Changing bridesmaids

Seems ok to me. Is there a particular reason you are wanting to make this change? Are you worried about hurting someone’s feelings? It may be best to leave it as is, but changing it seems reasonable too

It's totally fine to have two people both be a MOH! A maid of honor and matron of honor are pretty much the same title: a maid of honor is someone who isn't married, and a matron of honor is someone who is married. As long as you don't have two MOHs and only one bridesmaid, I think it'd be totally fine to ask one of your bridesmaids to be a co-MOH!

View Quoted Comment My fiancé is planning on doing co-best mans. And people think Jenn my other bridesmaid would be better at getting things in order and taking control with help.

View Quoted Comment I just wasn’t sure if it’s be odd, since I asked her to be a bridesmaid already. Thanks for the help.

I will go completely against the grain here. In addition to being awkward and perhaps hurtful to “promote” one BM and not the others after the fact, you aren’t doing it for the right reasons. These roles are meant to honor the relationship and should not be based on who is likely to “do” more for you. If you weren’t inclined to ask them both from the beginning then I’d leave things as they are.


Anyone can take the initiative to plan parties or offer help. Those things are optional and voluntary not a job or obligation that comes with the MOH role.

PS It’s also totally unecessary to match FI in number of attendants or their roles.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. It’s not a good look to switch up from your original plan.


Also, when you have 2+ “of honor” attendants, the honor ceases to exist. Especially when you have one or more without the title.

I'm going to add a note of caution here too. Promoting people to keep numbers even is not a fantastic idea. Also the MOH is not responsible for helping with wedding planning or tasks, just as an fyi. That's kind of an expectation that may not be realistic.

View Quoted Comment I wasn’t saying it was to match numbers. I’m just realizing that my matron of honor can’t make any decisions. Over anything the bachelorette party and the bridal party. I’ve been leaving it up to her and explaining I’ll love anything. Instead of discussing it with the other girls she’s sending me 15 different things to do. It’s overwhelming me. It’s doing a disservice. I just think she wouldn’t accep the help from my other friends since she doesn’t have a title. It’s odd.

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Still not a great reason to promote someone. It might end up making the MOH feel like she's meeting your expectations and the late addition feel like an afterthought.

Your wedding isn't until next year. There's really nothing they need to be doing now anyway.

She’s trying to do all of this now. I just thought it’d help her but hey maybe she doesn’t want the help. I just don’t understand why she just didn’t talk amongst the others. Instead she sent a group message with me in it and telling her the ideas. Not just getting the girls together and brainstorming.

And the one person I was thinking promoting to help, did make a comment about not being a moh. I know I shouldn’t feed into that either though. I had so many people make snide remarks about not even being in the wedding. It’s all just fun stuff. At least 3 of my gfs was hoping they’d be in it. My fiancé didn’t want a ridiculous amount of people in it. He doesn’t even like that there are 7 bridesmaids.

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I'd just tell her that while you appreciate the sentiment you are really not comfortable helping to plan anything in your honor. Other than providing your availability and potential guest lists closer to the time, you don't feel it's appropriate to be involved and you don't expect anything from anyone who hasn't offered on her own to plan or participate.