Cash Bar debate

I'm personally against cash bars because I feel your guests should not have to pay for their own drinks. You are hosting them to be your guests. They already had to pay to travel to your wedding (gas, plane, hotel, etc.), possibly buy an outfit/shoes,etc., possibly got you a shower gift and/or a wedding gift. I don't feel it's appropriate to require them to pay for their drinks on top of it. If I could not afford an open bar, I would postpone until I could or cut the guest list down or other things (programs, flowers, etc.) so that I could afford it. I've been to weddings with both and in my experience people are much happier and have a better time with an open bar. They tend to appreciate it and I've heard guests at weddings with cash bars make rude comments about it or just be annoyed by it.

While I'm in favor of an open bar. Sometimes it's just not a feasible option. We will be having a limited bar (venue's wording). We will have 2 types of beer on tap along with a red and white wine that we are paying for. There will be other selections of both wine and beer, along with hard liquor. However, if a guest chooses to any of those options they will have to pay for them. Just an FYI this is the norm where I am, I have been to about 4 weddings in my area that this is just what is done. I have been to 1 wedding with a cash bar, if people want to drink they will drink. I always carry my card or cash along with my ID.

I honestly don't feel like a bar either way is that important. The food and who you are sharing your special day are. If you can't afford an open bar but still want to provide people with the means to alcohol, then go with a cash bar, bring a limited amount of alcohol for distribution out during meal and/or toast or just make it a BYOB. But you can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time, there is always going to be someone who complains about something. So do what yall feel is right for yall

You would honest to goodness POSTPONE your wedding if you cannot afford to buy your guest alcohol?? I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. I do understand where you are coming from though, but when I am at a cash bar wedding I am not too bothered by the idea.

To me that just means that the guests clearly arn't that bothered by it if they keep going back up to buy drinks?

Personally I'm not a fan of cash bars. I just think it's poor form to make guests pay for something at your wedding when you are supposed to be hosting them. I have heard that cash bars are more of a thing in certain areas, though.

I will also say that having a cash bar isn't necessarily going to prevent guests from getting sloshed at your wedding. The people who want to get drunk, will get drunk. Having to pay for their drinks isn't going to stop them; if the alcohol is there, they'll consume it. I've always thought this was kind of a silly rationale for cash bars; I mean, having to pay for their own drinks certainly doesn't stop people from getting tanked at regular bars.

I agree, I think hosting an event means that you provide everything a guest needs to have a good time, including alcohol. Like another poster said, your guests are already potentially spending hundreds of dollars to travel AND buying you a present. I just honestly see it as rude to not offer alcohol. However, I have been to plenty of weddings that have been beer and wine only, or maybe a batch cocktail or two in lieu of liquor, and that has always been fine by me. As long as something is provided. I don't think any family or friend is going to be mad or not come because of a cash bar, but I just think you'll be better hosts if you don't have one.

Well I wouldn't have to postpone in my case because I wouldn't throw a big wedding in the first place if I couldn't afford an open bar. I would scale it back so that it was something I could offer, like I also stated.

ETA: Also, you were the one asking people not to be rude/childish and then you called my OPINION ridiculous, might want to take a look at what you are saying yourself being posting. :-)

I can't stand any event that passes costs onto the guests. It's a cop out. I agree with PP that I would seriously cut down on other parts of my wedding (guest list, decor, etc) in order to properly host my guests.

I honestly couldn't care less whether or not it's free or a cash bar. I've been to both before. While having it for free is nice, it's likely more will have a few too many drinks than if they are having to pay. I've drank freely and I've paid for however many I wanted to enjoy. I didn't see it as a burden - and I didn't hear any guests complain about it at the time. I've been to BYOB weddings. I've been to a few that only had hard liquor as well. I don't think you have to have alcohol to have a good time or to make everyone enjoy your reception. I think it's more of a location/know your crowd. Things here in the middle of the US are done quite a bit different than they are on the coasts.

I agree that a good host provides for their guests' needs. In our social circle, most people drink socially, so a hosted event includes alcohol. Most venues require a bartender, whose legal responsibilities include not serving people who are likely to surpass a safe/reasonable limit. I agree with a pp who said they don't really buy the logic of a cash bar as a means to limit drinking. For the most part, I think people have cash bars because they can't/don't want to pay -- at least be honest about it. While I can't really imagine a significant social event (except something like a kids party) that doesn't provide for alcohol, if you're truly dead set against serving alcohol (e.g., religious convictions, sobriety concerns, etc.) then have a dry wedding -- but own it. Don't make it a cash bar "because you don't want people to drink too much."

Also, if a couple is truly very limited financially, I completely get that and would be much more understanding of a decision for a cash bar. However, if they spend $$$ on things that don't impact guests (e.g., multiple wedding gowns, video drones, limos for the wedding party, favors that most people aren't going to take home anyway, etc.) and then have a cash bar -- I'm definitely rolling my eyes at them. (We've been to THAT wedding. Literally, TWO videography drones, a photo booth, two or three different favors personalized with the B&G's names/pictures/etc., a "suggested Black Tie" dress code, etc., ... AND, a CASH BAR for everything but water, coffee and tea. They didn't even cover soda.... Clearly, they had priorities and they weren't their guests.)

No rude comment from me, just honestly in a nice way, Cash bars are a REALLY tacky, because your guests are spending A LOT of money usually for the wedding, between a gift, clothing, transportation, in some cases lodging, only to have them expected to pay more? It isn't right. Most guests would be really offended by it. I know I would be. I know the bar bill can be really high, but that's not the fault of the guests and they shouldn't have to pay the price, literally. There are other ways to save money on the bar, most venues offer discounts for house drinks, then two venues i'm considering I can bring my own drink in