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Can't attend a friend's bachelorette party

Jan7_11, on January 11, 2019 at 6:46 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 12

Hi, I would really love to hear some feedback in regards to my situation. I had been honored to be my friend's Bridesmaid in her upcoming nuptials. There is an upcoming bachelorette party that I had planned on attending. However, my husband JUST found out he got the job he has been interviewing for. We now have to plan our move, find a place and to make things more complicated he has to be gone for training for about two weeks in another state before beginning. And unfortunately it looks like his first day of work will be on the Monday after the intended bachelorette party which makes puts me between a rock and a hard place. I need to make sure for myself and my husband we have time to find a place and move in. On the other hand I would feel so bad to tell my friend I could not attend her bachelorette party. I'm not sure if she will be mad at me. However, even if I could not attend, I do intend to help pay for the cost of the bride's activities along with the other bridesmaids. I just want to hear some opinions on this. I'm not sure if i should just tell my husband to work out all the moving himself while I go to the bachelorette party or just tell my friend I could not attend.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Jan7_11, on January 11, 2019 at 5:10 PM
  • M
    Expert September 2018
    M ·
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    You seem like you thought it all out. If it's in the same area i guess i think you could probably step out for an hour to join your friend. But if that's too stressful or your mind will be in your husband i think she'd understand if you told her you couldn't come and explain why.
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  • Rayna
    Devoted July 2019
    Rayna ·
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    You haven’t described what kind of bachelorette party it is but assuming it’s not a trip I think you should try to join some of it. Everyone has had to move and I’m sure you’re friend will be understanding of why you couldn’t be there in your full capacity.
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  • J
    Jan7_11 ·
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    Thank you for your comment Rae! It's a weekend girl's getaway trip to Vegas. Where my husband and I will be moving to will be in Northern California. So it would be hard for me to join some of it Smiley sad
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  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
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    Since it's a trip I think she'll understand. Moving takes a lot of work and a weekend away while moving just doesn't work.

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  • Kenisha
    Champion June 2019
    Kenisha ·
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    I’m sure she’ll understand your move. Just talk to her about it.
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  • N
    Dedicated November 2019
    Nita ·
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    I think that if you’re friend gets mad at your for missing her bachelorette party because you and your husband have to move I would reconsider the friendship. Bachelorette parties are fun but you don’t have to put your life on hold because your friend is getting married, it’s not like you’re missing the wedding. It’s really nice of you to plan to help with the costs of the party even if you can’t attend!
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  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
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    If I were the bride, I think given the circumstances and the reason you have to miss out on the party, I wouldn't be mad at all. One of my bridesmaids was unable to make it to my bachelorette party because she was pregnant with twins and didn't have the ability to drive herself 6 hours to attend. I was fine with it. Now if you were just blowing her off, then that would be a different story lol. Bridesmaid or not, your life is yours. Don't feel any guilt - moving is hard work! Save your sanity. Talk to her honestly. Smiley smile

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  • Maria
    Super October 2019
    Maria ·
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    I would talk to her about it and hopefully she will understand. See if she would be willing to meet up for dinner and drinks with you, nail salon and massages, or movies and *explicit* shaped cookies at home at another time. You are still spending fun time with her and showing her that you care but moving is a totally acceptable reason to not go to the planned event.

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  • J
    Devoted June 2019
    Jasmine ·
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    As a bride, not having your ladies with you can be disheartening but with your situation I will def understand and I am sure she will as well. If the bridesmaid have a group you should let them know as well especially with the planning and splitting things they should have notice.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would just talk to your husband. Would he really care if you went to the bachelorette party? You could still call and text before/after his first day and I'm assuming you'd be settled in prior to that day.

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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    A destination bachelorette party is a huge ask to begin with, so it isn't reasonable to expect that everyone would able to attend anyway. Your friend should understand your situation, and if she doesn't, she isn't a very good friend.

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  • J
    Jan7_11 ·
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    I just want to say Thank you to all the wonder comments!! Smiley heart It has definitely been very helpful!! I will have a talk with my friend and hope she understands! Smiley smile
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