Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes December 2022

Ceremony and dinner only, 30 guests, is this okay?

Jennifer, on January 30, 2022 at 2:55 AM Posted in Planning 1 11

Saved

Flag
Hide content

My partber and I are a little awkward. We want to be in nature. In winter. In the PNW. We agreed we would write down exactly what we wanted and not think aboutt guests. After all thats what everyone has told us to do, right?

So the day before, we get lodging for immediate family. Small dinner.
Day of, relax until the ceremony. Warm dress, fuzzy boots, got em. But it'll be on the Oregon coast on December 21st, then we'll drive about 10 minutes down the road for a dinner at a restaurant.
..but that's it. We really just want to eat dinner, go back to the hotel and enjoy the hot tub. We dont want to dance, both of us get anxiety at parties.
Are we bad people for making people stand in the cold then be rewarded with just dinner? Granted it'll be a /good/ dinner, but without entertainment. We decided against a venue because we dont need all the bells and whistles.
Has anyone done something similar? Im happy to soend time with the additional 20 or so guests at dinnertime, but do I really need any entertainment? We honestly cant afford a venue to dance at. And since my family of 3 is living in poverty, I will be paying for their flights and lodging and warm clothes.

Flag
Hide content

11 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on January 30, 2022 at 6:56 PM

Just Said Yes December 2022
Jennifer · on January 30, 2022 at 2:56 AM
Flag

Hide content
Sorry for spelling errors. My fingers shake so its hard to type.
- Reply
Super September 2022
Sarah · on January 30, 2022 at 4:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
One of my best friends had her wedding just like this! They originally planned the typically venue with reception and DJ, but then COVID changed it and they did a backyard wedding with about 30-40 people. Yes it was cold, but the wedding turned out beautiful and the food was delicious! We were there for a total of 3 hours including ceremony, family/friend pictures, first dance, and dinner.

As a guest I was a little sad we didn’t get to spend more time there with them since we took off work, however I know it was exactly what they wanted so I was happy to do that for them. I think if this is what you want then that is absolutely perfect!
- Reply
Dedicated April 2023
Ashley · on January 30, 2022 at 5:51 AM
Flag

Hide content
Entertainment at a reception is not required. Neither is an indoor venue. At all weddings, there are a % of guests that are not into dancing, so the entertainment for them is chatting, mingling with each other and with the happy couple. This is what your guests will do.
I attended 2 weddings without dancing or other entertainment: chatting, mingling is what we did, like a giant family new year's eve.
The only requirement it to provide enough food and drinks.I'm 100% sure you and fiancé will get some backlash, negative opinions because many people are traditional, especially the over 40-45 . But at the end of the day, it's important that you do what you and your fiancé want.
- Reply
Super August 2023
Lunajay · on January 30, 2022 at 7:45 AM
Flag

Hide content
Your day sounds so relaxing and stress free. Sounds prefect to me. No your not bad people for wanting this. The wedding/ceremony/w.e is about two people joining their families into one. The pandemic has taught everyone at least one about wedding, and it's that you can do it however you and your partner want to do to make the two of you happy.
Congratulations, Good Luck and Happy Planning
- Reply
Super May 2019
KYLIE · on January 30, 2022 at 10:39 AM
Flag

Hide content
I think your plan sounds absolutely lovely. I would plan on a short ceremony and reiterate to your guests they should dress warm. (Maybe even have hand warmers and a few blankets at the ceremony in case people forget or are extra chilly?)
We didn’t have dancing at our wedding because we didn’t want to! We served an amazing dinner that people still talk about and I don’t think anyone felt shortchanged with less time with us. (Granted, we did continue partying with a good chunk of our guests at the hotel bar after but even if we hadn’t, it would have been fine.)
- Reply
Devoted April 2022
Christy · on January 30, 2022 at 12:33 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think this is an awesome plan but, then again, I’m doing something similar. 50 guests, dinner reception only. No entertainment, no bouquet toss, etc. We are having a playlist (mostly just lighter background music) & an indoor venue, but that’s only because I didn’t want the extra stress of worrying about the weather. I do understand your concerns. It’s difficult to have to deal with expectations & everyone expects you to follow the usual template. The last weddings that I went to that had dancing, most ppl didn’t dance. Everyone just mingled & complained about the loud music. And, no it wasn’t just the older folks either. This made me feel MUCH better about choosing to forgo all of that. Just make sure you communicate on your invitations (“Dinner to follow”; “Dinner reception to follow”; “Dinner & drinks to follow”).
- Reply
Devoted March 2022
Sine · on January 30, 2022 at 1:24 PM
Flag

Hide content
This is perfect! Of course it's okay. I'm doing something similar with like 22 people. Only like a luncheon type reception after the ceremony. The dancing stuff and music none of us are into either.
- Reply
Devoted June 2022
Grace · on January 30, 2022 at 2:12 PM
Flag

Hide content
Honestly that sounds so lovely and intimate! I’m not much for dancing and partying so I would much rather attend a small wedding like that than the “normal” wedding. My fiancé and I have opted for a smaller wedding too and likely won’t have dancing.
- Reply
Devoted June 2022
PermaGrin · on January 30, 2022 at 4:21 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Agreed - this sounds awesome - I would also say "Dinner Reception to follow"
Sounds like a lovely time!
- Reply
Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on January 30, 2022 at 5:18 PM
Flag

Hide content
Just dinner is perfectly acceptable. Many weddings don’t have dancing or other entertainment and there is zero judgment. Guests are more than happy for a chance to simply mingle and catch up. However if you invite guests, you always need to accommodate for their comfort. Whomever told you to not care about guests is 1000% wrong. Guests will never tell you directly they are uncomfortable or offended.

In situations where there is not enough ceremony/reception seating, guests are expected to be in extreme weather conditions and so on, that is not taking them into consideration at all. Your ceremony may only be 5-10 minutes but guests arrive 30 minutes early to get a seat and will be standing around until you make your entrance and while you are leaving. Asking guests to stand outside in cold weather for the entire duration is asking a lot.
- Reply