Cash bar...to Have or Not To Have

View Quoted Comment Hi..So legally I'm covered...no issues there. It's not a fundraiser tho which is where I am confused on peoples reaction. Alcohol is not mandatory but prefer to offer something other than nothing. I feel as tho a cash bar is better that BYOB and having different bottles of everything everywhere. I've talked to a few of my guest mostly family/friends and they are fine. I didn't do a registry and just gave a list of 5 stores they could get gift cards from or contribute to a honeymoon fund. I was thinking it would be easier to give them something back in return besides the favors. Thanks for your feedback!

This is even more rude than a normal cash bar. At a cash bar, the vendor (licensed to sell/serve alcohol) provides, serves, and receives the payment for the alcohol. That is what everyone expects if there is a cash bar - that the vendor is receiving payment for the product and service they are providing. It sounds like what you are proposing is to supply the alcohol yourselves and use it to profit off of your guests which is terrible hosting and using your guests as ATM's to fund your vacation. And no, just not telling them that you're using them for money isn't ok - I can't believe people are advising that.

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You're not giving them anything back if you're charging them for it.

View Quoted Comment Agree to disagree. A regular bar would charge so much more. It would be less than happy hour and my guest won't be offended. We aren't the type to get offended easily.

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That doesn't change the fact that you're wanting to use your guests for profit. There is no excuse that could ever make that an acceptable way to treat guests.

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This is becoming a real uphill battle.

You aren't giving your guests anything back! Guests are not required to bring gifts to a wedding! The amount of money that guests should be expected to contribute to an event to fully participate is $0. Your wedding reception is a gift for your guests, not a transaction between you and your guests.

Registering only for money is already rude enough. You are absolutely using your bar to raise funds for your honeymoon (you said as much), which is awful manners. You are not a charity and your event is not a fundraiser. Even if guests won't say it to your face, if you have a cash bar to raise money for your honeymoon, they will all be thinking this.

I would rather go on no honeymoon than do something so incredibly disrespectful to my guests.

View Quoted Comment There again agree to disagree. I see this is an issue for some and that's fine but we are 'tell it like it is group' so being honest to my face is not an issue.

I say do what makes you happy. It's your wedding and that's all that matters. We'll be having a cash bar for alcoholic drinks and then lemonade, punch, water, and pop will be free for guests. I don't think people should need to pay for their guests to drink especially when some take it too far. If they want to drink then it can come from their own wallet. I don't think cash bars are tacky one bit but that might be cause I'm from a more remote area and every wedding I've been too has had a cash bar. I do agree since you don't have a registry to just have a honeymoon fund.

View Quoted Comment Sorry you see it as such however I don't. If guest don't want to come than they have the option not to. If they don't want to drink, they don't have to. If they are coming for anything other than to see us on our day than they are the wrong type of guest. Thanks again 😊

View Quoted Comment It seems like you have made up your mind, despite multiple people detached from the situation desperately trying to explain how rude this fundraiser bar idea is. Do what you want, but like PP said, if I were a guest I would pay for a couple of drinks but probably not give the ~$100 cash gift I was planning to give.

View Quoted Comment TY and Congratulations 🎉

Why exactly did you ask for advice when you obviously have your mind made up? Making your guests pay for your vacation in order to drink at your wedding is so unbelievably tacky. They might not tell you that, but I assure you they will think it.

I see it as if you are going to make people buy drinks then don't even do a bar. People are not there to fund your honeymoon or anything else, they are there to celebrate with you. I find it to be very poor taste and kind of rude. People will most likely give you a card with money in it. If I went to a wedding where there was a cash bar I'd probably open up the card and take the money to pay for my drinks instead of giving it to the bride and groom.

And If you're cool with using your guests only as a profit you should make them pay for their food and cake as well.

I'm sorry but I just find this to be as tacky as inviting guests to your bridal shower who aren't invited to the wedding. It just screams very greedy.

Serve what you can afford. Do not serve anything that requires your guests pay for their own food and drinks. Figure out what areas to cut to be able to provide funds so guests don't have to pay. Skip favors, skip the photobooth and monogram on the dance floor, etc.


On the same token, have the honeymoon you can afford without asking guests to pay for it. Have a staycation and save up for a bigger trip in the future.

Hi, wedding date twin!


I think whatever works for you guys go with because it is your wedding! We did choose to go with an open bar for our guests, but are only doing beer and wine to help cut back the cost a little.

View Quoted Comment If in any way you suggest that people donate to a honeymoon fund ( unless they come to you and ask) , that is considered rude, too. Basically, you are not supposed to presume people want to give you gifts, or volunteer that you would like people to give you this or that (unless an individual asks you ). This is because gifts are always the choice of the giver. Whether or not to give something, its value, and what it is, giver's choice not yours. And here you would be saying, if you want a cocktail, pay this much money and we will put it toward our honeymoon. When anything you serve should be at no cost to guests. And, it is not up to you to raise funds for a vacation from guests who might choose to give a different gift, or nothing at all. Everything about both the fundraising, bad manners to do it, and directing their funds to your honeymoon, is against long held standards of good manners. Don't assume people want to give you gifts. Not polite.

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Many of those are usually illegal without a license. The government cares more about you selling alcohol than raffle tickets, though, generally, and you're more likely to get a big fine.

I usually see no problem at all with a cash bar-ive been to many.
But it sounds like you are selling alchohol to fund your honeymoon which seems really tacky. Please dont do that.
But its also a know your crowd type of thing. If you think your guests are okay with it then go for it