Cash bar and cash food???

My mom was actually shocked when I told her we were paying for ppl to eat. She told me " they all need to pay for their own plate." I said no, of course.

So yes, I've heard of it, and it's crazy.

No. Cash bar not okay. No cash silverware, no cash chairs. No cash nothing.

If a couple cannot afford a wedding, they shouldn't have one.

I could never imagine doing that to your guests.

Wow.

@Celia Milton I agree, i have personally never been to a wedding with a cash bar. But my FH family has had mainly dry weddings due to religion, one of his cousin's had wine at his wedding, we are doing full bar and in the cocktail they will have sangria available as well.

@mzj lol the things people suggest. I have been told to do the dollar dance, which is fairly common in hispanics families, but still i find it super tacky. No offense to anyone that wants to do that, but not for me, lol.

I think its better to have a dry wedding rather than a cash bar. Although I'd never do a dry wedding. Have heard of a cash bar, never food tho. Weird!

Echoing Celia...cash bars are not okay (sure, when compared to paying for food, they're the lesser of two evils, but they're still in the same category of "No Way!"). There is no part of anything that a couple is displaying at a wedding -- whether it's a bar, apps, a meal, dessert, or anything else, that should cost your guests a penny. Not a penny. Everything they've spent has been spent when they enter your venue. They should not have to even carry cash or credit/debit cards on them, because the evening is hosted.

If you don't want to host at least wine and beer and are sold on a dry wedding, then deal with consequences (which usually means an early end to your very expensive affair).

The idea of paying for a plate of food? That's nothing less than repulsive. If I were ever surprised by that level of offense, we'd walk right out the door -- gift in his jacket pocket. Then we'd go to a restaurant and have a nice dinner. The idea is just disgusting -- perhaps 1/10th of a point below potluck weddings.

Wow, that's ridiculous!

I think Delfina understands this plight. I'm pretty sure I read a post from her awhile back ago about attending a reception where she had to pay for her food.

It's really weird. I only heard of that because of that post. I didn't know that was even a thing.

@sagetree this has been my first time hearing of it too. I was icked by it so much, especially since their cousins that were in the BP talked about it in the kind of embarrassed way.

Omg

Wow that is horrible. I would have left, if I have to pay for my dinner, it will be something I order for myself and actually like. Can't even believe that, some people truly have no shame.

That's crazy

I have heard of this but I always thought it was a joke.. so mortifying!! Nope train to Nopeville

I am so, so confused by this.

Like, we can all disagree on certain etiquette things, but I've literally never heard of this one before.

A family friend from out of states actually said in Canada(where she is currently living) the guest actually pay for their food.

Yup, @SageTree is right! I went to a cash food wedding a while ago. It was BRUTAL. The energy in the room was so bad that, even though I know there was proper lighting, I still remember the room as being very dark because everyone was in that bad a mood.

@HisQueen - nope! I grew up in Canada and the only cash food wedding I've ever been to was in the States.

Yes, it exists. Brides have come to WW asking if it's ok to charge guests for meals because they can't afford it. Obviously they get shut down very fast.

There was also a regular poster who was invited to a wedding at a restaurant. She received a call the night before from the maid of honor saying that the restaurant didn't accept credit cards and they would have to bring cash for their meals. The poster was horrified because she had no idea she was expected to pay for her own meal at this wedding. It was awful.

ETA - oh ya, it was Delfina who went to the pay-for-your-meal wedding! Such a crazy story.

HisQueen - that's not true at all. I've never been to a wedding where I had to pay for my meal in Canada. You can't make a blanket statement like that about an entire country.

HIsQueen, you are 100% wrong, in my experience as a Canadian.

"Guests" should not have to pay for things at someone else's wedding. That includes drinks and food.