Catholic ceremony: veil etiquette

I think a mantilla veil is probably going to be one of your best bets here- primarily because it has its roots in catholicism, particularly Spanish, Latin & Italian. They're an elongated version of the head veils that you'll see women wear at traditional latin masses. They also (depending on the church) can be used to cover the shoulders and meet that requirement if you want to have a sleeveless dress. I think then you could also either attach it to your hairline if you dont want it over your face, or drape it onto of your head as a whole to cover shoulders and face in one go.

My fiancé's family is traditional Roman Catholic so I've seen this through some of his friends. While we don't practice, I've definitely seen some GORGEOUS mantillas over the years and considered one myself

I've seen many types of veils and dresses in Catholic Church weddings so the style is up to you, not your FIL's. R.C. Churches as well as Buddhist temples do prefer some modesty like covered shoulders, but you could use a veil or cape to do so. Some dresses have matching veils so you could find the dress first. I would check with your Church if you are interested in skipping the veil altogether. Btw, you can also walk down the aisle with both of your parents (I did) or by yourself. It would otherwise be insulting to exclude a family member or insult someone without a family in the name of tradition.

I've been looking to pass on my veil and chord for that 5 minute part of the ceremony, if you're interested. You'd have to get your own coins (arras) though.

I would speak to the priest that is marrying you, or other members of the church staff. Depending on where you are, some churches are more lenient. For instance, when my brother got married (full Catholic mass and wedding service) all ladies in attendance had to have their shoulders covered, except the bride who was given a pass as her dress was strapless.

The veil is more tradition than rule - all my family who have gotten married in a Catholic mass haven't done the blusher/father reveal veil - They all just had theirs placed where they wanted them. If that's something you want to do (its a beautiful tradition) I would wait until you have the dress. If you have a very detailed back and a good sized train, you may not want a full cathedral veil as it will take away from that. You might want to go with a blusher and an elbow length. Or even just a fly away with a small blusher.

I'm personally not going with a veil at all due to the color of my dress and hair, it would look like a funeral veil (we're also not having a Catholic service as my fiancé was not raised in the church and doesn't want it), but had I gone that route I was going to go mantilla. The lace and beading details are personally my absolute favorite. Those can also be any length, but again I would think about your dress details and how you might want to style your hair as they will all effect each other.

First, I'd talk to the priest or church coordinator to see if they have any rules or requirements for what you can/ cannot wear. Some churches are a lot more lenient than others.

From there, you can honestly choose whichever style you like so long as it complies with whatever the church says. My grandma had a birdcage veil, my mom had an elbow length veil with a blusher, and mine was a cathedral length veil without a blusher. All different styles, but all Catholic weddings.

I would suggest getting the dress first though. Some dresses have coordinating veils that come in different lengths/ styles, and sometimes the color of a dress won't match a veil even if they're listed as the same color (ex. Designer A's "ivory" might be a different shade than Designer B's "ivory"), and it would be a bummer if you loved a certain dress but it didn't go with the veil.

The symbolism of the veil regarding marriage in the church is actually one of the veil between heaven and earth is torn when God became man. The Christian marriage of husband and wife representing the marriage of Christ to his church means that the husband removes the veil, not the dad.

That said, it isn't a written part of the liturgical rite, you can do what you culturally would like to do, and the type of veil, or if there is a veil at all isn't required.