Can’t Even...

This would've pissed me off too! You just have to remember, you did out of the kindness of your heart and be done. Everyone isn't raised the same, and even if they were, they still make their own choices as adults.

Still kinda sucks though.

I have never attended a wedding that I received a thank you card. I send mine before the month mark specially because I was so grateful and happy with all my guest that I wanted to express that. I guess not everyone is the same and they do things robotic or out of pressure but not because they really want to do it. A thank you call or text would of being more touchy that their note. Sure is very rude.

Well because you did those things out of love and from the heart you shouldn’t worry about them being rude and ungrateful. People show you who they really are and although we know they were wrong you move on and continue to look forward to your special day!

View Quoted Comment That’s insane! I mean, who doesn’t send a thank you for a gift? I wouldn’t expect for attending, but when you take the time to order, wrap and bring a gift.....a handwritten note is in order.

A text or call in those months would have been nice of them to do after they were done being busy with the wedding. You said they live states away, you think the thank you note might have got lost in the mail a bit. I do know some mail takes quite awhile if it’s states away when I get sent some.

View Quoted Comment No I don’t. My best friend’s husband officiated, and they’ve never gotten one at all (and they live close by). And a postcard with only photos of the couple is hardly a thank you. I actually did think it got lost on the mail because that’s happened to me, but now I think they are just ungrateful and lazy. Sad.

Wait. Are we supposed to send thank you cards out to say thank you for attending the wedding? I thought that was mostly just for gifts...?

View Quoted Comment No, I’m upset because I brought a GIFT and the “thank you” note took 6 months then didn’t say anything. Just photos of the couple. THAT. Is rude.

View Quoted Comment Oh!! Ok that makes sense to me. I was really nervous for a sec about not having designed/bought wedding attendance thank yous! 😂

Ugh. I hate that! At least you got something. Been over a year and still waiting on thank yous from my cousins wedding! My whole family is miffed about that one, so I made double sure to send out thank yous!!

View Quoted Comment Generally speaking, the reception is the overall thank you to your guests for coming to the ceremony. Anyone who gives a gift at the reception should get a thank you. No gift, no thank you mostly. Although every wedding I've gone to I have always taken a gift (usually cash/check).

Now that you mentioned this, I realize that the last 3 weddings we’ve been to we haven’t received any thank you note (and yes I’ve always brought a nicely wrapped gift lol). And I didn’t even think about it. So to me, getting so stressed over this sounds unnecessarily dramatic 🤷🏻‍♀️ You go to a wedding & bring a gift because you want to & because you care about those people. It also sounds like these people are not that close to you, if in 6 months you haven’t talked to each other & are instead relying on a thank you note for them to express their gratitude. So I’d just let it go.

I wouldn’t say I’m “so upset,” just annoyed. There’s been several I’ve gone to and not received a thank you, despite bringing a gift. We don’t talk often, as we all live in different states. This one just sticks out because it was 12 hours away, and required a costume to attend. It was a lot of effort and expense. I suppose my point I posting is just to vent, as I said, and also - don’t be this couple. Please send a proper thank you to those who bring you a gift.

I think you're overreacting. You could have declined the invite and all that. Expecting a handwritten thank you is old school and I don't think I've ever gotten one for anything. I've written a few but they just get tossed out anyway, I'm not bothering with handwritten ones for my wedding.

That is so frustrating. Some people just really have no recognition for gratitude. But it is a good pointer to make sure that when I get married, I will be personally handwriting every thank you letter like I originally planned hahaha. But im sorry

View Quoted Comment It is still considered proper etiquette to hand write thank you notes, especially for your wedding. At the very least, a typed, “thank you so much for your thoughtful gift,” would be better. But be prepared for your guests to think you rude for “not bothering.” It does bother people, and it makes you seem grateful and entitled.

View Quoted Comment

It isn't old school. Everyone I know would think it was super rude to not receive a handwritten thank you note. My friend received something similar to the OP for a wedding she attended (and brought a gift to) and thought it was insanely rude. I view it as laziness when people don't do handwritten thank you notes. Personally, I know which couples sent us thoughtful thank you notes and which couples didn't send anything at all.

View Quoted Comment That's fine 🤷
If someone's going to get petty over a paper they're going to toss in the trash then I'm not worried about what they think.

View Quoted Comment My mom and her family are big on manners, and I'm sure that their being first generation in this country is why their parents insisted they learned manners for whatever culture they are in at the time. So I know how my first cousin (and neighbor) was raised. A couple of company manners meals a week at home, starting at a year old. 1 session to play with or wear a present after opening it, then no more ever, until a hand written thank you note was written. At 2 1/2 our parents would write down what we said in answer to questions. By 4 they would do the same thing, but we copied it in our writing. Then independently doing them, with parents scanning them, maybe taking a Polaroid of us with gifts. Manners lessons on the why of manners. And still before and after their recent weddings, 1 of my 8 brothers and sister, and 1 of this aunt's 6 kids, instinctively would choose the rudest way of deciding anything. Middle children, in mid 20's, all the rest of the family polite in important things: treating others with respect, and the way they wish to be treated. And with these two, I swear they used bridezilla as a role model. Do things the fastest way, the heck with anyone else. I can be as arbitrary as I want, and everybody better do what I want, or I will have a tantrum. I know what I want, and that is what you are supposed to give me, or I will give back you gift, and tell you what to go out and buy me, or give me money for instead. This was this sister's second wedding. She was great 8 years ago. My cousin decided to do her own shower. Because the 3 people planning one shower in one place, and 2 in another, we're not inviting enough people. At fancy places. Or pushing her registy by planning to send out cards for her to every guest. So she decided to invie 120 of her closest dearest family and friends. To a catered event in a hotel above her income. And all but 16 declined. But 4 who sent declines sent a gift. 3 we're etiquette books. . . . My point is no matter how hard families try, for many, people who were raised with simply nice manners, and still show them 3-4 years after leaving home, can be completely rude and self involved after a few years out in the world. It is not always a matter of " taught no manners."
And this past week every time I see my aunt's or grandmother or mom, I have been getting a chorus of,. Who doesn't send a thank you for a gift? When someone has thoughtfully picked out a gift, wrapped it and shipped it too you,

* a hand written note is called for. You would be welcome in any of my relatives' homes in exchange for these changelings! (Sorry, daughter pushed key and posted 🙂 when not done)