Ceremony vs Reception

The reception is what costs money, but what you are proposing is simply rude.

It is proper to do it the other way around, having an intimate, family only wedding and a larger reception, but you must host everyone you invite to the ceremony.

If you can't afford to host the guest list you have now, you do have options: cut the guest list, or cut back the expense of the reception by making other choices- an early afternoon ceremony followed by light refreshments, or a morning ceremony followed by brunch.

I would never think to invite people to just the ceremony. If you invite them to the reception, it's like you are inviting them to the ceremony also. But some people still want to see the ceremony even though they didn't get invited to the reception. You don't just send a separate invite to the ceremony

I wouldn’t do that. It’s like saying “your not good enough for us to buy you dinner and drinks.” I woukdnt want to exclude anyone

You just need to get it back under control and limit the number of people you invite. But in my mind it is very rude and kind of hurtful go invite someone to your ceremony and then not feed them or basically invite them to spend time with you afterwards.

Tiered receptions are incredibly rude. Please don't do that.

Cut it the entire guest list down to what you can afford to host properly.

Cut the guest list down to only the people that you can invite to the reception. It's extremely rude to invite people to the ceremony and not the reception.

Honestly, inviting someone to just the ceremony is probably the height of rudeness.

Think of the reception as the thank you for the time the guests took out of their lives to witness your ceremony.

"You are important enough to see me get married, and bring me a gift, but not important enough for me to pay to host you!"

This may not be your exact intention, but that's the exact impression you'll give your guests if you go forward with this idea.

I mean i know it cost but normally people limit ceremony and invite everyone to reception. I just wouldnt have a reception then

Echoing everyone else here. It's kind of a slap in the face to be invited to sit thru a ceremony but then basically be told "sorry, you aren't important enough to us to include in our dinner and dancing." They are probably going to travel, buy a gift, whatever....you can't just expect them to F off after you've said I do. Or, if you do expect that, expect a lot of hurt feelings and ended friendships.

If you can’t afford a full meal reception, have an early afternoon ceremony and a cake and punch reception - finish by 5pm so there’s no expectation of a meal being served. You can’t invite people to the ceremony and not the reception.

Please don't do a cake and punch reception. If you can only afford to feed 12 people or you can only afford to feed 40 people, that is who you invite. And to answer your original question, do not invite folks to the ceremony and not the reception.

View Quoted Comment What’s wrong with a cake and punch reception? If it’s not over a meal time why would it be a problem?

It sounds like you and your fiance need to sit down and go over the guest list again from start to finish. Decide how many people you can realistically host and cut the list to that number - no excuses unless you can afford to include all of excuses. If any of your parents are paying or contributing, they may need to be included in this discussion but I would honestly do it first just the two of you.

This is hard, and it sucks. We had to do it a few times to get our guest list to a more manageable number. We just opened a bottle of wine and cut from all sides until we got to where we wanted. We still ended up 25 people over our ideal number but we agreed we could adjust things like favors and decor to ensure we could have everyone we wanted and feed/drink them the way we wanted to.