I am a little nervous posting this here since I have seen some forum posts get ugly. I completely respect opinions that are not rude as this is my first wedding and I just do not know. My fiancee and I have been engaged for a couple of years and are finally tying the knot. At first, we were going to elope just us two at a resort (neither one of us have a desire to have a big wedding due to budget, his social anxiety and both my parents are deceased) but in researching it is complicated and not necessarily cheaper then a small, intimate wedding in our home state. We decided it is easier and less stress to just have a small ceremony here since we got a free hotel stay in the U.S. and we can stay in a hotel in one of our favorite cities and have the ceremony there...a bit of a destination wedding. 
When we first got engaged I told people up front we were not having a wedding (at my age I am not willing to save up for years or go into debt. Would much rather save and have an amazing honeymoon for less.) but my friends would always respond with "we can still celebrate." Our wedding will be close friends and family. 20 max which means many of my friends, whose weddings I have been to, will not be invited to mine. Due to a minimal budget we cannot afford to have a lot of people nor is that something we both want. I know it is not proper to invite people to the ceremony, especially out of town and not the reception and we cannot afford to feed a lot of people, plus I would rather avoid the out of control spiral of if I invite so and so then I should invite so and so.
Honestly, I never thought I would get married and even though I am not having a big ceremony or reception I still would like to celebrate my upcoming big day with my friends as I have often dreamt of. My thought was a bridal brunch (no gifts but everyone comes and pays for their meal if they want to come -- something informal and just spending time) and a bachelorette weekend local with various events for people to come and attend (mostly restaurant related).
Since many of my friends mentioned that they would love to celebrate even though they are aware I am not having a wedding and some I have told my plan of a small wedding (implying they are not invited) is it bad etiquette to hold informal get-togethers to celebrate my upcoming big day? I won't ask for gifts; just wanna celebrate with my friends. Thoughts? If this is not proper then do you have alternative that do not cost me a lot of money.
