Ceremony ONLY invites?

There is nothing wrong with making your desires known and it can be done tactfully. You can enclose a card the ceremony invitation that says

"We are overjoyed to include you in our marriage ceremony and are thrilled that you can share in our joy. Due to budget and limited venue accommodations, we are unable to host all guests at the small reception that is planned. Thank you for be a part of our special day.

You may want to offer a dvd of the reception, a small gift or framed photo to special ceremony invitees that would arrive shortly after the wedding. Something to smooth over ruffled feelings would be smart. The most important thing is to visit the people who are invited personally with your fiancee if at all possible in order to make your guests feel included since they are not going to be at the party part of the day.

Be prepared that there are guests who will not give any gift to you since they are not invited to the reception. Perhaps, consider a less expensive venue.

I'm not sure what etiquette states and I totally understand and feel for your dilemma but I will say that if I was invited to a wedding ceremony but not the reception after I would take offense. And usually I don't take anything personally, but when I put myself in the place of your guests I definitely would not be happy getting an invite like that. I kept my guest list very small because I really wanted quality over quantity, plus I wanted an intimate feel, so I do understand not being able to invite everyone you want. I just couldn't imagine seeing someone at the ceremony, then saying "thanks for coming but now we're all going to go party, see ya later we'll be sure to tell ya all about how fun it was sorry you can't go!" I think either save up longer, scale down the reception costs, or just invite less people.

I personally wouldn't take offense. In my religion when you have a ceremony at the church anyone is welcome since it is a public place. But the receptions are usually invitation only. So I'm used to that, it leaves it up to the guest. They can choose whether they will be bitter and decide to just "x" you out b/c they weren't invited to the reception or if they want to share in the most important part of the day which is the joining of two souls into one family unit.

LOL I like what my sister said. She said it'd end up on some "Dear Abby" post about the "almost" invited guest. I think I'll just keep the list minimal haha!

Hi Amy, and congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I had to do ceremony-only invites because otherwise we couldn't afford it. In today's economic climate, I don't see how anyone could think this was unreasonable. If the people are really there to celebrate with you, then they should be happy just coming to the wedding.

I have to go with Laura L. on this one -- it's like saying, "Sure you can come to the ceremony, whatever, there's plenty of room, but we don't like you enough to actually want you at our party where we'll actually have to talk to you & pay for your meal." At best it gives the impression whether they're there or not, at worst it's that you don't want them there but are inviting them to the ceremony either out of obligation or because there's no reason not to

If you're having a church wedding, you can't NOT invite people to the ceremony. The mindset is its God's house, so no one is turned away. BUT to ask people to travel to a ceremony only is quite rude, indeed (not so much for locals.) The most proper thing to do is to send out wedding announcements after the fact ("Mr & Mrs SMith aer please to announce the marriage of their daughter.....")I suppose you could have a separate reception card and only send it to those you are inviting to both, but those not invited will find out where the reception is and show up assuming you've simply forgotten to enclose the reception card OR they will not show up but be quite miffed at the slight. It is never OK to send out a "you're not invited" card.

It's not at a church... also WHOA calm the F down, not like I'm not inviting you Studio G. Didn't feel your response was exactly informative or helpful but more like bitter and contemptuous. I don't know who got you in such a snit, but it wasn't me!

I asked around and it's pretty much 50/50 on this one. I'm just doing the reception and ceremony invites. As already stated above....

I will be handing out Ceremony only invites to my students. this is my first year teaching (5th grade) and several have asked to come. I have grown so close to them, I thought it would be exciting for them to experience. They completely understand that its an adults only reception and are happy to get invited to the ceremony. If you have only having 70 come for budget reasons, maybe having the ceremony and reception at two different places might help the chaos of people trying to get in, also maybe having some time in between might help people see that it was a separate invitation for the receoption? Just a thought

Truthfully I do think it is wrong to invite all to the Ceremony and fewer to your Reception. That's why when my hubby and I got married by a JOP we didn't invite anyone, since we couldn't afford to take everyone out to dinner with us or they had other things going on and we personally didn't want my family paying hundreds or thousands of dollars just to fly out for a Wedding Ceremony and us not be able to take them out to dinner after since we had to pay for it ourselves. Really the best thing I can tell you without you breaking your Budget is Invite the 70 whom you will invite to your Reception and that way those who are only invited to your Ceremony aren't left out. I've had to downsize on my list too in order to make sure I was in budget and keep it to immediate family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and a few close friends of each of my hubby's and mine to be able to put together something for our Anniversary and have something bigger with a budget we can afford.

I can understand where you're coming from, but I do agree with Laura where being invited to a Wedding, I would take offense too if an it were an invitation to just the Ceremony and not the Reception. It does make those feel like "well if I'm good enough they only want me at their ceremony, but I'm not good enough to enjoy the rest of the night with them." I've only been to 3 Weddings in my entire life time and only once was I only invited to the Ceremony just because my sister was the Substitute last minute Flower Girl and our dad had custody of us that weekend and flew in from out of town. We were young children then. The Bride and Groom were thoughtful to send a favor home for each my sister and I with our mom who went to both. I couldn't nor would I ever do that to anyone whom has shared in my husband's and my life to only invite them to our ceremony and not the reception.

We tastfully sent out announcements letting all of those close to us know we were married in a private ceremony and that we planned to Renew our Vows and have a Reception at a time to later be determined and that way they knew we wanted to include them in our Wedding but something where they could share with us at a later time and date. Really for those you aren't planning to have at the Reception sending out an Announcement that you were Married is better than only being invited to just the Ceremony and not both and this is really taking the feelings of others into consideration.

Cool, yah I'm going to just append some things here and there. Actually I was talking with my man about it, and the Catering and food is LAST on my priority list. People are there to see US. SO, we're going to get a cake and then I'm going to have my family help by making cookies and cupcakes and I'm getting a chocolate fountain and we're going to just pig out on junk food and sweets!!! THAT is my kind of wedding anyhow!!!! It's going to ROCK!!!!

So sorry if my post offended you. I was merely pointing out the proper etiquette for the situation, and the problems inherent in not following what has worked in the past. You asked for my thoughts, as an experiened professional, I gave them. It is up to you to do what you wish.

If you're able to do that and have all that you invite to your Ceremony and have them at the Reception to "pig out on junk food" with you, and that's what your budget can afford than do that. I don't mean to offend you in anyway, but some of your replies on here are rude and uncalled for when a lot of us are trying to help you with your post and at least point out Wedding Ettiquete, which your post is anything but. If you're able to put something else together as a Reception where you can have all that matter to you that you want at both your Ceremony and Reception than go for that. Congratulations and good luck with your wedding.

Have you thought about tailoring your reception into a cocktail soiree. You could also play with the time of day that you are having your wedding. Breakfast foods are a lot cheaper than dinner. Also, instead of having a plated or buffet a cute buttler pass horderves would be suitable. Or what about having a wedding on a Friday or Sunday to limit the amount of people who may attend. These times are usually cheaper $1000 cheaper than a Sat.

I don't see the problem with it if you label it as an open ceremony and private reception. I am doing that for my wedding because we are having the reception at my mom's which isn't a large area. I didn't invite anyone to the ceremony only who I didn't invite myself in person already. People who we invited to the ceremony only were co-workers, church members, and people who might have said "Where's my invitation?" to me, to which I replied "You should come to the ceremony...." If your willing to ask me where your invite is, I'm willing to say come to the ceremony...there's room! Plus I am going to have a cocktail hour (no liquor there of course) in the fellowship hall so that the guests can mingle and have some refreshments while we take pictures. Just make sure you do a receiving line to say Thank-You to all of the guests who came. Besides anyone who really cares would be honored to come and mybe thankful they don't have to make a whole day out of it, good luck with that and congrats!

Generally, they “SAY” that it’s not etiquette to invite someone to the ceremony but not the reception. With that being said - I say SCREW IT! First, it’s YOUR WEDDING - if you continue to worry about how others feel, you will not enjoy your wedding and when it’s all said and done, EVERYONES FEELINGS would have dictated your special day - not you! Secondly, the wedding CEREMONY IS the most important part of the wedding...NOT the after party, aka “Reception”...who made themselves God and determines that the reception is more important and people should be invited to that over the ceremony? What credibility does this etiquette have anyway???? None! Go against the grain, color outside the box, and look at it as if you’re “INCLUDING” everyone to THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE WEDDING, and not excluding people from an after party! I’d say, invite who you want to the ceremony without having to invite them to the reception.

I have 100 for the meal. If we invited all the people we get on with would be 200+ wouldn't be able to see anyone. I've seem these kind of questions everywhere. My fave solution so far is announce to your community (as you would in a church newsletter) the date and place and that you'd love them to come support. I think avoiding an official invite is less offensive/risky. And people who know you more distantly can decide if its a nice thing they'd like to be involved in or too much effort ☺