Catholic and living together

Wow, call a few other churches and find a more modern priest - I am catholic and FH is not, but the church has no problem with us living together, no problem with FH not being catholic, and no hesitation agreeing to marry us. The only restriction is that as FH is not catholic we have to have a ceremony outside the mass, no eucharist.

Oh and no conversion of FH is required.

I'm Catholic but DS is not.Our priest had no problem marrying us.He was 100% sure that we cohabitated and had premarital sex. But he also appreciated how much we loved each other, needed each other, supported each other and encouraged the other to attend Church.Also the fact that we were willing to complete all of the requirements to marry inside of the Church (counseling, Engaged Encounter (CEE), Natural Family Planning, paperwork, etc).

Always remember that in addition to being a priest he is just a man - and man is faulty and carries prejudice. I would not want to be married by a priest who do not support my marriage. I would look for an understanding priest who supports your love, wants you to have the sacrament and does not judge.I wouldn't give up your right to the sacrament due to someone else's personal opinion.

I agree with Deirdre. Go to CEE now and see if that changes anyone's mind. You won't regret attending CEE AND there is always a priest at CEE you can talk to.

I'm not sure what town you live in, but I've noticed that priests who's parishes are in large cities tend to be more liberal.

I was raised seventh day adventist and we were told by all of them we couldn't be married there or by them..But it had nothing to do with living together or not,it was because he isn't seventh day adventist :/

Really,I think that telling people that because they live/sleep together you won't marry them is like a catch,since well,the whole thing is because you sleep together.

If they marry you they solve that.

We are Catholic and living together and we found a priest who had no problem with that! We took a couples' questionnaire as part of our pre-marital counseling with the priest and the only extra thing we had to do was complete the section for couples cohabitating. It was really no big deal and he was very understanding. Good luck!

I am not catholic and my fiancee is and we live together . We went to a episcopal catholic church and the father was really nice and understanding and non judgemental I was so happy I don't have to be catholic to marry him when we met with him he explained marriage to us and even made me cry with his words so touching. After meeting with him I knew 100% I want him to marry us . I wish you luck I know you can find someone who is more accepting

I feel bad you are having to deal with this added stress! Our priest knows we live together and didn't even say anything- I guess our church is a little more modern. I do know friends though who went through the same thing. One couple is doing what was mentioned above- wedding outside of the church and then getting it "approved" by the church afterwards. Good luck!

I am not Catholic, but my fiance is, and we met with one pastor who did not ask us (I didn't know beforehand living together was taboo in the Catholic religion). Not only are we living together, but I'm not Catholic! lol Oh, they're going to love me if we go with a Catholic ceremony... :p

I am going through this right now. My fiance and I met with the priest who is marrying us. He went to catholic high school with my fiance and was ordained a priest. Before meeting with him we were stuck on whether to lie or tell the truth. I thought the game plan was to lie to prevent any other lies but of course when he sat down to talk to us individually, I said we didn't and he said we did. It was not good but luckily he handled it like a friend and a priest. He said he would still marry us but share the statistic (cant find it) that 70% of couples who are cohabitating get divorced vs 50% divorce who didn't live together. He wanted us to basically sleep in different beds meaning NOT HAVING SEX but my fiance took it as sleep in different beds which is annoying. The priest sold him to the fact that our marriage wont feel diff. if we sleep together now. I think its silly because it will feel special because each time we do have sex it is special.

I'm going throught the same thing now. My church asks that we move out and that FH moves out. We cannot afford to pay a mortgage PLUS another rent. I also feel that it would be detrimental to separate a couple that has been together for 5+ yrs and living together for about 3 yrs... and relationships take work!

I'm very frustrated and saddened that this is happening. Did anyone find a Catholic church in the Houston/Sugar Land area that would marry them? .. thanks.

We did find a Catholic priest to marry us even though we live together. He is married himself so he is more liberal and modern than many older more traditional priests.

He sent me this info:

I am a member in good standing of a large association of married Catholic priests, and this association provides endorsement for my public ministry. Because I am married, the Catholic church will not view the ceremony as an "official" Catholic marriage. However, my ministry is fully licensed and certified, and fully recognized by North Carolina and the fifty states, so the marriages that I and other married priests perform are completely lawful and binding. Your wedding will be a beautiful and spiritual celebration for you and your families, and a holy sacrament in the eyes of God!

If you are very concerned about it being an "official" Catholic marriage you might consider http://archden.org/marriage/BringingYourMarriageIntotheChurch.pdf after you are wed.

Some Facts about the Roman Catholic married priesthood

• According to Catholic tradition, once a Roman Catholic priest, always a priest. (Canon Law, #290)

• Married priests remain priests. But they are no longer “clerics,” a position of political authority and license in the hierarchy of the institutional church. Married priests are sometimes incorrectly referred to as “ex-priests,” when in reality they are simply “ex-clerics.” (CL #290).

• Catholic history fully supports a married priesthood. For the first 1200 years of the Church’s existence, priests, bishops and 39 popes were married priests. The man-made rule of mandatory celibacy was imposed in 1139 AD at the Second Lateran Council, mainly to avoid feudal inheritance claims on Church properties in medieval Europe.

• Twenty-one separate articles of Roman Catholic canon law uphold the rights of Roman Catholics to receive ministry and sacraments from married priests if and when they so desire.

• There are more than 20,000 married Roman Catholic priests in the United States (an average of 400 per state), and more than 110,000 world-wide. Organizations of married priests who remain faithful to our Roman Catholic tradition and provide sacramental ministry can be found in 30 countries around the world.

So you should be able to find one near you. Best wishes! :-)

Totally Ironic:

My fiancé's name is Stefanie also and we are going through a similar situation. Both Catholic, once before married (to each other LMFAO) divorced, and now remarrying. Going through the preparation classes with our priest. He knows we are cohabitating. Bottom line, last night, he said we would either need to refrain from the sacrament of communion or cohabitate as brother and sister until we marry.

Uh, that's not going to work. LOL.