Catholic ceremony then civil ceremony

Must be signed by the priest or civil agent before 60 days.

I don't believe you can do a full catholic wedding unless both you and your fiancé are catholic. I think there is a shortened version of it.

There's no need to do two ceremonies? The Catholic priest will sign it for you. I mean, you can have two, but I believe it legally needs to be signed by the first person that performs the ceremony.

Talk to your priest/the person who organizes weddings at your church. In the US, you usually only have one ceremony. (In parts of Europe, a religious ceremony cannot be legally binding, so there has to be two).

We're doing the opposite - civil ceremony now, then in a year or so a catholic ceremony/renewal to be recognized by the church. He is catholic but doesn't practice and I am mostly atheist, so we didn't want to jump through all the church's hoops to be married. ** Is important to YOU to be wed in a church? Your wedding should represent you and FH and your beliefs, which does not need to align with your parents' expectations.

Okay, real honest question. Is a ceremony considered religious because it's done in a church, or because it's done by a pastor/priest?

@TheWrightGirl: I believe a ceremony is considered religious if it's performed by a religious officiant, rather than the venue. (Many, many Jewish weddings take place outside of a synagogue, for example.) For some denominations--especially Catholics--it's only considered a valid marriage if it's performed within the physical church.

We are getting married in the US. Neither of us is religious, but we would be doing this to make my parents happy. I understand that the priest *could* sign the license and we wouldn't *need* a civil ceremony, but I'd like to have the civil ceremony with the document signed then. The idea is that we could do the shortened Catholic service with just family and then everyone else would be in attendance for the civil ceremony outdoors.

Oh okay, I did not realize that at all. Thanks Danielle!!!!!!

Hi jroo, your Catholic ceremony would be the only one you get; you choose one or the other in the US

Please do heed PPs regarding your choice to be married in the church.

Also, @Miss S, you will need to apply for the convalidation of your marriage; it is not a given.

Can the priest just bless your marriage and then you get married in your civil ceremony?

Hi jroo! I'd sit down with your fiance and figure out what the two of your want to do for your wedding ceremony and why! You can ask your local parish, but I do not believe that a Catholic priest would do a symbolic wedding ceremony (not signing the marriage license). Your officiant will be asking for the marriage license, as they are required to sign it and send it in after your ceremony. I also believe that you would need to take pre-cana classes together!

My fiancé says he would do either or both religious and non-religious ceremonies. I do know about the pre-cana classes, but I wouldn't want the marriage license signed at the church, so perhaps we'll just stick to the outdoor civil service.

Wait, can anyone explain to me why two ceremonies would be kosher in Europe but not in the US?

In most European countries, two ceremonies are required if you want a religious one.

https://www.ncronline.org/news/global/european-countries-distinguish-between-religious-civil-marriages

I didn't find the process complicated at all. We just had to attend two pre-Cana sessions. But don't get married in the Church only because your parents want you to do so.

Just have your marriage blessed by the priest. You don't need two ceremonies.

The only person who can answer this for you is your personal priest. Every church is going to be different (and no, most of them won't do a symbolic ceremony first); you can do a civl ceremony and then have a convalidation (which you have to apply for), but even that varies from parish to parish. So far, little of the advice here. however well-meaning, is actually accurate.

Please don't do this. If you don't want to get married in the Catholic Church, then don't get married in the Catholic Church. For Catholics, marriage is a sacrament. It's something sacred. That's why there are so many requirements surrounding it--you're preparing for something that is supposed to be a significant step spiritually. If you aren't practicing, or aren't especially religious, then don't do it. Period.

Placating your parents isn't a good enough reason to cheapen the sacrament.

1) If your fiance was baptized in a swimming pool, his baptism may not be "valid". There are specific criteria that a baptism must meet in order to be approved by the Catholic church. I was baptized in an Episcopal church. The words they say at an Episcopal baptism are acceptable, whereas they are not for certain other traditions.

2) Have you talked to your priest about marriage in the Catholic church? A full mass generally won't be permitted unless both parties are confirmed Catholics. Your FH should have the option to be baptized, receive communion, and be confirmed in time for your May 2018 wedding, IF that's what he truly wants. He would need to go through the RCIA program at a Catholic church, and be initiated at the Easter Vigil next year. I was initiated at the Easter Vigil 2 years ago. It was beautiful and meaningful to me, but this is obviously not the right choice for everyone.

ETA: There is also a "lite" option to have the liturgy of the word and the sacrament of marriage without the liturgy of the Eucharist (communion). They can perform this with one Catholic and one non-Catholic, but you'll need permission from the Bishop. And they may still have a baptismal requirement for your FH.

3) Why would you want to have 2 ceremonies? I don't understand what the issue is with a priest signing the marriage certificate. It's just a piece of paper that you'll never look at.

4) Pre-Cana will also be required. The process differs from one parish to the next. For us, there was an option to either do 3 counseling sessions with a retired deacon and his wife, or do an all day class run by the diocese. We chose the first option and it was lovely.

5) Be true to yourselves. If you do not truly wish to be married in the church, don't do it just to appease your parents. If you do, yes, some work will be required to do so.