Ceremony & Reception locations are different

This is probably a know your crowd situation, but I've only ever heard of gaps for religious weddings. If I was invited to this event, I'd probably skip the ceremony because i wouldn't want to have to find something to do for 4 hours.

Out of the many weddings I've attended in my lifetime, the only ones with significant gaps and with ceremonies and receptions at different locations were Catholic weddings. Is there a reason you've decided to hold your ceremony at a winery instead of the banquet hall? I think that large gaps are acceptable for Church weddings where couples don't get to dictate the timing of the ceremony, but in your situation, I agree with PP. I would be inclined to skip the ceremony altogether. You might consider going to that other location to take photos with your bridal party before the ceremony instead of afterwards in order to eliminate the gap. Also, cocktail hours are great times to take family photos.

Could the winery do the ceremony at a later time? That could trim the gap down. If the people in your circle are used to having different locations and/ or gaps then I don't think it would be too much of an issue, although those issues do tends to be more common with religious weddings.

Another idea would be to have the reception at the winery. Even if there would still be a gap, guests would be able to kill time there without having to worry about finding a DD, pay for an Uber, etc.

"I am wondering if the time gap ~4 hours is too much of a "wait" for guests. Technically, they could go to the winery and buy drinks/food to kill time."

I think it's absolutely too much of a gap. And your "technically" statement doesn't sound very inviting or appealing to guests. Kill time? And if they buy their own food and drinks during that period, they will be "over it" and not really that excited about whatever food and drinks you are providing at your reception. Not to mention being bored and tired from sitting around for so long in their wedding attire.

Are either of the venues close to where people live or close to the hotel most people are staying at? If so then that’s okay, but not ideal. If I were a guest, depending on how close I was to the couple, I might skip the ceremony. I’ve been to one wedding with the large gap and it was a religious ceremony and I think it was about a 3 hour gap. However, the reception was at a hotel so we just stayed in our hotel room until it was time for cocktail hour.

As a guest with that kind of gap (whether religious or not), I would attend one of the events but not both. In this case. I would attend the ceremony at the winery and forgo the banquet hall.

As a guest, I'd find this extremely unpleasant.... We've done it before, but like others mentioned it was for relatives' Catholic ceremonies and the resulting gap.... It's such a waste of the guests' time. In my experience, even with a Catholic mass a ton of guests just blow off the ceremony -- and I find that really sad, the ceremony should be the most important part in my opinion. At the same time, unless you were a close family member, we'd either skip the ceremony or decline the entire invitation with the timeline you're suggesting.

I would definitely be upset to wait 4 hours. I think it’s pretty unacceptable to ask your guests to wait around and find something to do with themselves for hours. If they do attend the ceremony they will be tired and not wanted to attend the reception with that much of a wait time. If they do attend both they will probably eat and might not really eat the food you paid for. They might even leave the reception early. If they for sure want to attend the reception they might skip the ceremony. I just don’t think it’s a good idea and if you want the photos at different locations then you definitely should do that before the ceremony and have the ceremony later

I think most people are more accepting of a gap when it's a church wedding and might be confused as to why there's such a long gap for a ceremony at a winery (they'd probably also wonder why the reception isn't just held there immediately following the ceremony). I do think a lot of people would lose steam with 4 hours in between - even with religious weddings I don't think I've experienced a gap longer than maybe 2 hours.

Just echoing what others have said; 4 hours is way too long to just "kill time." Sometimes gaps are unavoidable, but a good general rule of thumb is that when necessary, they should be kept to two hours or less.

There might be a gap in my wedding. I have my ceremony at a chapel around noon and then dinner at a restaurant an hour away from ceremony location

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Why not have lunch instead of dinner? That would be much nicer for all of your guests.

View Quoted Comment Do you even know which post you’re commenting in? It’s a post about having a gap in your wedding between ceremony and reception. I’d re-read the post again.

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She’s coming up with an idea to close the gap. It’s a good thought, to have lunch right after the ceremony.

Couple things here, first yes that gap to too long. The only gap like that I’ve seen are for religious reasons, and even those are controversial. What are your guests meant to be doing while you’re driving to a secondary location for photos? Is there any way you could do that before the ceremony?

Also, technically everyone invited to the ceremony should be invited to the reception. Are the parents going to be ok with driving their kids home then driving to the reception? It feels like a long day.

I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m not talking about you or your wedding. I’m addressing the questions asked by the original poster, and I explained to you what Maggie’s suggestion meant.

I didn’t say getting photos done beforehand was the only way, I was giving suggestions on how to close that gap. This is planning board. For ideas on planning.

I also did not say that kids were required at a wedding. I said that if you invite them to the ceremony, they need to be also invited to the reception.

You’re misquoting me wildly.

This forum is for anyone, and my personal circumstances don’t need to be explained to you.

ETA, Suzanne posted an “interesting” post addressed to me that since has been removed. I’m not just talking to myself, lol.

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I was responding to your comment to the OP, about the planned gap in your wedding, offering a suggestion about how to close it.