Ceremony for show

Totally dont have to share but what sort of financial circumstances are deterring you from an actual marriage? maybe we have information or tips to help.

I dont know how I feel about a commitment ceremony either but I have done no research so I can not judge till then. However if gifts were expected I do not agree with that tbh. In a gay/les situation that is different before it was legalized.

WE ARE ASKING FOR NO GIFTS.

And to be honest both of my daughters are disabled with spina bifida among other things and they cannot lose their insurance. As of now they don't count my finances income bc we aren't married. That is the only reason we are considering the commitment ceremony.

Sorry to hear about your daughters. Couldn't they go on your husbands insurance? or are they on state insurance? I'm hoping theres another option.

View Quoted Comment State insurance. As all their medical care would be outrageous. For instance, just their catheter supply a month is $1800 each not counting all other medications, specialists, when surgeries are needed, medical equipment. 😶

That must be hard.

View Quoted Comment They are wonderful, wouldn't change them for anything in the world. I just hate seeing them go through pain. With the surgeries.. and thank you

View Quoted Comment OP I'm not trying to be insensitive, I'm genuinely curious here and interested in trying to help you.

Are your kids on Medicaid or Medicare? I know there are caps on state insurance, and I wondered if it would be possible to switch them, or look into other disability insurance.

If you don't want to be legally married, disregard these suggestions. I just wondered if something else was possible.

And as a side note, for ceremonies, whether or not you're asking for/expecting gifts, people tend to bring them.

My friend had a commitment ceremony. She did it with just her, her Fiance and the officiant and photographer. So I guess it was an elopement?
Less than a year later she sent her close family and friends a booklet with beauirful pictures and their love story. I thought it was very sweet.

They also did not marry for financial reasons. He had many medical issues and would lose his insurance if they legally married.

But having the ceremony was important to them. She wore a beautiful wedding dress and for them it was their wedding.

Sadly, he passed away about a year after. My friend did not have access to the autopsy information (unless his next of kin informed her) and his funeral was how his mother wanted; my friend had no say.

View Quoted Comment This is true. Common law marriage is real and it can come with many of the same complications as marriage.
Why do you need a commitment ceremony at all if you two know you’re in it for life? I think having a ceremony might make it more complicated and ‘legit’ than you want.

View Quoted Comment My state doesn't have common law marriage. And my fh really wants a ceremony whether it's just a commitment ceremony or legit wedding

View Quoted Comment Hahahahaha exactly.

OP I am so sorry to hear about all of this. It makes me so sad that getting married would take away those benefits for your children. Does it take them away completely or just change because there is added income? My heart goes out to you!

View Quoted Comment Take them away completely and I just don't think we could afford everything with private insurance. Its ridiculous to me. I think if your truly disabled that they shouldn't take away their ins. But it is what it is.. maybe in a different state it would be better than va.

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That is ridiculous. I am so sorry to hear that. I would have no probably going to a commitment ceremony. Especially if I knew the circumstances which I am sure many of your friends would. Just make sure it isn't legally binding and in turn illegal to continue on what you have now. I don't know anything about those laws but I would make sure to be careful. Best of luck :-) I really hope it works out for you.

View Quoted Comment Why not just go to the courthouse and get married then?

Nevermind to my above comment, I read that wrong!

View Quoted Comment Kids can't switch from Medicaid to Medicare. Medicare is for the elderly.

It literally makes me SO upset to read the judgement from some of you ladies here. Smh. It really does.

To the OP. It's a commitment ceremony and it's an absolutely BEAUTIFUL way to display your love and commitment to eachother in front of family and friends. And wanna know what else I think? there's NOTHING wrong with accepting gifts. Not a thing!!!!

Be honest and call it what it is. A beautiful commitment ceremony.

Why not just do a large anniversary party? It sounds like you just want to celebrate your love and show you are a unit.