...you still have an entire lifetime to plan/save for

YES. I was so excited for my ladies to start planning my bachelorette trip, but so much drama has come out of it so far. One of my bm's, who has met my MOH once, has been coming to me non stop about how much she's 'done' with the trip planning. She even told me last week that if the MOH picks Labor Day weekend, that she just wasn't going to go so 'eff' it. Literally her words...which hurt my feelings because I wouldn't act this way if the roles were switched.

I feel like I keep having to do damage control and calm my bm down. She keeps insisting that it's the MOH's way or the highway and that she isn't respecting anyone's budget, but my other bm has said that my MOH has been giving everyone plenty of options to choose from. It's just stressful lol so my other bm reached out to the one complaining to me and told her to stop coming to me about it and to just vent to her (bless her she's too sweet).

It's just frustrating because I want everyone to get along, and I really do think that my MOH and the other bm would be great friends, but my bm has this idea in her head that my MOH is a b-word and won't compromise with anyone, which isn't the case. It's honestly a bunch of miscommunication lol. I'm just trying to enjoy the rest of wedding planning and hoping my ladies get everything planned lol.

Also, it sounds like an elopement with just you two and a big celebration afterwards might be a good fit for your situation! My friends are doing this and eloped last month, with their celebration with everyone being planned for later this year.

They really loved that they had the time alone together to be married and go on their honeymoon. The only people they had to worry about were themselves, which they enjoyed.